Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Thank you both cdnreader and 97 yroldmom, for your answers.

My sister brought up the idea of a settlement for him to just go away too. That will be brought up to the new attorney. We have an appointment to meet him next week. As for attempting to talk to my brother, that may not be a good idea. It's been a really long time, but he was always physically abusive throughout our childhoods and into our teens. But he was accused of being abusive by each of his 3 ex-wives. My sister is still terrified of him and I would never allow him to get near her. Still another reason to get the guardianship, I know. But, I have to say that he was never convicted of any violence that I'm aware of.

I have moved her money to another account, but at the same bank. I've kept it there mostly because they know me and my mom and they're aware that I have paid some bills for her, corrected problems for her, and I've brought her in for a variety of reasons. I like that they have seen how I've handled her money in the past as well as now that someone is or could be watching. They also have the ability to look at my purchasing activity, almost exclusively by debit card and almost always at locations near her house. There are not many and they are for basic items such as groceries, a few household at dollar stores or home improvement stores and occasional gas purchases (I live over 40 miles away) and until she moved to AL I made the trip 3-4 times per week. They are also aware that I have made deposits to her account for a small loan that she made me before her dementia was bad. This is an extremely small bank and in the last 2 days they've shown just how diligent they really are. I've been informed of his every action and even told me what all was said.

I have read through a lot of these posts and I'm constantly amazed at what some people find acceptable behavior, especially with regard to their own parent(s)! Mother's behavior is now more like a 10-12 year old child, knowing just enough to be dangerous. But, that is due to an illness. It's painful when a parent accuses you of stealing and you only want to care for her. It's unbelievable that my own brother would encourage that delusion to benefit his own bottom line, especially considering the small amount of money here.
Thank you for the opportunity to vent a bilłi
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I wonder if you can move the account to a different bank and not tell mom where it is?
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Dear Sister2Sister,

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. I know you and your sister have given a lot of time and effort in ensuring your mom is well cared for. The actions by your brother is very troubling. I know you do not want to see your mom abused financially. If you can, please consider talking to a social worker or an elder law attorney about all your options. Given your brother's condition, he might continue to try and manipulate your mom. If he received a letter from an attorney, he might back off, but that is hard to say. I'm not sure if you and your sister could confront him and let him know that his actions will not be tolerated. Or see if you mom would want him to have a one time settlement and then revoke any claims he might have in the future.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter