How do you handle false story telling in social situations?

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When my MIL (Alzheimers) gets a visitor, she acts "semi-normal" - I think it's called showtiming. But at the same time she spouts total untruths. I want to be respectful but she is absolutely "off the wall wrong." I struggle to follow-up privately later in order to explain the truth to these people. It is exhausting but she can "fake it" quite well and these people are left wondering if there is truth is her absurdities. I take it personally and I am so tired of following her around and repairing her "messes." I can't even imagine what she says when I leave her for an hour or two. There's no way for me to defend straighten anything out.
Does anyone here struggle with this?

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Sometimes it is a mix between personality and dementia. If you know she had some type of personality problem or disorder before the dementia, it isn't going to go away. My mother is still the same self-centered, dependent person as she used to be, only now her personality is overlaid with age problems and dementia.
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What do you do though, when the "confabulated" tales are hurtful and tear a family apart? My mother has told me so many stories that at first I'm shocked because she tells them with so much conviction that you think she's telling the truth and makes you second guess yourself. But when I stop to think about all the stories, I know they are completely fabricated. My mom seems to be alienating everyone in the family but her children. She's hateful and mean sometimes, sometimes nice and easy to get along with. We can't have meaningful conversations with her though because she gets facts mixed up and then will call us on the phone about it for the next two weeks. What the heck? Is this dementia or a personality disorder?
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You let them run with the story. Philadelphia Enquirer does the same thing, but then they print it and circulate it. Anyone with common sense will get some humor out of it. Social workers on the other hand, take it as factual.
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Well, when you think about it, didn't we all learn about our friends and classmates making up stories or stretching the truth back when we were in high school... I don't think it ever stops, it just gets worse.

My Dad can get stories a bit turned around, and I use to try to correct him.... how I wonder if it is really worth correcting, especially if the story isn't hurting anyone. I am sure elder care Case Workers are very familiar with this, and take any thing an elder says with a grain of salt.... unless it is nursing home treatment and others in same home are saying the same thing.

Sometimes I think the story telling starts because their current life is so boring with nothing new and exciting happening, thus the exaggerations to help spice up the story to get attention.
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My companion, whose mother died in a nursing home some years ago, now is telling his mother died in a terrible car wreck and when the car was hit her body went right over top of his..he also thinks someone is always taking his money (which he hides it and we cannot find it sometimes), accuses people of coming into the house and stealing or having a party. Also said his son stole the business from him and he sends him no money, (which he does). He does get very defensive and does not like for me to try and explain things.. He has gone from a very sweet mild manner man to one that is a complete stranger. Very hard to cope and deal, I never realized what caregivers went through
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I do a lot of shrugging my shoulders and the "hairy eyeball". You know the "what you talking about Arnold"..

I really don't have to explain her stories to family because they don't call or visit!! I wonder if they did come and Mom started saying I was taking her money or harming her if they would even care?
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When I first told my MIL sister "you can't depend of anything she tells you as being reality," she was upset I would say such a thing. But subsequently she found out it is true. I think in time most folks catch on. The stories start to change and people figure it out. You might clue them to be aware of inconsistencies because sometimes Mom gets her stories mixed up. They are real in her mind. Like having a dream and thinking it's real. Welcome to the twilight zone.
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Marialake, I'm the kind of person who makes a fetish of the truth. I go around correcting people all the time. Since my DH's memory has become unreliable, I have had to change my ways somewhat. Most of the time, it doesn't matter one little bit that his story is factually inaccurate.

I feel like learning this is making me a better person, less proud and less of a pain in the a.

If she's telling nasty stories about you, that's another thing entirely. What about telling visitors when they arrive that Mom's stories won't be strictly factual. If they hear something upsetting, they should check with you first before calling APS,

Prepped like that, most people will figure out the truth. No good deed goes unpunished. lol.
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OMG, welcome to the world of the big mind bending cluster. I won't bother with the details of my trials, but just as you learn how to fib again, you will also have to learn to just let it go. If it is not creating a group of people with pitch forks and torches gathering outside your house for you, or the police banging on the door to take you to the slammer, faggetabout it. This is what happens, this is what they do. Once you realize it, it won't hurt you like it does now. The showtiming can really make you feel insane, but once again, once you really understand and know what is going on is what happens, it makes it easier for you. Just always cover your butt with anything that could ever compromise your safety, it is ironic that those that take on the huge love of care are the very ones placed in peril from doing it. Love and care but remember you are your own first priority, your mental and physical health is paramount.
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skinonna - Love that! ''Old people lie.'' Sad, but true. Maybe it is because the truth is so boring and their lives are so dismally dull. But some of the tales - especially when they are hurtful and pointed straight at you - can be very hard to take and even harder to explain to others. Many hear these hurtful, snide, demeaning remarks that are designed to destroy your character in their eyes and DON'T KNOW that they are lies.

Let's just say that after overhearing my MIL spend an hour telling one horrid, hateful tale after another to her Social Worker - I no longer feel the need to put her life before my own anymore. I did that for years. It got me nowhere except the bottom of her list. So, I took a two week vacation ALONE and came home to NEW RULES and a New Way of Thinkin'. Things are better for us - she is even happier - but would never, ever admit it.

But the ''Old People Lie'' quote is 100% accurate. If the lies are harmless - it is easier to deal with.
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