Dad and I couldn't get along in the same room for an hour, so why am I so sad he' s gone?

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My dad died a week ago. He and I never got on well from my early childhood on. I could never seem to get his attention unless he was yelling at me. Once when I was four he slugged me so hard one of my baby teeth came out. I lost the remote when I was 12 and he scared me so badly that I ran non stop to a friend's house a half mile away. He never failed to tell me what was wrong with me, sowhy am I so sad now that he's gone? I had to leave work the other day because I couldn't stop crying. Today my husband asked if we had any plans tomorrow because.he had to go into work tomorrow (saturday), and I flipped. How dare he present it to me as a choice when really it isn't one. He knows it takes most of the day since he works far away. I way overreacted. Not having lost a parent before, is it normal for grief to just come up and take dump on your metaphorical cornflakes like that?

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Thank you all for the reassurances. I will wonder if all is ok, then I realize it's only been a couple of weeks which isn' t very long. My friends are as supportive as can be but haven't lost parents so it is helpful to hear it from someone who has bee
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You are greiving the loss of your father, the loss of a childhood relationship regardless of whether there was a close relationship or not.You love your father so grieve the the loss both present and past. Some mortuaries or churches may offer bereivement class for those who have lost someone, check into that in your area. What you are feeling is normal. Grief is individual and has no time limit so don't rush yourself. My heart goes out to you during this time.
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I think regardless of the relationship...as a child you want the love or affection you didn't get and maybe this is playing a part. Maybe it is also that you might feel relief at his passing and maybe because of this you feel sad and confused. Try to talk to someone. If you can't afford counseling some states have free counseling or sliding payment scales. Just explain what you are feeling to your husband and say sorry I snapped.
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My mom died little over a year ago, so I do know a little about grief. Even though we were all with her when she drew her last breath, and the cancer had ravaged her body till she basically died of starvation, it was still hard to see her go. I believe wholeheartedly when God said in the Bible that we will see her again, so why was it so hard? It's like saying goodbye to the end of an era, a way of thinking that she was never going to die. Sounds crazy I guess, but knowing that that part of my life is over is sad. Next it will be my dad, then my husband's mom, then on and on and on it goes. I came home after they came and took her body to the morgue, and wailed. I find myself crying suddenly out of the blue, when something will flash that reminds me of her. For you, maybe part of the grief you're feeling is the loss of what you never had. Like mourning the loss of a terrible marriage, because really you're mourning over how it could've been, or the what if's that you never got to experience. Give yourself time to mourn those things, but relish in the fact that you came out okay and have a loving family as proof. And find a way to make it up to your hubby. ♥
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