This is not the first time this has happened, she now is not speaking to me and my dad. I do everything for them. I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She gives him to many chores I guess you can call them, and I tell her tell him one thing at a time. When he completes the task, then if needed, she can give him another. She is constantly yelling at him or I, I just don't know what to do. My heart hurts not for me, but for my dad, there is no reason at all the tell my father, the greatest man on earth, to shut up, because there is gonna come that day where she won't hear is voice. She has admitted to me she will not accept the disease, that is what I was trying to talk to her when all this shut up started and not talking to dad and I. Can anyone help me? TwinLaura
I brought her in with me (alone) and she lived 2 1/2 yrs after her operation.
I guess I'm saying trust your instincts. Being a med assistant you are probably wiser than the average bear to begin with; Don't take what they say to heart. Their minds are not clear and if they are in pain - that's enough to make anyone cranky. I'll be thinking about you - take care and I pray things get better for all of you.
Is Mom pretty good cognitively? If she has no dementia herself, who might she listen to, better than she listens to a daughter? Dad's doctor? A clergy person? A good friend? A relative in her age bracket? The best solution would be to convince her that Dad cannot help his behavior, and she needs to adapt her interactions with him accordingly.
If she has dementia too, or if she firmly resists changing her behavior, then figuring out a way to reduce the amount of interaction she has with him is probably the next best approach.
I wish you all the best in protecting your dad.
Does your mom also have Alzheimer disease? I ask because it is common for Alzheimer's patients to become aggressive and abusive as the disease grows within them.
What more can you tell us about your situation? Are you working outside of home, do you have your own family? Are you able to get your Dad in a memory unit? How is Mom disabled and what is she actually able to do on her own? You will get a lot of great ideas and help here. Welcome, and take a deep breath!