My 83 year old mom keeps two loaded hand guns in the house "for protection." How do I deal with this?

A woman I worked with shot her son when he came to her house during a power outage to check if she was ok. Fortunately she only grazed him. He took her gun away. He is a cop. She's still angry. Smh. So I say find a way to get the gun. Find out what she fears and try to find a safer solution.

Shelly might it be less confrontational just to take the ammunition and leave the gun where it is? Assuming you know how to unload the wretched thing safely - I must admit I'd be in a cold sweat trying to do that!

I live with my parents. My dad has Lewy Body dementia also, and I found a gun in his top drawer. I just waited until he wasn't paying attention and hid it where he won't find it & can't reach it. Some parents will consider it a great betrayal to be visited by a policeman regarding their firearm. They'll assume you called the police . I try to avoid confrontation as much as possible although reasonable boundaries would be my preference. Codependency sucks! My mom can't see two feet in front of her face and her doctor just gave her a signed letter allowing the DMV to issue her a driver's license! My sister & I didn't want to be the bad guys so we thought her doctor would surely take that off our hands. My mom has advanced macular degeneration and receives monthly injections into her eyeballs. Within the last six months of receiving the letter she hasn't fought us on bringing her to the DMV. I think she has to realize she is endangering others along with herself.

I understand all your concerns but I have a 55 yr old father who is dead because his second divorced wife (alcholic) came over for a bottle. Because dad wouldn't give it to her she shot him in the head while he was laying on the couch. She wasn't drunk.

If she happens to be competent, good for her! Too many times people break into the homes of vulnerable people until one day there looking down the barrel of a double barrel shotgun. It's about time vulnerable people start fighting back and reclaiming what's rightfully theirs

This is an old question but all the advice still applies.

First off seniors that have psychiatric or some mental issues do not need any kind of access to a weapon because they could accidentally discharge it if someone is at the house there to help them. I would remove any and all weapons from the house and take it a step further by getting a court to order any gun shops not to sell any guns to grandma if she attempts to purchase guns to replace the ones you remove.

Take her for ice cream and have a friend/family member get the d*mn gun out of the house lie and say you took it to get cleaned IF she looks and go ds it missing if she remembers later tell her it's getting "reblued" (not so sure about the spelling fellow gun owners Kno what this is) "it takes time ma" and hope she does forget but at least she can't shoot you cuz she's p*ssed

Remove the firing pin or have it filed down

Remove the firing pins

When I moved into the house to care for my mom and dad who both have Dementia, I did not know that there was a gun in the house as I had really never looked through all their stuff. As their diseases progressed, one morning I went downstairs to dispense their meds, Mom was looking down the barrell of that pistol! "Trying to check and see if it is loaded.", she said. She informed me that it was not loaded. I tricked her into putting it down on the table, and when I finally was able to take it away, I found it was fully loaded. I almost had a heart attack when I considered what could have easily happened as she looked down that barrel! Needless to say, that gun is gone and I went through that place with a fine tooth comb making sure there were no more.

put up the guns and gave your Grandmother all the Love you have

I can't believe this question is still receiving comments. Screw the "right to bear arms" debate from gun lovers. This is a 93 year old woman who should not be in possession of guns. Call your local police. Then get her out of the house somehow and have the guns removed. There are many inexpensive security systems. No one needs a gun, unless they are military or police personnel. And a woman of that age is going to blow someone's head off. Peace. I'm out.

Scared, I hope you are just blowing off a little steam this morning and you really don't mean that. You asked a question and got 50 different answers, some of which had nothing to do with your question. Also the political debate about the right to own firearms has people riled up. This doesn't help you either.
Scared, it isn't easy, but you need to do the right thing that will help you sleep at night, and decrease the danger to your mom. And the "Right Thing" is different for everyone.
You were presented with a whole bunch of different ideas in this thread. Go to the park or Starbucks, get out a pad of paper and pen and choose your best course of action with a clear head. Choose an ideal scenario and also choose one isn't as great but that you can live with. Also, choosing to do nothing is a decision.
And please do something nice for yourself today to help boost your mood.
:-)

You are so right, IsntEasy. I wish I had the courage to do it. I guess I, like so many others, will wait until it's too late, then the police can come and take the guns when the coroner takes my body.

I'm waiting for someone to make a lucid argument for an elderly person with paranoia having free access to fire arms and ammunition – not a political argument, one based on common sense.
I know a man who was sweet as could be almost all the time, dearly loved his wife of 60+ years. One evening, he became agitated, convinced that his wife was plotting something against him. He still seemed his gentle self, but she called the front desk for help in settling him. Before anyone could reach their apartment, he struck her with his cane, causing a serious gash (anyone who has experience with wound healing and the elderly knows how dangerous that can be).
What if he had a gun? You could engrave the second amendment on her tombstone, that might be a comfort to their family.
Take away the guns by any means necessary. Call the police today.

I have mixed feelings about this interesting situation. I am a person who chooses to exercise my second amendment, and I am a gun owner myself. I actually encourage my boss to take a firearm safety class, and learn how to handle a firearm. I also encouraged her to arm herself with a small calibre firearm for person safety. But, I'm a little concerned about the paranoia you mentioned with your mom. Have you considered taking a firearm safety class yourself or maybe with your mom? There is no reason to fear the guns. You must respect them. I guess it's a case by case decision. Good luck.

Ferris1, I have to disagree with you. A toy gun can still get you shot. Here's my quick story. OK not so quick. We had to rescue my my crazy 90 year old MIL because she was being financially and emotionally abused by her daughter. Daughter was mean, momma had dementia and was mean, too. I had to move my MIL out of her house with a police escort because things were so volatile. I looked into one of her filing cabinets and found a gun. I told the police officer what I found. He picked it up and told me it was a toy. My MIL said, "Of course its a toy!" Then she stuck it right in the cop's face and yelled, "Bang!Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!"
The cop's face turned bright red, and he turned around quickly and marched out of the room. I was grateful that this involved a suburban cop, not one of the harder, more aggressive city cops. Even though she said it was a toy and she's meshuggah, a cop might not remember in the heat of the moment.

Call the police and tell them you want to make a "welfare check" on your mom. Tell them she has loaded handguns in the house and is unstable. Then find a psychiatrist to evaluate her mental status. Good luck! (If you can find the guns, of course unload them and possibly replace them with toy guns.)

THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS? Children cannot buy or register guns. Mentally ill people cannot possess guns. People who were convicted of domestic abuse cannot own a gun. People with serious past convicted felonies cannot own guns. A person without an FID Card or back ground check cannot buy a gun. Thank god I live in a state that has enough sensible laws to try and keep guns out of the hands of people who should not own guns. Yes it is a constitutional right. So is freedom of speech, but you can't go around saying you are going to take the life of a president. Any one who shows signs of declining mental abilities should not be in possession of a gun!

This is an emergency situation. Paranoia is absolutely an indicator that a person should not have access to a gun. Keep in mind that dementia usually exists long before it's present. Plus, people of that age often hallucinate situationally – when waking up, in a darkened room, etc. This is a horrible accident waiting to happen. Follow the advice of those who've commented already (except Daeyel, who's political opinions are prevailing over his common sense). Involve the police, disable or remove the guns. ASAP

Well, you said she "seems" paranoid and she has always been that way, but we don't know the context or severity. What is the doctors opinion?

That said, age is not a reason to deny people their constitutional rights. There are many examples of elderly and children defending themselves in their homes against intruders with malicious intent, and intruders look for the elderly. When seconds count, the police are too many minutes away. Do you have a cell phone? Do you call before you come in? I don't think getting her used to unannounced visitors is a good idea. I don't think you have established her paranoia is a threat. Why not consult a doctor about the paranoia if you think it's that bad.

Capt Hardass had the right answer. That way no one gets hurt emotionally or physically.
Is there a reason for her to be scared, I mean really scared? if that's the case I'd want a gun too.

LEP627: he has.

Oh---another thing....paranoia can exist along with fear of the guns at one point or another. My Mom gave away a pistol and clips to some other mentally ill person 'for safe keeping" because she was afraid to have them in the car when she drove over State lines....and was more afraid of having them around, than that a bear or robber might attack them.
We have no idea where that gun and it's clips went; it's been many years ago.
She's in no way responsible or accountable for any weapon beyond a kitchen knife...and we frequently questioned that!

FYI: Harm can still be done with "Blanks". These rounds are meant to cause a "flash/bang", which means anyone standing too close CAN be harmed.
IF enough residue from spent rounds collects in the gun, it can cause the "blanks" to blow it up in the face of the user--again, HARM.

If someone is paranoid about things, they are confused, as well, even if they do not immediately appear confused, paranoia is one symptom that is a marker for "take away the guns" time.

Living in a place where they feel insecure, is a problem...I vote for the pepper or wasp spray. It also does damage, but at least not likely to kill you when she fears you are a robber, instead of her relative, and less likely to blow up in her face.
.

@Scared. You can contact the DMV (or your Dad's doctor) and tell them you are concerned about your Dad driving. The DMV will then send him a letter requiring him to retake the written and driving test again. I made the request to my Mom's doctor. In California, if you are diagnosed with Dementia, they suspend your license. However, it can be appealed, and then someone else will be making the decision. Legally, it doesn't sound like his doctor is following the law. He should report the guns and driving issue.

I would suggest someone outside of the family approach her about the guns. She obviously feels the need to have some sort of protection. Perhaps if you can have someone convince her to exchange the gun for a life alert system, where she can immediately press a button for help.

I see there are some pro-gun views and anti-gun views. Get rid of the ammo at least. Call your local police department and ask them what they think you should do. My Dad (who passed in 2011), had 2 antique rifles (1 of which, even my Mom didn't know of). After Sandy Hook, I was going to turn them in to the PD, but my brother wanted them. The elderly + guns is a risky thing. If your Mom can't drive anymore, definitely get rid of those guns. Sorry pro-gun people, I think you're wrong. Consider installing a security system instead.

There comes a time in life for everyone who lives long enough that we just are not who we once were. If we live long enough, we won't be able to climb ladders, we won't be able to drive, we won't be able to lift/move things we once could, we won't be able to make rational decisions. Make the decision for your mom before she shoots and maims/kills herself or someone else. If she is truly in a dangerous environment, make the decision to move her to a safer place. Your mom's constitutional right to bear arms ends when she can no longer be trusted not to harm herself of anyone else.