She wanted to be home and has very much resisted hospice and palliative care and has ensured that there are orders to resuscitate should she need it. She is definitely a survivor and has a very strong will to live which I admire and am glad to see. Due to the unfolding of events with several falls and life-threatening blood-clots in the shadow of a pancreatic cancer dx w/in the last month, she has been hospitalized and recently transferred to rehab in a nursing facility to walk again after the blood-clot intervention (filter), and she has a naive hope that she will return home again when she, in reality, has worsening incontinence, limited mobility and refusal to eat much. I understand the anger and frustration but, as a granddaughter, am having a hard time dealing with the arrows she is slinging at us implying that we are 'never there,' when, due to distance and busy schedules/raising families/jobs, we do the best we can to drive to see her when we can and we all call her regularly. I feel some of her anger is mis-placed, but I also have so many positive memories of her that date all the way back to child-hood. She has been a major 'constant' presence in my life. She has also been a grandmother to my and my siblings children, more so than our own mother. I am really distressed to see her mentally/emotionally in such an angry place with relation to all of us who are her family and would like to find some sort of peace with her while she is still alive. She keeps telling everyone that she does not want us to visit. I'm not sure how to proceed from here on out. It is heartbreaking and upsetting. She will be very missed but I'm also concerned that I'm taking things too personally when she is the one facing death. Everyone in our family has been there as much as possible since her diagnosis because they care and they love her. She has been increasingly cynical and has implied that money is the reason which is like a slap in the face. I have told her to take her money and get the best care she can possibly get where she wants it. It is almost as if she needs to believe the worst of us when, over the years, we have all generally been close. Any advice would be greatly appreciated in terms of how to move forward with her. I hesitate to call because she says she's busy and she quickly disconnects the phone. She proactively calls those who she knows are coming to visit to tell them not to visit. I feel she is in survivor mode and we may be reminders of her situation/her diagnosis her prognosis. This is not how I imagined her life to come to an end. We all remember her as very affectionate and loving and caring over the years. I'm wondering if we're now seeing how she truly has felt about us. It almost feels like our relationship with her has been a farce. I don't like knowing that my grandmother will pass on with this much animosity toward her children and grandchildren and what we can do at this point to provide some sort of peace.