My father is in his early 70s. After a hospitalization a few years ago that his doctor says his body has fully recovered from, my father is still extremely frail (cannot walk or shower without assistance). He rarely leaves the house and his inability to walk is largely because he is not using his body, so his muscles are atrophying. He is very angry and is mistreating my mother (which he has been doing for years, as a former alcoholic and prone to angry outbursts even when well, but now it is worse). He is the most pessimistic person I have ever met, again even when healthy.
He seems to be giving up on getting better (and he's not even sick! he's just frail). We all want to support him, but it is hard to know how to do so. I think he is dealing with anxiety and depression, but he believes any mental health issues he might have should be resolved through effort and not medication. So instead, he sits around all day, watching the news and staying angry. My mom does everything for him and is exhausted.
I do not live nearby and have small children and a immobile job, so I cannot move nearby to help out. I feel like we need to stop tiptoeing around him and push him harder about what's going on, but I worry that he would retaliate by being abusive towards my mom (and although he couldn't do anything physically at this point, his words are painful). This is all new to us, so any advice would be appreciated.