Celebrate an early holiday with your mother. She’s 95, you’ve enjoyed A LOT of holidays together over the years. Spend the actual holiday with your son and grandchild. You won’t regret it. Hate to say it because I don’t know if I can say it nicely but now that you arena grandparent, you should enjoy being a grandparent and try to make as many memories with your grandchildren as possible. Like I said, your mom is 95 and there’s a lifetime of memories there. My prespective comes from the loss of my MIL at the young age of 68, she won’t be making any more memories with her grandchildren. You never know what will happen. If your mom has a smart phone or a tablet, perhaps you could video chat with her from your sons house?
Between a rock and a hard place. Can Mom go with u to son's? I like suggested, an early celebration. We used to spend TG with DHs family. Because we spent Christmas Eve with my Mom. My MIL didn't cook on Christmas because we all ate at SILs Dads back then. Then MIL moved to Fla. Holidays were for my kids so didn't travel that 2 day drive.
Visit your mother the weekend before the holiday and celebrate with her, take a few photos, the go to a Walgreens/Walmart/etc and print a photo or a photo collage with a "Thanksgiving/Christmas 2019" label, place it in a frame and leave it with your mother. During the actual holiday mom can point to the photo and tell herself and others you visited her last week. Spend the actual holiday with your son and his family. Give your mother a call the morning of the actual holiday and if possible, see if someone in the extended family, church, neighbors, or circle of friends can stop by for a short visit. Holidays are a season, not just a day.
Maybe for Christmas you consider purchasing a digital photo frame and loading it with photos of her grandson and his family you took at Thanksgiving. My mother loves to push the button on her frame and watch the "show" for hours.
I'm an only also and I understand the challenges and concerns. This is a great place to find great ideas. Are you asking if you should bring her to your place for the holidays? Or go visit her at her place for the holidays? How old are you and are you retired? More info would be helpful.
Maybe celebrate the holidays at her place prior (like a week or 2 before). Maybe it's just you and you can FaceTime your son + family for a 10-minute chat. If you stay with your mom for a few days you'd probably get your eyes opened as to whether she is truly "very independent" or if you're just unaware of her actual functionality (physical and mental).
Can you go up to get her before the holidays and bring her in for a stay, then return her after? I don't think you'd be able to manage this "remotely" as someone needs to help her get packed up, unless you have a relationship with a trusted neighbor of hers... I have this arrangement with 2 very senior LOs in FL, and I'm in MN.
Is there someplace your mom can go locally to her to celebrate the holidays? Does she belong to a place of worship? Or a senior center? Or even a NH even though she's not a resident (does she have any friends still alive in a nearby NH?)
Ok, here’s an idea for you. It’s what we do. The Holidays are (supposed to be, anyway) about get-togethers with family. I get that. In our family, we celebrate with my son and his family on Christmas Eve at his house, 45 minutes away. It’s a great time; casual with good food. games, love and laughter. Then, they are free to celebrate Christmas Day with my DIL’s family. My daughter and her family comes to our house on Christmas for a more formal, get-together.
If your plans would involve much travel and overnights, then do your celebrationss over a few weeks. Heck, nowadays everyone starts celebrating Christmas in August anyway, so there’s no need to nail down all your celebrations to one day. Family needs to be understanding and flexible.
mother. She’s 95, you’ve enjoyed A LOT of holidays together over the years. Spend the actual holiday with your son and grandchild. You won’t regret it. Hate to say it because I don’t know if I can say it nicely but now that you arena grandparent, you should enjoy being a grandparent and try to make as many memories with your grandchildren as possible. Like I said, your mom is 95 and there’s a lifetime of memories there. My prespective comes from the loss of my MIL at the young age of 68, she won’t be making any more memories with her grandchildren. You never know what will happen. If your mom has a smart phone or a tablet, perhaps you could video chat with her from your sons house?
Maybe for Christmas you consider purchasing a digital photo frame and loading it with photos of her grandson and his family you took at Thanksgiving.
My mother loves to push the button on her frame and watch the "show" for hours.
Maybe celebrate the holidays at her place prior (like a week or 2 before). Maybe it's just you and you can FaceTime your son + family for a 10-minute chat. If you stay with your mom for a few days you'd probably get your eyes opened as to whether she is truly "very independent" or if you're just unaware of her actual functionality (physical and mental).
Can you go up to get her before the holidays and bring her in for a stay, then return her after? I don't think you'd be able to manage this "remotely" as someone needs to help her get packed up, unless you have a relationship with a trusted neighbor of hers... I have this arrangement with 2 very senior LOs in FL, and I'm in MN.
Is there someplace your mom can go locally to her to celebrate the holidays? Does she belong to a place of worship? Or a senior center? Or even a NH even though she's not a resident (does she have any friends still alive in a nearby NH?)
Blessings!
If your plans would involve much travel and overnights, then do your celebrationss over a few weeks. Heck, nowadays everyone starts celebrating Christmas in August anyway, so there’s no need to nail down all your celebrations to one day. Family needs to be understanding and flexible.