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I'm trying to do my best to keep mum happy, but she seems to be critical of almost everything - even really petty things. Here are some examples... 1. We buy a new clothes dryer instead and mum cribs that the old clothes line was better. 2. We plan to have a guest over for a meal and they are not available for dinner so we call them over for lunch instead, and mum pulls a long face because she preferred to have them over for dinner instead. 3. We decide to do a bit of renovations around the house and mum cribs because my husband and I have decided to take it up as DIY project (for stress relief) and she prefers that we call in a professional (which obviously irritates my husband because he feels his ability to do stuff is being questioned). 4. I try to bake healthy food for the entire family, and mum cribs that I may have added something that she can't eat (she has IBS) and she goes ahead and cooks something different for herself. But this is not the case when 1. We surprise mum with new gadgets. 2. I bake something specifically for her. 3. We do something that she wants. Mum is in her 70s and I understand that many older people are hard to deal with, but this is getting a bit too much. I've not been married even a year and I feel sandwiched between my husband and my mother. My husband is quite understanding, but there are times I feel it's so unfair to him. I try to give mum time and talk to her as much as possible so that she doesn't feel neglected, but when I'm working or talking to my husband, she sits and sulks after a while. And I feel i'm walking on eggshells at times because if I am a bit firm with her, she goes into her shell and starts sulking, giving me monosyllabic answers and pulls a depressed face. It's easier for me to shut up and let her get her way (though I know that's unhealthy) than be affected by her tantrums. I'm not too sure how to handle this because she's lost her hearing and hears half-information - so if she misunderstands what I tell her, she's just going to sulk, feel she's being mistreated and I won't get a chance to even set things right. Any suggestions on how to handle her without upsetting her or myself?

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Maybe your mom should be in senior living so she can bond with others her age. You are young and newly married - you and your husband need to begin building your lives together.
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I wish that were possible. But we don't really have senior living where we live. Or rather, the ones that exist are more of homes for abandoned seniors.
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