I would like to know the same thing. I took Mom to Florida for 5 months to get away from all the greed. My 2 half brother's have "borrowed" over $90,000. I am her POA and it does no good if they cry and beg and Mom gives in. They called her in Florida , one even had the Police there 3 times. I am currently going for Guardianship. Mom has memory issues too. I have been physically hit, beat and slapped by one half brother who refuses to give up. Currently in court on the last throw on the floor. He has lost everything due to drinking. Furthermore has cried and brain washed Mom one day to go to a lawyer and get POA. Luckily, I got wind of it and had Mom put a stop, she did not remember going. If your story is anything like mine, and you want peace of mind.....Go for it ...
Mom and I are moving in September to Virginia. I have filed an exploitation charge on my half brother. He has "borrowed" over $45,000 plus was given a Kabota tractor free that is worth $14,000. He continues to try and get POA and has physically abused me 3 times. He was just let out of a court ordered Mental Facility and threw me on the floor at Mom's Assisted Living on 6/30. That is still coming up in court. He needs more money or he will lose his house that Mom co-signed. She does not remember. Adult Protective Services in Vermont are useless and claim that Mom allows this and knows what she is doing. How can she when she does not remember? Jay has no car, repossessed when he was in the Mental Facility.He saved some money (as he is on disability for mental), and got out 3 weeks ago and rented cars, bought a cell phone and buys take out food, yet Mom is responsible for his taxes that have not been paid in almost 3 years. How can any judge not think that is exploitation? I guess I need to hire another Lawyer for if I am to pursue my filing on exploitation. It's not fair. Since my Dad passed in 12/2011 Jay has done nothing but drink, get money from Mom, take out what he had for his retirement, blown money foolishly. He is Bi-Polar. I do not have a lot of money but when I sell my house I have $200,00 equity which I earned, I want this nightmare over before my health suffers anymore...
POA's require that what you do is consistent with your Mother's wishes. If she cannot express these due to dementia, your siblings could bring a case that you are not acting in accordance with what she would want. Beware, however, that a contested guardianship can be rancorous and very expensive.
I tried a Restraining order would not work in Vermont, as they see no immediate danger. The judge does not to keep siblings away...There are obligations, that is why I have not done this sooner, but I have no choice. I have spoke to 3 good Elder attorneys.
Find a good elder law lawyer and ask for the pros and cons of getting guardianship. If you have a durable POA and an advanced directive you should be able to protect her financial assets and assist her with health care decisions.
The brothers who are "borrowing" large sums of money from your mother should be easily stopped. Have nothing which can be used to write them a check in her area. It is shameless to take money from an elder with memory issues while they may need that money for their own care before they pass away. If you live with your mother, just monitor their contact so they can't take advantage of her. If they are unable to use mom as an ATM machine they will likely not be coming around at all. Just users. Sad.
If you are her medical and financial POA, then you really don't need a guardianship. If you decide to go ahead with the guardianship, check with your local Area Agency on Aging or Bureau of Senior Services for a guardianship handbook which will explain guardianship. Whether you are a POA or a guardian, you still must make decisions based on what your mother would want/the kind of decisions she would have made or you must act in her 'best interest'. Staff at the AAA can answer any questions you have about guardianship and can also relay information regarding POA and duties. As POA (depends on how it's written) if you mom is not capable to managing her affairs, you should have the legal right to buy and sell property, manage her bank accounts, income etc. as well as make medical decisions and apply for services that she could benefit from. I find it helps to speak with someone in person, the staff at the AAA will be able to assist you in exploring options. If your brothers continue with their exploitation (or try to), you can contact Adult Protective Services. Sometimes just a visit or a call from an APS worker (to your brother(s)) will be enough to stop their behavior.
Power of Attorney is worthless when someone has dementia. You must have Guardianship if you wish to make choices for your parent. Guardianship can be compared to parental rights over a minor child. This is a very difficult route to pursue and depending on the state requirements vary. You must prove mental incompetence and the need for guardianship. It's never a fast process and can be an expensive process.
Adult Protective Services can be helpful in insuring that there is no immediate jeopardy for the parent with dementia but you must get guardianship if you are planning long term. Getting APS involved can cause more problems. If they can't figure out what or who is a threat to the parent they may opt to have the state seek guardianship. If that happens the state Office of the Public Guardian does not want to manage all of the risks that can be involved with someone they have guardianship over and will put the person in a nursing home. This is much easier for the Office of the Public Guardian.
Guardianship is the only way to guarantee you have no problems. Sunflo2 is absolutely right but this takes a very proactive approach. Guardianship guarantees cintrol.
I'm not sure I understand all this, but if you have a DPOA AND an elder is declared incompetent, than they cannot change the DPOA or appoint someone else - so would not guardianship be more than you need - assuming that the elder was declared incompetent. I can see if there is some question of that, then the guardianship would be best, even if expensive. Am I right here?
The brothers who are "borrowing" large sums of money from your mother should be easily stopped. Have nothing which can be used to write them a check in her area. It is shameless to take money from an elder with memory issues while they may need that money for their own care before they pass away.
If you live with your mother, just monitor their contact so they can't take advantage of her. If they are unable to use mom as an ATM machine they will likely not be coming around at all. Just users. Sad.
Good luck.
See All Answers