We are about to do the Guardianship on Mom - I'm told this will "put me on the street"
I've been doing this for over 8 years without a paycheck and the lawyer sez "Get a job!"
I need to tread water for a while. Do I have any other recourse other than to get my own lawyer?
I also need to get a 2nd opinion from another lawyer. Which is difficult when I can't leave Mom by herself.
I had to quit my job 5 years ago and my husband lost his 2 years ago, so it's a struggle to get through every day here too! I will be 62 in August and plan on collecting SS right away. My husband had to start last year at 63. There aren't many laws out there to protect the care givers and it really sucks because most of us are emotionally, physically and financially destroyed by the time all is said and done.
I would say do some research on your computer and contact the department of elder affairs in your state and see what laws they may have to protect you from being tossed into the street after all these years. Good luck!
This lawyer has scared you because you think you are going to be homeless and jobless. If you are getting guardianship of your mother, why is the home being sold? Does she need to go to a nursing home? If she ownes the business and home, why does it have to be liquidated at this point? Is there no money except in the home and business?
If the POA is void, you will need guardianship to pay her bills and deal with her insurance. Basically she has no representation until someone is her guardian. I hope you can find someone to help you and explain you and your mother's options without unnecessarily making you upset.
And if your sister is not on your side and you are getting information from her, i would take a good long look at what she is up to.
My biggest weakness in this is I stay so busy and exhausted with Mom that I often get blindsided. I'm kinda like the frog in the pot of cold water that's been heated up until it's boiling to death and doesn't realize it until it's too late.
Mom doesn't yet know we're doing this. Other than that, you're asking questions I really don't have the answers to.
I do know Mom has paid for a "nursing home" policy for 15 years, and the nursing home has to have certain services and credentials for the policy to pay out.
Caregivers are often in a vulnerable position. Often the parents don't want to lose control of assets and they don't feel they should have to pay their children. They leave all asset transfer to the will. That can go bad, however. Someone may put in 20 years caring for someone, then in one day of anger, a will can be changed. Or end-of-life care may consume everything. I understand the way you feel. I hope that you can find a good legal leg to stand on, so that you are not treated unfairly.
There is so much lip service praising caregivers. I think we should have a legally recognized caregiver bill of rights to keep craziness from throwing cgs into poverty after years of service.
The insurance policy won't pay for her care unless we file and get Guardianship (or so I'm told)
Dealing with Mom is like trying to build a model airplane in a room with a rampaging elephant. Go ahead! TRY and glue that little plastic piece to the other piece! Do it and see what happens! First something will hit you in the back of your head and if you try and shake it off and follow through, something else will land right on top of the model and smash it into a zillion pieces!
(This is all figurative, of course. The model airplane could be anything: important paperwork, taxes, a phone call from an old friend, a chore at the house or the shop that needs to be done, whatever)
... Why is guardianship necessary for your Mother? Who is being appointed guardianship? Does she have a P.O. A.? I'd like to give you my insight on this because, I had a similar "run around" situation.
Original attorney hired another attorney to represent my husband's parents. That attorney was to act independently and assess the situation, visit the inlaws, and represent their interests before the judge.
All costs were paid for out of parents' funds -except for the insurance bond required by the court that we paid for ourselves.
In our case everyone was in agreement. If people disagree, it can get extremely complicated and expensive.'
(I know, I know... Caretaking IS a REAL JOB, but try telling that to the average HR guy)
I'm unclear if I'm supposed to get my own lawyer, or if the Guardianship lawyer is trying to cut me off and out???
My SIL's friend's family couldn't agree on who should be the guardian for their father so the judge appointed a professional. Their dad is now on Medicaid, the house is sold, and the assets have been sold. The guardian has turned responsibilities over to the SNFs' social worker. The social worker called the family and told them the professional guardian had NOT made funeral arrangements.......
I have also been told that lawyers have to keep copies of all their Wills for 50 years, even if they go out of business. So I have some homework to do.
What really bites in all this is the family business that I have taken Mom back and forth to for the last 8 years. - "I'm doing this all for yew!" If Mom has said that once, she's said it a million times. (nothing in writing, it's all manipulation)
I'm told the court will shut the business down and liquidate the contents and property and it will all go to keep her in the home. (Mom has a Will, but it's MIA and the old lawyer who drew it up is out of business)
Even though I hired the Guardianship lawyer and signed the retainer check, I still need *my own lawyer* (funny how the Guardianship lawyer says nothing about that - and they wonder why they are despised....)
I hope that your lawyer can help you protect your interests.
Over and over I see people on this board who don't think it is right to accept a paycheck for caring for their loved ones. I don't understand that attitude at all. We all have to live, we all have expenses, we all have a future to protect. Why shouldn't our loved ones pay their own way (to the extent that they can)? You'd better believe that her nursing home is going to get paid. I wish you'd at least been getting some money to save for the last 8 years, to cushion this transition for you.
I wish you the best. Please keep us informed. We learn from each other.