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My 92 year old mom has dementia. She has lived with my husband and I for 10 years. The last two have been crazy difficult due to her condition. 10 days ago she was offered a Medicaid bed at a really sweet memory care home near us. It is a miracle she was placed since she has no assets. I know intellectually this is a very good move. The problem is the guilt. I had no idea it would be this hard. My heart goes out to any of you who have had to place a parent.

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I am always so touched by this compassionate community of caregivers, sharing our stories and our pain...lifting each other up, even when we are sharing the same struggle and pain. We learn so much from each other. Hugs to each of you - you are all worthy of peace and good memories about your loved ones.
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Thank you all so much for your kind replies. Also for being so open about your own painful situations. None of us should feel any guilt. We all have done what needed to be done. My husband visited yesterday and she didn't even ask about home. The folks caring for her are heroes. They have really gone out of their way to help all of us adjust. Love to each of you kind folks. ❤️
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I placed my dad in a memory care facility last week. He was living with my mom but the dementia got too bad. It was running her down and she basically said I had to find a place ASAP. I felt very pressured and did what I had to do. Otherwise, she would be run down to the ground. I had to lie to him to get him in there. That's what I feel guilty about. Otherwise, I have reconciled the fact that his condition could drag us all down to the point of no return. Take care of you, and take comfort in that fact that your mother is in professional care. I probably will never stop feeling guilty either but I know there was not another workable option for our family.
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If your mother reached the point in her life that she needs more assistance like a Memory Home, then you are blessed that you did what needed to be done. Memory Homes are wonderful from what I have been told.
It wasn't easy raising us kids either and our parents just did what they thought best for us. Now we kids are having to do the same for our parents.
Give it time, 10 days may feel like a lifetime but it isn't even 2 weeks.

Huggers.
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Janet you did the right thing no doubt about that. There is absolutely no need for guilt. Mom is in a nice place and being well cared for. I wish every caregiver could have that comfort. Depending on the progress of her dementia it will soon become her new "home" It has only been ten days so give her time. Has anyone suggested that you don't visit at all for a couple of weeks to let her get used to the new environment and routine? I am sure you would absolutely hate to do that.
Put your best foot forward and continue to be the good daughter that you are. Time to give hubby some special attention. It has not been an easy time for him either.

Shane and Amygrace. Crying is a good thing. It helps to wash the pain away
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Shane, ditto here. I cried each time I left Mom after a visit to the NH. I lived 45 miles away so visits were only a few times a week. Dementia is a horrible disease. If she watched me leave and walk down the hall she would cry and carry on all day and of course I would cry on the way home. We had a plan that the aides would distract her, take her to the bathroom etc while I left. With her dementia, mercifully she didn't remember I had been there after a few moments. We knew she was safer there, better cared for, but it still hurt and I felt so guilty that, although I had been there that day, she passed in the night and I wasn't there with her. Its been a year and I'm still second-guessing myself, more now than when she passed. At the time I just felt relief that she was finally at peace and no longer in pain and bedridden and unhappy. Now I think about her all the time.
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It's normal to feel guilty and that doesn't go away. When we put my mom in a NH my brother and I agonized over it every day. I coped with it by telling myself that her safety was a priority as my mother was just not making the correct decisions for her safety and needed 24/7 observation. The guilt never went away but not to discount it, but you have to do what you have to do. I used to leave the NH and cry in my car for 1/2 hr every time. It was terrible but necessary. I still fight that guilt 4 Yrs after she has gone. 
I am sorry you are going through this, but believe me you are not alone. It will get easier to compartmentalize it somewhere in your brain eventually, but don't regret your decision as in the long run it is best for her. 
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Thanks so much yoga girl.....love that idea of small stuffed animals....and time...yes..it will get better with time. 🌸
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Thank you so much for your kind answer. I really find comfort in your words that with this time of respite I can finally just be her daughter again. Maybe this can really be a sweet season. Hugs back to you too...😌
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Janet27, you are a great daughter. It's natural to feel guilty and miss your mom. I visit mine daily. I take little snacks and stuffed animals that are her babies. I feel better now about mom being there. Give it time.
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You must be very lonely in a way that company can't help. I'm so sorry for you and your mom but glad that you both are being cared for now.Life has stages. This is a tough one but in some ways I think it is helpful to have a respite before the end. You can visit her now without worrying about all the work. You can give her more of yourself in a way you couldn't before. You know that she is getting the best care you can provide. You can rest. You can treasure her presence without resenting the necessity of your constant attention for her care. You've done a good job. A big hug to you both.
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