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There's no explaining my mother. She's quite complicated, but If you met her you'd never forget her and everyone who meets her loves her. It's just that she has a big personality that requires lots of attention and it's not always great being her daughter although in her day she would do anything she could for me or anyone. She's volunteered all her life from church to being an ombudsman for the Sacramento area. I could write a book about her!
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Remind her that the new dog would probably outlive her and that would be so sad and unfair to the dog. Appeal to the emotion of that.
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Cockatoos often live 50-70 years in captivity. I thought about getting an umbrella cockatoo when one was offered to me. Then I heard their calls and read about the dust they generate and decided it was not a good match for me. They can also be aggressive to pets like rabbits when they're in a mood. I do love the cockatoos, though. They bond so closely to humans. If the bird is bonded to your mother, please find a facility that will accept the cockatoo. The idea of a grieving cockatoo is sad, though I know it will probably face grief eventually. I am surprised your mother would get lonely if she and her bird are bonded. I've known people with cockatoos and the bond is strong.
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That's exactly what happened, JessieBelle, with her last dog. She wasn't exactly that old but she was ill and my mother could not afford the expensive treatments and medication needed and I had no idea how grave the situation was for the dog until it was too late. I was at work when my mother called crying and blurted out that she had to have her dog put down. My mother does most everything compulsively and tends not to think things through. She's a handful, that's fir sure. I have a dog if my own that is 19 years old. I have no idea how long she has but I'm trying to enjoy the time I have left with her. The vet says she's in great health, though. She still has all of her teeth which I attribute to having her teeth cleaned once a month by a canine dental hygienist and consequently her heart is very strong. Expensive, though!
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Just went to the Perfectpetzzz site. Cute. I watched the video, though, and wasn't so impressed. Still, the price is good for a cute stuffed animal.
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The bird is in her 20's, I'd say at least 25. She's had to move several times and is very adaptable but I get what you say about resident restrictions. I may have to take the bird. I have no idea how long Cockatoos live. She's also a very sweet bird.
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I agree that she shouldn't have a dog. She isn't able to take good care of it with her physical limitations. A dog would provide companionship, but it wouldn't be fair for the dog. I also feel that anyone getting a pet should have at least $2K saved for its care. Vet bills can be very expensive if a pet becomes ill or gets hurt. Many people who don't have enough money will opt to have an animal euthanized because they can't afford to pay for its care. Your mother doesn't sound like she is financially (or physically) able to provide good care. The Perfectpetzzz sounds like an ideal option -- no care and no vet bills.
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Depending where she will be living and what type of bird it is, you might have to find a new home for the bird or take on the bird. Large birds like macaws and parrots can be extremely noisy and even small birds aren't necessarily welcome in some apartments/assisted living/etc... In fact, some places won't even allow goldfish, figuring that, if the tank breaks, it could mean damage.

And, by the way, birds hate change. A bird that is forced into a new home won't necessarily adapt. They tend to be much less adaptable than dogs and cats, so you already might have this as a problem, to begin with.
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Thank you for the last two postings, I will check out that website. I know it's not fair to the dog, either, and I've said as much but it falls on deaf ears.
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Perfectpetzzz is a website. Not sure why the link didn't post correctly.
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As an avid animal lover, DO NOT LET HER GET A DOG! If she gets one, take it right back to where she bought it and get her money back. It's NOT FAIR to the dog to put it in the situation you describe. The perfect pet that Sunnygirl describes sounds great. If she has a bird and takes care of that, it should be enough.
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LaureenW,
I realize this kind of thing can be difficult. My cousin loved her cat more than anything. It took awhile before I realized it was dementia progressing in her. She became obsessed with the cat. She lived and breathed for the cat. She could not stand for the cat to wander from her sight for even a second. It was painful to watch. She had no real concept of what it really entailed to care for a cat. After she went into assisted living, I had to return the cat to the no kill rescue that she adopted it from years ago. The cat was much happier, since her dementia was making the cat stress out.

I will also suggest an idea I had for my cousin. It didn't work for her, but it might work with your mom. It's called Perfect Pets. They are life-like pets that sleep and actually move as if they are breathing. Some even snore a little. They come with a little bed and are very life like. My cousin was too attached to her real cat to have much interest in the pet I bought for her, but I would imagine they would be a big hit with others.

perfectpetzzz

I will warn you that they do make a little noise and at night it might bother you if you're in the same room.
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Wow, these are all good suggestions, which I will use. I've been dealing with my moms strong will for many years so I don't think it's dementia but rather a bit of narcissistic personality behavior. I've played the bad guy on many an occasion, I just needed the support, and I got it! Thank you all so much!
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dont expect such an avid animal lover to respond to any kind of reasoning . youll have a mental meltdown and at the end of a 2 hour conversation the last words will be " i luv muh dawg " . ive read plenty about this problem . it stems from various degrees of mental illness . be the bad guy and let them hate you . it isnt right for you to take on the annoyance , responsibility and headache when you no doubt already have a complicated enough life already . my renter to this day occasionally gets bold and attacks me from a new angle to get her dogs back out here . id prefer she go on to lose the remainder of her mind than to lose mine . no . fkin dogs .. i take the battery out of my ticking alarm clock except just on the occasional mornings that i need it . i want peace and im going to have it .
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If it's too much responsibility at this point, and your mother doesn't have dementia (so maybe it's possible for her to understand), then tell her once, FIRMLY, that the discussion is CLOSED, that she will not be getting another dog. And that's it. If she tries to argue, LEAVE the room or hang up the phone. Do not go there anymore. It feels rude and disrespectful to do this, but you have to do it.
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It sounds like she's not equipped to handle a dog. Who would walk it? Who will care for it, if she can no longer keep it. It sounds like your mom is just not thinking clearly. She may never accept that she's not suited to be a dog owner right now.

What if you had someone who has a dog come by and visit once per week so she could pet and love on that dog? I've read about individuals who bring their dogs to the nursing homes to visit with the residents. Even if you have to pay for the service, it might be worth it.

I've also read about companies that rent pets for the day or weekend. It's not the best idea, but it might keep her happy until you can make arrangements for her living situation.

I've read that some Assisted Living facilities have in house cats who live there, so all the residents can enjoy their company. Would she agree to that? It might entice her to go if the place already has pets.

I would treat her insistence of getting a pet as poor judgment and not allow it. No matter how strong willed she is. No agency would allow her to adopt and most breeders would hesitate too, due to her situation, age and health.
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You didn't write on your profile whether you mom had dementia. If she does not have dementia and is just stuck on this dog thing, much like a child would be, tell her that you cannot take care of a dog and if she brings a dog home you will have to take it right back. Acknowledge her loneliness but stand firm on the dog issue. If your mom is going to act like a child, begging you for a dog despite the reasonable reasons why she should not have a dog, then treat her like a child in warning her that you will return a dog if one shows up at your mom's house. And if a dog shows up at mom's house take it to the humane society.
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