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Daughter moving in wants to set rules for care and relationship.

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Respect, honesty, don't eat the last one, you mess up you clean up, and the toilet paper roll extends over the top.
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Jessie brought up a good point about parents not realizing that their grown child is a competent adult. My parents still think I am 28 instead of 68, and think that I still have the energy of that 28 year old.... NOT.... I still haven't convinced them that I, like them, fall asleep in front of the TV set :P
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It may also include her private life and need for privacy. It can be difficult for parents to see their children as competent adults. It is always tempting to see them as willful teenagers, even when they're social-security age. :)
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Whatever rules you agree on, put it in writing and both sign it. That includes how much you are paying her for her services, mileage, any cost sharing and don't forget a clause on how to end the contract fairly. Don't expect any heirs to "do the right thing", pay as you go.
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Each case is so individualized it is hard to put together a set of ground rules. It also depends on the health condition of the parents.

If the parents are healthy but in an age decline it is easier to set rules. If the parents have memory issues, then it will be more difficult as they will start to forget the rules and forget how to do things such as using the toilet, that night time is for sleeping, etc.

Please realize if the daughter is moving in with her parents, she is entering the parent trap. Her life as she knows it will disappear. If she is quitting a really good full-time job, she will lose between $285,000 and $325,000 over the years which includes not only loss of salary, it also includes the net worth loss of the health insurance; loss of money being put into social security/ Medicare; loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k); profit sharing; etc. [source: Reuters 5/30/12]
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I think it's smart to have a set of ground rules when any two or more people decide to live together - it can eliminate a lot of misunderstanding and conflict later on. It sounds like your daughter has certain rules in mind. Are there any particular issues you want other posters to weigh in on?
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