Grieving. What's the next step? Need advice...

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My Mom will have left me 3 weeks ago tomorrow and I am having a hard time determining my next move.


Option 1: Find another job (which had been the plan when she passed away)


Option 2: Move in with my partner's parents and quit my job


Option 3 : Move to Mexico where my Grandmother's house is paid off, and I have enough savings to feed myself and pay the bills.


The plan had always been to find another job, but I am having a harder time than I thought. I feel like I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I wish would've died with my Mom.

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I would say make not MAJOR decisions for a while. Let yourself grieve and rediscover who you are. YOU as a person not as a Daughter, not as a caregiver, a partner to someone (relationships change when we become focused on being a caregiver rediscover where you are in the relationship)
Option 1. Great it gives you something to focus on, a reason to get up in the morning. Not to mention brings in some $$ to pay the bills and let you enjoy life a bit.
Option 2. What would you do if you moved in with your partners parents? Are you going to become a caregiver again? Or will you be getting a job? (see option 1. )
Option 3. If you move to Mexico to a house that is paid off..are you leaving a good support system?, are you leaving friends?, And you say you have enough savings to feed yourself and pay your bills. Is that all you want to do? You have a partner..where is she or he in this move? What are his or her thoughts on moving? will they move with you?

What you are feeling is grief, sorrow, anger, depression and all of that is normal. If you have not seen your doctor or a doctor in a while it might be time to take care of you. Get a check up, let your doctor know what is going on. Therapy and medications might be helpful if you need them but you need to talk. You need to process what you have gone through. It is difficult to process what is going on emotionally when you are focusing all your energy on the person that you are caring for and now that they are gone it all comes rushing in.
Most things that I have read about grief is that you should not make any major decisions, moving is a biggie for at least 1 year. (typically this is on the death of a spouse but I think 1 year is a good window in a lot of cases)
You will heal, you will always have an ache but an ache we can deal with , it is the sharp pain that hurts so much.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I think I am just grieving and it is a process. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
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Reply to anonymous786886
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Option 2, not good, in my opinion. Never move into another woman's house, it will, always be her house.

I like option 3 if no problem in staying at Gmas. Was the house left to you? You think you can foot the bills, right? I gather you don't care for the job you have so what would you lose quitting? Maybe a little time away from it all will help you in figuring out the next steps in your life.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Onlychild (((((hugs)))))))!!!

You have a job, right?

Dont quit until you have another lined up.

Have you considered finding a therapist to help you through your grieving? If you find yourself wishing you were dead, that sounds like not a good place to be, and you deserve some support and empathy.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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im sorry too. and I read your last post about the funeral. how awful someone told you your plans were half a**   :(

im not sure about quitting a  job before finding a new one. will you lose any health insurance? sometimes its better to find a job, before quitting the one you have.

I have other questions with your options but I don't want to ask too many questions.

I agree not to make too many decisions when you are not thinking clearly. Please give yourself a break - your very first word is "grieving"  - so just do that for now.
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Reply to wally003
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I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not been long. I would allow yourself time to grieve. A grief counselor or support group could be a big help too to get you through this and even help you to slowly determine your next step.

I wouldn't make any major decisions for awhile if you don't absolutely have to. It's hard enough during this time after just losing your mom. Just be easy on yourself. (((Hugs)))
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Reply to FrazzledMama
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