We've been having issues with my MIL for the last 4 years. We live in another country but we bought a house and had a handicapped apartment added to it for her. If you look back I think you can see all the problems we were having with her.
In Dec. she fell 5 times in 8 days. The ambulance service that came to pick her up ended up calling an agency and reporting her as an endangered senior. They came out to evaluate her and decided she was fine. She had someone come in mornings M-F for 3 hours to clean, run errands and get breakfast and lunch and someone that came in 6 nights a week to bathe her, get dinner and clean up the mess she made after the morning person left. Everyone agreed that it would be best for her to move but she was not declared mentally incompetent (shocker!) so she could make her own decisions. The state agency even agreed that she was competent.
When we were home for 2 weeks at Christmas we told her she had to move. We told her we had found an AL place where some of her friends were. We asked her if they could come out and talk to her and she said yes. Unfortunately they said she didn't qualify for AL. She will need to be in a nursing home. Luckily this place had AL and a NH. We took her to see the nursing home side and she reluctantly agreed to go "for a short time". It's a nice place, everyone has their own room. They allowed her to get rid of the bed and bring in a lift chair to sleep in. She has enough money that she can live here for 6-7 years as a private pay patient.
The problem is - she's ready to go home. She's only been there 1 1/2 weeks and she keeps saying it's time to go home. And the facility can't keep her if she gets it in her head to ask someone to come pick her up and take her home. Although, she won't be able to get in. We had so many people that came and went (aides, ambulance, police, visitors) and she kept handing out the code to unlock the door anytime someone came over so we've changed all the codes. Since we're so far away, we didn't like the idea of someone possibly breaking in since they knew we were gone.
And one of her children came and cleaned out all the food in the house. What was usable they kept for themselves, what was outdated they threw away. Also some of the furniture is gone. We had to burn her old lift chair (bought a new one for the NH) as it was disgusting. Poop and pee all over it.
I'm guessing since the state has said she is competent, there is nothing we can do if she just gets up to leave. Has anyone had this problem? If so, do you have advice on how to keep her there?