I dread this time of year. My mother had two strokes at the age of 65 over five years ago. My sister “opted out”. She flat out left me to take care of mom, saying she did not want any part of caring for her. She even went so far as to suggest we could leave mom in her house post-stroke and that neighbors would eventually call the Department of Social Services and someone from the state would come in to claim mom, making mom a ward of the state. My sister told me that all the headache, heartbreak, and exhaustion of caring for mom would be my fault if I chose to care for her, because I could simply walk away and let the state put her in a nursing home.
This is my challenge: our extended family always has a beautiful Christmas night gathering. I have not been in the last few years because I can’t stand the thought of seeing my sister. My sister doesn't come around all year, but she shows up to the family gatherings and hugs mom, sits close by her and acts lovingly. I know it is a fake act, because she hasn't contributed to mom’s well-being in over 5 years. I feel my sister puts on a show in front of the extended family so that she doesn't have to deal with the fallout if they knew the truth that she is nowhere to be found the other 364 days of the year.
We come from a very docile and religious family – but I swear I want to go “Jerry Springer style” on my sister at one of these gatherings!! I feel like she is such a fraud. Is there any way I can enjoy these family events and be honest with the rest of the family?