How can a very hard of hearing person stay social in activities?

JoAnn: Has your husband considered getting cochlear implants? I know a gentleman who is profoundly deaf and has cochlear implants.

I know one woman who keeps both aides in a drawer. They don't work and she never went back to the audiologist. For me, putting on my one aide is akin to a person putting on their prosthetic limb. Can you imagine the embarrassment of a person when asked, e.g. by a waiter "do you want a glass of wine?" and they respond "no, I would like it medium well."

Thank you. Dad doesn't see well and also has Dementia. He only likes to go to his old cafe for lunch, and maybe a 5 minute drive. He's 97. I can walk with him but he has a walker now. Not much left. It's sad. Each time I see him it's like he's there in diminishing percentages.

Hearing difficulties can be a burden for people who are hearing impaired in social situations but there are plenty of activities available that you can look into. Take a look at the article below about the many fun activities for all hearing levels.

When I have a hard time "educating" people about hearing loss, I often resort to saying what they SOUNDED like to me, and the more absurd the better. And I make sure to smile and laugh. THEN I can tell them I have hearing aids but they don't make my hearing normal, and you need to repeat just the words I didn't get, and you can be a little louder (SO often people are thinking hey, let's whisper because of HIPAA concerns - and I just have to say - "Oh - I am hard of hearing and not getting that at all - lets go where you can say that at normal volume") Also - when your aids are set to amplify in front of you rather than surround, as they should be for a noisy environment, let them know about that so they can come tap your shoulder (tell them that's OK to do) and cheerfully lament the fact that they don't make T-shirts saying "I'm not ignoring you, I'm just deaf." I am pretty sure at least a few people decided I must be a rude person, but I have found out that more recently my friends who know me have actually had my back and told frustrated folks I may simply not have heard them. So, it's important that people know you are not sensitive about or trying to hide a hearing loss, as well as teaching them how to deal with it. You would be surprised you really have to do both - I've had people expect me to understand a whisper even when they have just WATCHED me put in my hearing aids. Another strategy is to use informal oral interpreting - if I can't get what a small, soft-spoken patient is saying, I tell them I have a hearing problem so let me get your [significant other] to say that a bit louder for me" and socially I can usually get hubby to do that for me, except when he was not listening :-) I am also considering saying "I'm homozygous for that French mutation in the GJB1 gene, so I've got a late-onset sensory-neural hearing loss" just so people realize quickly that I'm hard of hearing, not stupid. Then when they look dumbfounded, I'll translate it - "That means just talk louder, and right into my ear, OK?" You would not believe how many people, when you turn your ear to them, MOVE so they can stay in eye contact...grrr...but an understandable mistake. Again. laugh, smile, wave your hand, cup it, say "No, no, no, talk to the EAR!"

The main thing is that you get the best aides for your loss, wear them, and absolutely OWN the problem - no yelling at people for mumbling, and don't make them feel bad for not knowing how to communicate better with a hard of hearing person. You say, "I'm just not getting that - how about spelling it?" instead of "for the last time, speak up, dammit!" and keep your sense of humor sharp. You get the idea.

@MidKid - The old rule was that aids did not help SNHL but that WAS from about 25 years ago when they pretty much just amplified - newer versions can actually select for the frequencies you need amplified and leave the rest at their natural level. Even now, on my second set of hearing aids - the current ones are a little less expensive and a LOT more effective than my first ones that I had for about 7-8 years.

SnoCat--
Can you take this device with you or are you using this only at home? My husband's hearing loss is driving me (and the family) insane. I found I was literally shouting at my daughter last week when we were visiting her--she asked why I was talking so loudly and I realize that I have had to so this to compensate for my husband's hearing loss. He refuses to address it and says it's "my problem" and that I "mumble". Well, I don't. I actually have great diction, and I do NOT mumble. His mother has lost her hearing, his sister is losing hers too. I can't believe that there is NOTHING that can help him. (Had his hearing tested once, 25 years ago and the audiologist said they couldn't help him).

We invested in hearing aids that have a 2-year warranty and we can stop in anytime to get them cleaned and adjusted. Sometimes that means he has to re-run the programming because Dad's hearing has changed. High pitched voices are more difficult to hear and fast talkers are more difficult. We try to set expectations at the beginning of every conversation by telling people to speak more slowly, not necessarily louder. I'm diligent about changing batteries. Sometimes we get a bum batch that doesn't last as long. Hearing aid provider also provides free batteries. Most important thing is to remind people to face Dad when talking. When he doesn't have his aids in or if they don't do the trick (possible wax build up in ears), I lean in toward his ear and speak softly. Like the idea of a writing pad or small white board as a backup.

One other thought. I added a rider to my parents' renters insurance policy to cover my mother's hearing aids. It cost less than $50 a year, but the aids are covered 100 percent. While we haven't had to use it yet, it's good to know that I won't have to cover the expense of replacing them should they ever get lost or damaged.

Ayamesan: I completely understand how difficult it is for you to hear in a crowd. I am 68 years of age and have worn 1 aide for 10 years. I find it difficult to absorb conversations in, say, church audiotoriums. Perhaps your audiologist change adjust your aides. Are they digital?

Hi Ayamesan!
I have some news you may be interested in. I am a caregiver and profoundly deaf. Hearing aids do not help and are costly. I recently stumbled upon a new type of hearing device while looking for a loud phone for my Mom.
Its called an amplifier by Soundworld solutions. This little device is nothing short of amazing! The first time I wore it I was stunned at the things I could hear, but never did with hearing aids. And trust me I have a drawer full of them, all makes and models.
It does not take batteries, you simply plug it into the charger and walk away.
The battery life is about 18 hours give or take. It can be used as a Bluetooth device for your phone or any Bluetooth media device.
You can also program it with a smartphone or your computer, to your exact specifications. It also comes with three presets. The one for restaurants is awesome. It was so nice to go to dinner and hear the person across the table again.
And the real beauty of it is it is less than $500.00 bucks! Plus you can try it for 45 days to see if it's for you. If not send it back and get a full refund.
I absolutely love this device, it has opened up the world again for me.
I do understand what your going thru, it's not easy. I remember always having to say, "Let put my glasses on so I can see what your saying". But those days are gone now due to this wonderful device.
Note: There are two models one that looks like a Bluetooth phone you wear on your ear and the other looks like a hearing aid, which is the one I got due it was more powerful. My favorite thing is I forget I'm wearing it because it's so comfortable. If you want more info drop me a line Id be happy to help you.
Or just look up Soundworld solutions on the Internet and see for yourself.
Take care, your not alone.
God Bless

My husband has been hard of hearing since 3. He is a shy person to begin with. Children can be cruel. Also, I think his Mom was in denial. He kept to himself. If asked he will go with me so I pick and choose. He actually gets headaches trying to hear what people are saying.

My husband wears two hearing aids, can't smell, has glaucoma, chokes a lot every day and has Parkinson's. He also has some dementia. He LOVES to be with people and he enjoys listening even though he may not hear it all. He rarely talks to anyone. Yet he is very social. He never complains to others that he can't hear. Even when I am right beside him he sometimes can't hear. He seems to be content with what he is doing and who he is with. He is a remarkable person, easy to care for as I am his only companion and I do get him out and about as much as is possible. This disease is as hard or harder on me than him!
I think even deaf people like the company of others.
Take your person out and about when you can.

As a person who has lived with a man for 34 years with hearing problems, just because a person wears hearing aides doesn't mean they hear. My husband has nerve and bone damage and with hearing aides does not hear clearly. He describes it as static on a radio that you turn the volume up hoping maybe you can pick out the words. The digitals done work well for him. Finally found one close to analog. Its very hard for him in social situations. He does better on one to one and u have to be on his good side or looking at him. We try to stay away from loud places. You need to tell people you have a hearing problem.

if you ask me , i think some people are just plain right out DUMB as He$% , believe me , block off your hearing , or , plug your ears for one week , lol , you will see people in a different way , body language

Got this from a brochure in the hearing doctors office - don't speak louder it can make the sounds in the hearing aid reverberate and harder to interpret. Try speaking with a lower pitch and a little slower, enunciating words more clearly. It works when I'm instructing in Wii bowling in this senior living establishment.

Having spent many years as a professional drummer,15 yrs serving in an Armored Tank Battalion and the result of the aging process, I/we decided it was time to investigate the possibility that my hearing was compromised.

Lets be honest, my family (4 adult couples and 13 Grand kids) grew tired and irritated of repeating themselves.
My stepson and wife said one day "Pa Pa we think you have a hearing problem" and I briskly replied " WHAT" and they continued, "go pick one out and send us the bill " I heard the second part of the statement and began my search for a solution

I found after an in-depth study to include numerous appointments and examinations you need to shop around and conduct a great deal of research to determine the best solution for you. In addition, to insure you are getting the best VALUE

Mom and Pop vendors, professional "appearing" boutiques (white coats etc.) Buyer Beware

You need to approach the buying decision intelligently. Do your research on line, magazines, trade shows, in person etc. Determine your price range and hearing parameters and begin to compare.

Don't be timid. It is very easy to be impressed by the process and be oversold in the end.

Example: In one product line, two models are offered with same features different pricing. Some vendors charge for fitting appointments. Warranties are different. Ongoing adjusts, which are necessary, can be free or fee paid.

Make yourself a chart covering the major items: manufacturers, features and vendors then you can compare them competitively. Let the final two winners win your business..........Its your money.

My set of two (one in each ear) cost $3,000 were purchased at a major wholesale outlet, appointments free, adjustments free.........

Be patient, the get acquainted period with the new device can be time consuming and frustrating but rewarding.

I can actually hear the kitchen faucet left running when I leave the room Think of the money I saved on my water bill, and don't forget all my happy relatives.

Dad is 90. Has very little hearing, if any. He forgets to wear the hearing aids he has, dementia. I think he got tired of telling people he was deaf and so did Mom. So they stay together and often sit off by themselves, using their own language! Dad lip read for 50-60 years, but I am not so sure he even does that anymore!! I do think a little sign on him that said he was hard of hearing just might help for those around him who also forget that he can not hear. AL! I just look directly at him and smile big. Speak slowly and enunciate properly and talk with my hands (not sign language) and he usually understands just fine. If nothing else, he know I love him!

As someone with major hearing loss I understand your frustration. I've worn hearing aids for years. There are many different brands out there so check them out carefully to determine which ones would best fit your life style. Mine have 4 different settings that allow me to adjust them for different environments. If you have fairly new hearing aids work with your audiologist for the best adjustment. Remember that hearing aids are NOT a buy once investment but should be replaced about every 5 years due to earring changes. I would also suggest checking out some of the personal hearing amplifiers for use in larger groups, some of these can help somewhat.
With that said, I used to hide my hearing impairment, now I tell people or remind them. If people start talking and I can't hear them, I interrupt them and tell them so. I do try to keep conversations to small groups but there are still many activities in which you can participate. I wish you the best.

I have hearing loss also and have bought the most expensive up-to-date hearing aids
which help some but mostly just increase the volume of all the noise in the local area.
It is very difficult to hear when there is a lot of background noise or talking. When speaking to someone with hearing problems don't speak with back turned while walking away or say again at the same level. Face the person enunciate your word slowly and clearly. It doesn't have to be shouted. We hate to be excluded out of conversation and would appreciate your thoughtfulness to make it easier for us to feel included.

I lost all hearing in my left ear due to a brain tumor. So, I have only had 40% hearing since then. About two years ago, my good ear has gotten tired. I have the Phonac hearing aid. The State of Texas paid for my blue tooth adaptor that I use for watching TV. when I go to the movies, I use the microphone which I clip onto my clothing and the neck loop.

Since I only have one-sided hearing, I have to place myself at the table where I can hear the whole conversation. I find that I just tell people right off the bat that I am hard of hearing. I do not enjoy large family gatherings. So, I just basically sit down and wait for people to come and talk to me one on one.

I am going to take a lip reading course to help me understand better. Hang in there!

I do not know how serious your hearing loss is, but I am putting this out there in the hope of helping anyone who has profound deafness that there are certainly options. I was born deaf, totally deaf left ear and right ear had some. Over the years this hearing deteriorated and eventually, I was in trouble. By pure chance, I found out that I could be eligible for a cochlear implant. Huge success, 8 years have passed and I have to have a second implant, which will enable me to hear around 98%. What I need to point out here, is that I had been totally deaf in my left ear for 42 years and is was a gamble as to whether it would work.....boy when switch on happened, I heard things I had never ever heard b4, birds, fridge noise, what wonders I experienced. I also was asked to attend a university to give a lecture on the implant, to the new wave of audiologist coming on stream. Reason for this! Most hearing clinics concentrate on hearing aids, but they never advise clients that there is an implant option available!!! Please ask &I ask until you get all the answers. I'm from Australia, and I have medical insurance, plus government Medicare, due to this I am able to be covered for the operations and implant, which is around $45,000.00 Australian. I hope this helps, there is a solution for anyone willing to investigate. Good luck. Victoria

If someone can still see ok you can try a small white board found in the dollar store or drug stores. Just remember not to use a permanent marker on it like I did! Give the person time to process things too. Not only may they be deaf or hearing impaired but by then the brain slows down as well.

I have learned to simply be with a person if they are ok with this is fine too. Don't have to talk all the time. Dad can't process much anyways anymore. Just sit, take him for a walk, and try to look happy about it. He smiles back or seems content.
Ugh. It's tough stuff no matter how you do it.
Have you tried a caption phone? It's a screen attached to your landline phone. When someone calls it types out what they say.
Also, brother tried using his ipad: talk into the ipad what he wanted to say to Dad. Ipad wrote it out. Dad read it and responded.
This is the expensive and faster version of the white board.
So sorry for people losing hearing. The positive thing I could imagine about it: enjoy the sweet, sweet sound of silence and go within more. OMMMmmm

The capabilities of different brands of hearing aids are remarkable. I have Phonak ones and the Bluetooth enhancement GrandmaLynn mentioned is an option. I got them at a medical facility where they are tuned periodically by an audiologist working on a computer. She says they used to tune them with a screwdriver. There is a wide range of technology out there. Some just turn up the volume. Others can be adjusted to respond more to specific frequencies.

My mom has one in each ear. Hearing aids are expensive, especially the ones that work well. I don't know what kind you have, but maybe you can check out some alternatives. I think insurance pays for part anyway. Good luck.

I am slightly hard of hearing but have most difficulty on the phone. Amplification distorts sound and makes it even harder. The people I have the most trouble hearing are those who don't enunciate well and talk very fast; I get completely lost. So...those who are talking to someone hard of hearing should also slow down and articulate well. I keep asking and asking to no avail, and it is very frustrating.

Have you tried Zounds rechargeable hearing aids? They are based in AZ, but have offices in many states. If you cannot get your aids reprogrammed, then when you are in social settings, ask the people whom you cannot hear to speak louder. The most difficult part of having loss of hearing is with the people around you who have to learn how to shout. Try to help out others as much as possible. Remember aids only help certain hearing loss.

hearing aids are only good in quite area's ,

well , none of the above .. lol ,, it depends on the amount of hearing loss , such as .. there r different types of hearing loss , , it depends on what db you r and what your hearing has been tested at , and also , a word recognition score , here is a link ! i am hard of hearing , my dad was hard of hearing , you have to know how to communicate with some one with a hearing problem , , some people think that it is a bother , and some know just what to do , i can write the book on it , an older person with hearing problem can put someone on their hate list quick , ....believe me , if i ask once what you said , and i say i am hard of hearing , or , i say i can't hear to good , and . you continue to speak at the same level ,,, "We are through ! good luck ! .. hearinghealthfoundation/index.php?pg=learning-about-hearing-loss&gclid=CjwKEAjw4s2wBRDSnr2jwZenlkgSJABvFcwQlyJlpp4dWwzal4F2EXaUSCF4UKh082IrZiiMo2RZnxoCtWzw_wcB

You sound very motivated to adapt and try new things which is half the battle! You might try to get some ideas through the Hearing Loss Association of America, their site looks very helpful.

Helpful answers! I've never heard of the blue tooth connections but that is remarkable.

It's hard for many people who have hearing loss, with or without hearing aids, to enjoy large crowds or any event that has a lot of background noise. Yes, hearing aids are getting better but from the people I've talked with, I've gotten the impression that there is still a long way to go.

Keep watching this thread for more tips, ayamesan. There are amazingly creative people here.

Take care,
Carol