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His dementia is not just memory loss, rather he has become very childlike. He lacks empathy and laughs at nothing. He makes faces at people and sticks his tongue out at them. He has become very touchy feely at his daycare. His daycare nurse suggested medicating him, but his doctors have taken him off most of his medicine as they were not effective. She then suggested a psych eval. He's already had one, but I have not received the results yet. I could handle memory loss, but I am having problems with him being so deranged. At what point does he move from daycare to more comprehensive care?

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I would, but as with all of us, we all have our demons to bare. She is occupied with getting ready to get married in the spring and having an autistic child. She is afraid that her Daddy will not be able to give her away. Maybe after the wedding, she will be in a better position to help. It does help a lot to communicate with someone who understands. Thanks again.
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^^^^ sorry typo. Sentence should read "why don't you and her switch places for awhile".
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Patti1Lynn, your daughter doesn't fully understand everything that you are going through regarding your hubby's care. You don't you and her switch places for awhile so that you can get a breather... then, and maybe then, your daughter will realize caring for her Dad isn't for just one person alone.

We all have to remember that one out of every three Caregiver passes on leaving behind the person they were caring. Dementia, as you know, will only get worse, not better :(
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Thank you all for your insight. I guess the problem is that I feel alone because the love of my life is gone and I am left with only his shell. There are no more conversations and sharing experiences. No more trips or vacations together as he does not handle change well. My daughter lives next door, but she really doesn't understand the loneliness because, after all, this is her Daddy. She does understand that the man who raised her is no longer here, but she really does not want him going into a full care facility. That would be okay if I had more help with him, but at the end of the day, it's still my responsibility to care for him in addition to working full time. I do appreciate your input as I now feel that what we are going through is not totally unusual for a family dealing with dementia. Thank you!!!
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Patti1Lynn, I don't think that most of us start out with a realistic view of dementia. Places that specialize in caring for persons with some kinds of dementia call themselves "Memory Care" and we are familiar with the loss of memory aspect of the disease. But in some types of dementia memory loss is not the first or primary symptom. And in most kinds of dementia it is definitely not the only symptom.

Dementia can include many kinds of behavioral issues. Some can be managed with drugs and most can be helped by the kind of care they get. (That is, poor care practices can make things worse.)

When the recent evaluation report is ready, I hope you will discuss it with the doctor in detail. Discuss the specific issues that arise in day care.

As to when he is ready to move from daycare to more comprehensive care, that is mainly a factor of when you are ready for it to happen. If he were single, he would probably need to be in a care center now. Learn all you can about dealing with someone who has dementia. Ask questions here. Look up Teepa Snow videos online. Do your best. And when your best is not enough to keep him safe and content without sacrificing your own sanity and health, then switch from being his hands-on caregiver to being his care manager and advocate with him in an appropriate level care center.

Warm hugs to you, dear lady. I know first hand how devastating it is to have a spouse with dementia. This is TOUGH. It is not your fault. You'll get through this.
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You used the word deranged. Dementia...... "demented"

Absolutely check with his Dr. or pharmacist but when people have dementia it can and often does change their entire personality. It's so much more than just memory loss and often the behavior is very childlike which is why many people compare toddlers with someone with dementia. I don't think that's very nice or respectful but I can understand how one can make the comparison.

There is no one point someone reaches when they need more comprehensive care. Dementia affects different people in different ways.

Deciding when someone needs 24-hour care is a personal decision that has to be made by the family/caregiver. How much can you take? Is he a danger to himself or others? Is he becoming bed-bound? Many factors go into the decision-making process.

See what the psych evaluation says and talk to the Dr. who administered it as to medications that might be helpful. I'm all for medicating someone with dementia but there's a fine line between medicated and zombie. And like dementia, medications affect people differently. If my dad so much as looked at Xanax he'd be out cold for 2 days.

Any new or sudden behavior changes that you can't attribute to dementia or that seem not quite right should be reported to his Dr.
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Mthr went from mean as a snake to quiet. Last week when I visited, I got wound up and was talking loudly like I do to my father in law, and she told me to be quiet. Had this been 3 years ago, she would not have thought I was loud, and if she did, she would have smacked me or yelled at me to shut up! These are personality changes I really appreciate.
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From what I have read, childlike behavior is normal with dementia.
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Sounds like polypharmacy, either too many meds, or medication interactions. Ask the Pharmacist about the meds. They know more than the MD's
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