Grossed out. Does anyone else have this issue?

I love all the backup posts and thank you so much! I don't know where Willow has that kind of life but for all of us who left our lives thousands of miles away and have no help from anyone it's pretty sad for us and now where is there a clearing in the clouds. I'm on my third year taking care of my mom , have a awful brother who promised to send my mom a ticket to go up north for a couple weeks and at the last minute pulled out. I was so looking forward to time alone and now its all gone!!! I'm sick as h*ll and need a liver transplant...not to put dark clouds on it all but it's all from stress. I love all my buds on here thanks for sharing all your stuff !

Thanks for the encouragement and understanding, lifeexperiences! It's nice to have the support from those in similar situations. I can relate so much to most of what is being said here. It also brings up the question of sovereignty. Why must we live in a society where we are not allowed to take control of our destiny and prevent ourselves from burdening our families? I need to sign off for a day or so, and that last question is an entirely different forum – Thanks for all of the thoughtful feedback – it is heartening to know that others are in similar situations. Blessings to all –

Willows life is not so unusual. Me and my husband and children took care of my mom until sadly, she passed.

I am not being "negative;" I am being positive.

You are right Patrice, Willow is not unusual. The original poster is caring for her husband's aunt, Willow is caring for her own husband, very normal. I'd like to think we'd all take care of our spouses. What I find so appalling (her word) about Willow's post is she claims to be so compassionate for others and yet she shows no empathy for others here who's lives have been tuned upside down. Not everybody has helping family or financial backing. It seems to me that she is trying to belittle people for not liking the dirty, poopy job that was dumped on their doorstep because everybody else in their families turned their backs and walked away. And then the big slap in the face, not only do we not get thanked, we get bossed and blamed. We are the caregivers, we do it whether we want to or not, Willow should be lecturing the ones who deserted their parents, not this group. I moved in with my mom and her sick caregiver. I left my beautiful family, home and closed my store and now somebody is saying it should be my pleasure to change poopy clothing while my sisters have houses up the street from my mom and don't work.

Ilove mom2, I feel you. I have a new way to deal with the constant jeering and insults.
I just tell Mom "No, that's not true. You love me tenderly and appreciate me greatly, as I do you!"
On a me to you note; You're amazing for giving up all of that to care for your Mom.

Also, Willow. Please express your pain. How can we help each other???

Laurie, Thank my for being so kind, my mom died recently, her caregiver was my brother, he died before her. I adored my mom and she adored me. I would have been there for her no matter what anybody else chose to do. The insults were long and hard from my sisters. My mom lived in a big house and her caregiver/my brother was a hoarder/drunk. No easy job...

Pinkzat: I am so sorry for all you are going through and it is "h-e-double hockey sticks" as one southern cousin often uses. I had to leave my home for a long half a year (nothing compared to yours) and live with my elderly mom 500 miles away. Didn't I have a life prior to this? Sure I did, but had to put it all on hold because my brother didn't and wouldn't (his words). Still I can hold my head high, knowing that I did all in my power to aide mother's life, which sadly culminated in her death.

Pinkzat? Bless your heart and liver. You are so knowledgable, get better really fast because we need you to guide us...

there just isn't enough rotation of the earth to spin it as a blessing, but it is what it is. my mother has 11 cats and junk wall to wall and she just sits and eats and complains and says she is going to die...yea she has been dying the last fifty years. my entire existence is taking care of her and her mess, but i still love her. so I have my meltdowns and press ahead. it could always be worse, and i am thankful she can still eat and talk even if it is to complain. my comment is that your reaction is normal but just try not to show it to your aunt.

KSEALE, you submitted a great post, and I second every word you posted! Thank you!

Willows, I agree, that is why the rest of us care for others, that are not are spouses, are on this site. We admire you for taking care of your husband. Can you not spare a bit of compassion for those of us who give up our lives for people who are not our spouses? We get grossed out, so be it? So? You've never been grossed out in your life? After Jesus, you must be the second purest person the world has ever known. When I was a child, like your grandsons, my mother made me do all the ugly caregiving jobs for for my grandmother as you are doing to your grandchildren. You may call that preparing them for life, I consider it robbing them of their childhood. Something was wrong with my mom for making this very young girl empty the potty chair every night night before bed. You must be old, you care more about yourself, than you do about your children and grandchildren. It did not make me be a better caregiver, it made me want to run away!

Correction, ilovemom2. It was my daughter's idea that they move into the apartment upstairs, not mine. Our daughter has always been a very loving, caring, giving person. That's how she was raised. She is the one who established a team here for us to care for her dad (my husband). Her two teenage sons consider it a privilege to be part of the team, and we call the 19-year-old "the papu whisperer" ("papu" is Greek for "grandpa"). He is a born caregiver, and he has his papu eating out of his hand. You have misinterpreted everything I said and arbitrarily put your very own stamp of negativity on what is happening around here. "Robbing them of their childhood?" "Robbing a 16-year-old freshman and a 19-year-old man of their childhood? What is your level of comprehension when you read comments here? Just wondering because your post was not only sarcastic and silly, it made it seem as if I said things I did not say. Shame on you!

I have been considering leaving this site for some time now. With your letter, I know that now I WILL leave it. It's been a trip. I have never read so much narcissism and idle complaining about personal egos in my entire life. Bleh!

Patrice2oz...yes, there are those who have relatively, healthy, elder parents that don't need constant care because they are not ill...and god bless those lucky people. Not everyone has the luxury of taking care of healthy parents until they die. I believe this post pertains to people who have faced great hardships caring for their elderly parents/or relatives. take care!

Willow's, I hope you stay on this site. You do have a lot of knowledge to pass on. My only wish is that you would be compassionate to the people, who are the caregivers, that want to vent and share feelings, no matter how difficult it is to hear and not pass judgement. We get enough of that at home, lol

Wow this has been a real reality check with all of you. I do love being here with all of us that suffer. went to my moms rooms to check on her and there was a big skid mark on her sheets and when I asked her if she needed help she was very mean, 5 minutes later my name name was baby doll! I don't get it and now its time time to find daytime care or assisted living quarters. Please Willow come take care of me . I am am down and out and alone

Willows, please stay, your posts are very encouraging to read.

Just to stick a little humor in here. It was about 80 today.. It was so hot in the house. I finally had to see if the air cond was broken. No my husband had the heat on!

Sounds like something I'd do.

Ha! the people on this site have a great sense of humor!