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Help! I am the devil I hear my father saying that to the caretaker. I resent him so much. I know what's right and wrong, but it's so hard. He is always the victim. I have four other siblings that haven't been around in 3 years, I gave up my personal life to care for my father who treats me like crap. The only thing that saves me is I have a full time job. I need advice on how to deal with the mental games.

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I sometimes feel used & worthless, born only to serve. But it got better. It was my own decision to give back by taking care of my mother. I did have a wonderful childhood. I found ways to be happy while making sure she’s clean, well fed & in as much peace as possible. Once I got a routine going, I had more time for me.
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The thing to remember is that you do not have to do anything for him at all. You are allowed to do as your siblings have and step away.

Having Narc parents, I know there is no reward in putting myself in their firing line. So I have clearly set and stated boundaries for both of them. I refuse to accept their abuse.
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You might get some insight browsing this long running thread

https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/elder-mom-is-miserable-nasty-hateful-person-145470.htm?orderby=oldest
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