Caregiving 8 years without a paycheck and the Guardianship lawyer tells me, "Get a job!" (What the...???)

Follow
Share

We are about to do the Guardianship on Mom - I'm told this will "put me on the street"

I've been doing this for over 8 years without a paycheck and the lawyer sez "Get a job!"

I need to tread water for a while. Do I have any other recourse other than to get my own lawyer?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
21

Answers

Show:
1 2 3
We live in Texas. I need to start separating the facts from the rumors and scuttlebutt... I think I'm getting too much bad information.

I also need to get a 2nd opinion from another lawyer. Which is difficult when I can't leave Mom by herself.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hank, what state do you live in? Have you been caring for Mom in her own home? I'm in Mass. and there is a law that says a care giver can not be thrown out of the house of the parent they have been living in and caring for when they are placed in a facility. Fortunately we got a lawyer to have Mom sign over the house to me over 3 years ago, but now I have the added burden of paying for all the bills that come with owning a home. Mom is paying me "room and board" for her apartment. It's a 4 family house, but now that her LTC $$ is exhausted, there isn't much left to pay for both outside help and me, which I could not do without as she is total care..
I had to quit my job 5 years ago and my husband lost his 2 years ago, so it's a struggle to get through every day here too! I will be 62 in August and plan on collecting SS right away. My husband had to start last year at 63. There aren't many laws out there to protect the care givers and it really sucks because most of us are emotionally, physically and financially destroyed by the time all is said and done.
I would say do some research on your computer and contact the department of elder affairs in your state and see what laws they may have to protect you from being tossed into the street after all these years. Good luck!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hank442, you need good legal counsel. It sounds like you are being bullied and jerked around a bit. Some lawyers will work pro-bono. Take a deep breath and try to relax, your thoughts will clear a little.

This lawyer has scared you because you think you are going to be homeless and jobless. If you are getting guardianship of your mother, why is the home being sold? Does she need to go to a nursing home? If she ownes the business and home, why does it have to be liquidated at this point? Is there no money except in the home and business?

If the POA is void, you will need guardianship to pay her bills and deal with her insurance. Basically she has no representation until someone is her guardian. I hope you can find someone to help you and explain you and your mother's options without unnecessarily making you upset.

And if your sister is not on your side and you are getting information from her, i would take a good long look at what she is up to.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

The original lawyer suggested that I play the good guy and Sis play the bad guy (we were already set up for it)

My biggest weakness in this is I stay so busy and exhausted with Mom that I often get blindsided. I'm kinda like the frog in the pot of cold water that's been heated up until it's boiling to death and doesn't realize it until it's too late.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My sister has been handling a lot of the paperwork and insurance stuff with the lawyer while I'm tied up with Mom, (who today was clinging like a 2nd skin).

Mom doesn't yet know we're doing this. Other than that, you're asking questions I really don't have the answers to.

I do know Mom has paid for a "nursing home" policy for 15 years, and the nursing home has to have certain services and credentials for the policy to pay out.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am still not clear why you personally did not apply to be your mother's guardian. Is it something you prefer not to do, or is there a reason that you can't apply. Family members are often guardians. Would it be contested by people if you applied?

Caregivers are often in a vulnerable position. Often the parents don't want to lose control of assets and they don't feel they should have to pay their children. They leave all asset transfer to the will. That can go bad, however. Someone may put in 20 years caring for someone, then in one day of anger, a will can be changed. Or end-of-life care may consume everything. I understand the way you feel. I hope that you can find a good legal leg to stand on, so that you are not treated unfairly.

There is so much lip service praising caregivers. I think we should have a legally recognized caregiver bill of rights to keep craziness from throwing cgs into poverty after years of service.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

What has guardianship to do with an insurance policy?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Correction: the POA is no good because Mom signed it a week before the doctor signed his paperwork.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The lawyer says the POA is no good since the Dr signed paperwork saying she's incompetent.

The insurance policy won't pay for her care unless we file and get Guardianship (or so I'm told)

Dealing with Mom is like trying to build a model airplane in a room with a rampaging elephant. Go ahead! TRY and glue that little plastic piece to the other piece! Do it and see what happens! First something will hit you in the back of your head and if you try and shake it off and follow through, something else will land right on top of the model and smash it into a zillion pieces!

(This is all figurative, of course. The model airplane could be anything: important paperwork, taxes, a phone call from an old friend, a chore at the house or the shop that needs to be done, whatever)
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Hank4422 I am finding somethings unclear, and it is the basis for your question...
... Why is guardianship necessary for your Mother? Who is being appointed guardianship? Does she have a P.O. A.? I'd like to give you my insight on this because, I had a similar "run around" situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions