I'm having a very hard time trying to find facility for my husband. Any advice?

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My husband has vascular dementia. I am his sole caretaker. He has medicaid. I am trying to find facility for my husband. I have been taking care of him for over a year. I can't do it anymore. Just cant get anyone to help me. He is violent sometimes and I cant handle him. We have an 11 year old son too. Please any advise? Thank you

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My mother was bipolar and refused medication for all the many years she lived with it. Her anger toward my father was incessant. Her anger toward me was strong also. She saw me as his daughter, not hers, because I wouldn't agree with her nor would I treat him as she did. I was her primary caregiver foe her last five months before she passed, after several years of alternate weekends of respite care when I worked out of state.

The visiting nurse offered Excelon patches, and they worked so well my mother became gentle and enjoyable, but still with a bit of an edge toward my father if he came into her sight or if he was mentioned.

Excelon is used primarily for patients with Parkinson's, but they worked miracles for her bipolar, too. Her final months were in stark contrast to the last few decades of her life.
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Wow. Thanks for the advice
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Very often it is the way the family members act. If the patient is nasty, the wife and child get nasty back at them and the whole thing escalates into a brawl.
First you medicate the nasty patient. Then you teach the family how to redirect the conversation or get up and leave if they can't. My SIL actually needed BP meds to be able to stay calm when mom got nasty.
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I would be concerned with him being in the home with a child if he is violent. I might discuss it with his doctor and his case worker. Explain that it's not safe. They should take action to help you. The doctor will need to sign off that he needs care in a facility.

Ask them to help find placement. When I looked for my cousin, I researched Memory Care facilities, called them and asked if they accepted Medicaid, if they had an opening, went to tour and met with the director.

Have you video taped his behavior so the doctor can see what is happening? His condition could be fluctuating and when he's in the hospital he improves, but eventually relapses.

Is he taking the same medication when at home as he is in the hospital? Any chance he's tossing his meds at home?
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Well if he is fine when he is not with you, then ask yourself what triggers his outbursts? A good counselor could help you find the answers. Sometimes it is just changing the way you interact. Sometimes it is medication for menopause that decrease anxiety.
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I did this. He was in geriatric psych ward for a week. They sent him back home to me!
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When he is violent, you call 911 and let them take him to a hospital for the 72 hour psych evaluation. You get court to order him into a facility.
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