How do I handle my aging moms stubbornness?

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Will not take medication, refuses help from caregivers, will not wear life-alert button, etc. She is in assisted living and has congestive heart failure, and her judgment is declining

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Is this "stubbornness" a sudden change in mental status? If so, call her doctor; she may have a UTI, which in the elderly can cause these kinds of behavioral issues.

Sudden changes in mental status should always be reported to her MD. Sometimes meds for agitation ease these transitions.
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I'd discuss her behavior with the AL. Do they feel that they can provide the level of care that she needs? If not, then, I'd explore what she does need. 

Is she mentally competent? If so, it's her decision if she continues to take her medication. The same goes for wearing the Life Alert button.

If she's failing cognitively, then staff who are trained to work with dementia patients would likely be able to support her better than in a regular AL, since resistance to care is not uncommon in those patients.
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