Hair style advice needed.

I get my hair cut in a short a line bob that requires no care. It will be 3 to 4 months between haircuts, but no ones ever intimated I look mannish.

Hello:
A perm may be harmful, ie chemical too strong, causing the hair to stop growing. Happened to my Mom.
Some elder cares even have beauty parlors on site.
Think a stylist would have the best advice and reco on how to cut.

Just commenting in Taarna's post. When it comes to how our LOs hair looks, its because of the aides. They do not have time to style a residents hair so forget about mousse and jels. Like I said in my post, the aides would not even use the brush I provided. You don't have the same aide every day. I did have one aide who tried but Moms hair was just too soft. My GF worked in Moms AL. She would take Mom and use a curling iron on her. She would look nice until the next day when the aides showered Mom and got her hair wet.

Have you asked if Moms hairdresser can use the facilities. The NH Mom was in allowed my friend to come in and do her clients when the regular hairdresser wasn't using the facilities. Usually, the NH/AL hairdresser is a self-employed person not an employee of the AL/NH. They have their own business.

Go thru some pictures of short hair cuts on the internet and find one you both like. Show your choice to the hairdresser and ask if she can do that. My wife always had a short cut and never manly looking. The first time in the salon at MC, the stylist was trying to put curlers in my wife's hair. I showed her a picture of my wife with short hair and the stylist cut it perfectly ever since.

Biotin really does help with hair growth and nail growth.

Mom lost all her hair about 4 years ago--I don't know why, I think it had something to do with her 'overcare' meaning she'd get a perm/color every other month and she finally just fried it.

I suggested she leave it be--using only gentle shampoos and massaging her scalp. Eventually it did grow back enough that she didn't look bald. My YB who cares for her takes her to a BARBERSHOP for a haircut every 6 weeks and she has a man's cut. It doesn't look awful, but it is not 'styled' at all. She has a hard time holding her arms up for any length of time, so I think she just sprays it with water and combs it flat and then sprays it with hairspray. Her scalp needs a good scrubbing, but I'm not going there, I have no way to get her head near the sink...I think if she could get a clean scalp (think of babies' cradle cap--it's like that) her hair would grow in thicker and she could style it a little. No way can she hold a curling iron--which could help a lot. It just is what it is.

I know my stylist could help her, but YB keeps her under lock and key, so she has to make do. Frankly, since she is completely bent over in a C-curve, she cannot see the top of her head and we just don't say anything.

My MIL has grown her hair to a below the chin length, and while she looks nice, she is lucky to have her same thick hair.

Probably need to ask the stylist to let her hair grow out to chin length. You can give her styling mousse and gels (for aides to use) so her hair has more body and/or style, Most facility clients do not get their hair washed as often as you do at home.

KisaVal: As I've aged, my hair seems to fall out more. On my daughter's advice, who is my colorist, I purchased an over-the-counter supplement called Biotin. Perhaps this would help your mother.

I guess I would ask…does she care? Is she complaining? If not I would have her get a cute stylish pixie..like I wear at 70 and always get compliments!

KisVal, doesn't MIL's hair get washed when she is showered?

A big thank you to all who replied. I do appreciate your great suggestions. As gladimhere wrote, this may be more of an issue for me than for my m.i.l. So long as it is not hanging in her face, she has no complaints about her hair. I would love to do as cwillie did and have the hairdresser wash and set mom's hair once a week. Unfortunately, the hairdresser comes to my m.i.l.'s secure dementia unit only every other week. I think two weeks is too long to go between shampoos. Unfortunately it is not possible to meet with or even speak on the phone to the hairdresser. I was not able to schedule an appointment when I can be there. The hairdresser just calls the residents down as she is ready for them. So for now at least, I think the best I can do is print up a photo or two and give them to the aide to show the hairdresser.

This was one of my pet peeves in Moms AL. Her hair was cut to feather back. Everytime an aide combed it they combed it straight down. Sometimes her part was on the wrong side. Her hair was fine and fly away. I had a special brush that helped with static but once she was in a NH, the aides chose not to use it. They used those plastic bristle brushes that just cause static. I had a sign to please use the brush provided.

What I did was take a brush and small can of hairspray with me when I visited Mom. I took the hair spray and sprayed the brush and then ran it thru Moms hair. This takes the stactic out of it and made it easier to style a little. Mom always wore her hair short but I was ready to have it cut in a style that was easier for the aides but she passed before I could get that done.

I feel for her! Since Chemo ,my hair came in VERY thin...I have bald spots all over my head. I used to have longer hair and it was very thick. Went the whole bald look with the Chemo, but now, even though it's been growing, it's so very fine and straight. I hate it! Lose about 60 hairs a day, so continuing to thin out. If you find something good for your MIL......let me know!

My mom's hair situation sounds very similar. She is 93 and lives with me and my husband. I keep everything with her as low maintenance as possible. I wouldn't do a body wave or anything as involved as that. I think you might try changing the cut if what she currently has doesn't look right on her. We wedge the back of my mom's hair just a touch (it's super fine and thin) and angle the front around the ears, then keep the top front a little longer and brushed to the side. I wish I could post a pic, but it looks very cute and it's extremely easy to keep up. If she needs to look special, I add a bit of mousse or gel and blow-dry it out on low heat. That makes a difference even with super thin hair...but make sure the temp is low.

My mom had a weekly wash and set as long as I can remember, bolstered with periodic perms. When she could no longer tolerate going to the hairdresser I began to cut her hair and use rollers after shampoos, but once she was in the nursing home she just had a simple style and I actually grew to like it very much. I think any one of these

https://shorthairmodels.com/best-hairstyles-and-haircuts-for-women-over-70/

can be very attractive, ask the hairdresser what she recommends for your mom's hair.

I have very fine hair myself & not a lot of interest in spending time fussing with it. Years & years ago, I was told about a product called Recoil Curl Activator Cream by AG:

https://www.amazon.com/AG-Hair-Curl-Re-Activator/dp/B002YJ5CHQ/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=recoil%2Bby%2Bag&qid=1641844885&sr=8-2&th=1

I put about a nickel size dollop of it in my palm and then smooth it through my hair, comb, and let it air dry. I wind up with very curly hair once it dries. With very straight hair, I doubt your MIL would wind up with very curly hair after using it, but she might wind up with waves and more body. It's worth a try, I think. I would not get her a perm which is what a body wave really is, at least not before trying the Recoil. I've also had perms myself through the years, some turned out great and others not so great. Consult with the hairdresser beforehand, of course, and maybe a light perm with bigger rods would work.

Good luck!

The joke in my family is that when manufacturers need a template to make rulers, they consult my hair. It is THAT straight. And fine (but I fortunately have a lot of hair). When I was young and thin I had super short hair and it looked great. Not so much now that I'm older and wider (not wiser).

The added problem is that my hair tends to grow forward so unless it was constrained by a barrette or elastic, it covered my face when long, which I hate. I've had perms, "Dorothy Hamill" and high-maintenance "Flock of Seagulls" style in the 80's. For many decades now I've just kept it shoulder length and pinned back by a barret or in a pony or up in a hair clip. The problem for your MIL now is growing it out in order to be able to do this. I personally love when older women have buns, but someone would need to so this for her.

My 92-yr old mom has course, wavy hair and now wears it quite short but a good stylist will know how to make it look less "manly". Like BarbBrooklyn suggested, take pictures with you so the stylist has a better idea of what you want.

No perm. They really do a number on fine hair.
Is M IL concerned or is it mostly you?

You can get dry shampoos that would be easy for you to help her with.

Unless she says or acts like it is driving her nuts, leave it alone.

Google "best feminine short wash and wear cuts for fine hair".

Can you show one of those pictures to the stylist?

My mom had exactly the kind of hair you describe; she'd get a wash and blowout once a month, but the rest of the time, her hair just kind if...sat. She had tried perms in the past with no good effect.