I had all these hopes for my mom. Passed on at 94 in March of 2017. I have a couple of recent pictures of my mother and I can see in her eyes how hard it was for her physically. Fortunately, she really only suffered for a couple of months. 1 month in hospital and 1 month in nursing home and hospice declining rapidly. Yet, I still had hope that each day she would improve and get better. Then I'd visit her just about daily, and reality hit me in the face that, no, she was not getting better. I'd go home then get hopeful, next day, nope, she was not getting better. I so wanted her to get better that I was either going to buy a mobile home or rent a 2 bedroom apartment, move her furniture in, and we'd both live there and I could take care of her because I believed she would get better and return to her previous independent self. I really wanted that to happen. I wanted to improve the relationship and make amends for my mistakes. Really, really wanted that to happen. And believed it would until the next visiting day when reality hit. I guess I must live in a not so reality based world where I believe that we live forever. I find it hard to believe she has gone. And almost everyday I wonder, well maybe she is alive and they made a mistake in identifying the body, maybe they have the wrong body and she is still alive in the nursing home but they won't tell me! Can you believe I have been thinking that the last few days? Because I didn't see her die. I saw her the day before and was going to visit the day after she passed! And it was a graveside burial, no open casket, as I am the only family member. So I never saw the body. So I have these doubts. Is this all normal? How do I deal with all this? Thanks.