My dad is going to need to go assisted living and I am having so much guilt and anxiety.
My dad has been living alone since my mother died 3 years ago. He had been doing well till the last 6 months. He has fallen numerous times, one time causing an injury to his knee that put him hospital for 10 days to get wound healing. He has diabetes and since it didn't hurt (!) he didn't think to say anything to anyone till it was serious. After that hospitalization, I stayed with him for a week, then came almost every day to check on him, till it seemed he was able to take care of himself again. Slowly, though, it became clear that it was getting harder for him to take care of himself. He did have LIfe Alert, but refused to use it when he fell last week and ended up laying on the floor all day till I showed up because he didn't answer his phone. He was almost comatose, with a glucose of 29. He was taken to ER and did come around quickly, but then it was discovered he has C diff. Now he is on antibiotics again and not doing well. He will have to go to skilled nursing then hopefully transferred to AL. He has been told, but right now he is so out of it that we haven't been able to discuss this, other than he is very angry. I cannot take care of him myself and really feel this is the best situation for all. But I do I deal with the guilt, and feeling that I should not be happy and live my life anymore? I know many may feel the way I do. When I lost my husband 8 years ago, it did help to read about other people and they how they dealt with grief. It really helped to know I wasn't alone or going crazy.
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You want to do what is "best" for your Dad, and Assistant Living sounds like the right thing for him. Yes, he probably will be angry, and very grumpy having to move, especially downsizing.
My Dad went into a senior complex but I was lucky as it was at his own suggestion. He knew he could no longer live in his house with all those stairs, even having caregivers helping him. He also was a fall risk. Thus he moved into senior living and he really liked the place. He enjoyed all the attention he was getting... enjoyed all the great meals.... and he was making new friends.
Hopefully your Dad will adjust and enjoy the place, but he might not want to admit it to you :)