Follow
Share

My husband has dementia and our daughter lives 1 hr. from us. She wants us to be closer. Sometime he wants to go home and I tell him he is home. Later he looks around and realizes he is home.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Moving a person with Dementia can confuse them, I don’t know they have something to do with “home”, whenever I’m out with my dad he keeps asking “when are we going home?”, so I agree with everyone here, moving to new home is not the best option here.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes i asked my doc if mum was to move with me to another place? she said NO not a good idea that she will progress faster. I notice she is more agitated when we are out in town she wants to go home alot earlier than usual so maybe an hour in town now before she says im tired i want to go home? so strange last year she was the opposite she wouldnt leave town and even bribed me with dinner out just to stay out? funny how quick they change?

I agree with Pam whats an hour its nothing and you can visit on wkends or your daughter comes to you when things get more difficult.

Maybe it depends on the person but i know my mum would never feel comfortable out of this house?

I think maybe ask his doctor?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Grama; it's usually traumatic to move someone with dementia. But that being said, being the person who is probably closer to your daughter's age (I'm 61), when it became clear that even though mom was in a caring place (IL, then AL now NH) someone needed to be close enough by so that one of us could get to the hospital within 10-20 minutes, not the hour or so away that had previously been acceptable. Is your daughter suggesting that both you and her dad move someplace closer to her? Are the medical facilities, etc., better in her community than in yours (that was certainly a consideration in my mom's case). I don't know if you're still in your "home of origin" or in Independent or Assisted Living. Would YOU like to be closer to your daughter so she could be more involved in the day to day caregiving. Hard questions, I know. Do your current friends and neighbors help out? Do you have close ties to your spiritual community? All things to ponder.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If you are in your own home and have been there for many years, stay put. An hour away is what, 60 miles? Close enough! Moving is very hard for both of you, packing is a nightmare. You have friends and neighbors, a social network that should not be shredded.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Often times moving a person with dementia can be harmful or even debilitating. It would totally depend on where the person is in his struggle with the disease. In the latter stages moving a person can cause a very swift downward progression -- even moving the person across town to a care center or to a smaller home can cause a decline. Its very difficult for dementia patients to move out of their comfort zone, as they normally need a regimented routine and surroundings that they recognize. How far along is your husband, approximately what stage is he in? Does he become agitated or anxious when he is away from home, such as when going to a medical appointment? Does he become more agitated the longer he is away from home? Do changes in routine make him anxious? These are the types of questions you need to ask yourself before deciding on a move, and you need to be very truthful with yourself when answering them.

The fact that your daughter lives within an hour of your home is good, its more than most people have. Personally, I believe its very important for someone stricken with dementia to have family close by, but sometimes that's not possible. Does she want you to come to live with her in her home, or would you be living in your own place? If you visit her often, and your husband is comfortable in her home, it might not be as difficult to move; but moving to a completely strange and new environment could create a downward turn.

I know this really doesn't answer your question. You're probably just going to have to make your own judgment as to whether its in the best interests of your husband and whether you believe he can weather the move.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.