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My mom has been in a nursing home for over 4 years. It has been heartbreaking, sad and depressing at best. She has dementia so everything is so hard. Lately she has starting crying every morning and doesn't want to get out of bed. She doesn't sleep well and I'm sure that is why. But the staff tries to wake her and give her breakfast and she always cries and begs them to leave her alone. What can I do? I'm so sad.

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Glad - I decided not to tell my mom about anybody's death if she seems like she doesn't know. She asks about her parents a lot. Sometimes she thinks she's a small child and expects them to come. Sometimes she knows she's an adult, but doesn't remember they died in the early 1990s.

I just say something vanilla and comforting - Grandma says she loves you and wants you to do what the nurses say. So far.....so good.

Mom asked recently if her parents were still together. (They are - in the graveyard!) I said yes, they are still together just like always. Fortunately, that was enough and she moved on to the cats she hears in the walls and accusing everyone of breaking her legs. Sheesh.
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I would definitely ask for an antidepressant at bedtime. Help her get a good night's rest so she can function in the AM.
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Ask for a consult with the psychiatric nurse. A memory care (dementia only) unit may be more appropriate. My mother is in a secure memory care unit and staff there are trained to expect and deal with the peculiarities of dementia above & beyond the other problems caused by age.

Her brain is changing and the crying is an outward sign.

My mother is extremely difficult in the morning. It takes two people several hours to get her to just sit up and take her meds. It takes several more hours to get her out of the bed, into fresh underpants, clothes, and a meal. The staff have a procedure to follow. Announce their name and what they are there to do. If she won't, they exit and re-approach 3 times. After that a supervisor will come in with the person to help get mom going. They will do 2-3 person assists and use a lift to get her up and into the day.

My mom has trouble with night to day and day to night transition and it's part of the dementia effects.

I would definitely ask for a care conference and talk about a psychiatric evaluation for this.
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My Mom often gets upset when she asks about her parents because when told of their deaths she thinks this is the forst time ahe has heard it. Antidepressants are not an option, mom was taken off of them abou niine months ago with no adverse effects. An antidepressant will not help her to umderstand reality as hers is tornes upsiade won and inside out.

What Nora do you think she may be getting upset about?
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Nora please don't feel guilty. Could an antidepressant help your Mom? I suffer from depression and mornings are always the worse time of day for me too.

You could suggest it to the staff there and depending on what other medications your mom is on a mild antidepressant might help her.
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Thank you JessieBelle. We keep visiting and trying to ask the nursing home aides to please let her sleep in the morning. We are going again tomorrow to plead with them. Seems they have a schedule and won't bend their rules. It's awful. My mom still knows us and can be very sweet. It's sad to me that the nursing home can't/wont just make small adjustments for her, such as bring a late breakfast. They won't do it. One more reason I feel guilty for not being able to care for my mom.
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This is sad. I don't know if there is any way to make it better. The only things we can do are visit and let them know we care in little ways. Morning is the worst time for some people with dementia. Is she still able to remember her children and other people? If she has good mental abilities left, I wonder if it would do any good to talk with her doctor about her morning sadness. He/she may have some ideas.
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