We planned on visiting Mom for her 90th. We were excited that we might go out to eat and have a good time. Everything was planned. When I call her to let her know what is going on she freaks, as she does with any holiday or major occasion. She goes on and on a rant about this and that, meaningless topics from 50 years ago just meant to be abusive. Which she very often is. She "can't do this", whatever "this" is, but she will "drive to a friends house" that day if we come down to visit. Mind you, this is a 5 1/2 hour drive, at best. She has the energy to do that, but she doesn't want to see her son. My 57 year old brother, who is coming off of 14 years of alcohol abuse lives with her and can be verbally abusive to her himself. Her complaint is that my brother makes her too tired to be able to see my wife and I. I want to see what is going on in the home. How to handle this? I am giving it a couple of days to see what happens and then am going to cancel our reservations while we can. On the one hand I am not going to put up with her abuse, on the other hand she is my Mother and I want to make sure she is OK.