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It drives me crazy.
If I say the sky is blue, he will argue that air is clear, and is not blue.
If I call a plastic bag white (it is opague) he will say it is not white, not opague, it is colorless. No wonder plastic bags are banned in so many states, after causing so many arguments. Lol.
He tries to criticize my driving, ridiculing slow drivers like that little old lady ahead, grandma going too slow (I am a grandma). He says, "green is go.."..trying to get me to respond by speeding up to make the green, now yellow light. (He has never driven and never passed the license exam).
Every so often, when he is right about something, (about twice a year),
I compliment him profusely. It gets so that I don't want to be right, because he argues that I am wrong.
As I get older, I ask what day it is, or what time is it, just so that out of 24 hours at least I KNOW what hour it ISN't!
Even though this was said in a 'hope to be humorous' way, it is all too true.
It is living with a cognitively challenged person, be it aspergers, alzheimers, dementia, depression, or a TBI. As well as other challenges.
The result is that I have become hypervigilant for what is the truth, wanting so bad to believe the one I love. And often doubting if my perception of normal or the truth is real.
Tonight, I will be setting the table. The house has been torn up, unorganized, and it has been a fight to just get it put back into place.
By moving the desk into the livingroom, (myself), I can now put the table top over the desk and pretend that is our table! Hubs is still arguing, still resisting, still pouting-he doesn't like any changes-even if it is an improvement back to normal. I was wrong to allow him to take over the house, hoarding things, and just go to my room.
But I can take some of your excellent suggestions above instead of becoming so upset when he wants to argue and never change anything.
I will use my tablecloth too if I can find it!
My dad was getting increasingly grumpy. I thought it was just old age. But he had heart failure. In hindsight, I think he also had vascular dementia. I wish I had done more. Or tried to be more patient.
But if this is only a personality conflict then yes, I would just let her be. I would follow the suggestions of the other posters. At this age there is no changing them. I can't imagine its easy losing your independence and getting to this age as well.