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My mother passed November 29. She has been suffering for years. I was everything to her except a 24/7 caregiver. I hired a daytime person. For the past two years since my father's death, I've become completely consumed by her and for her. She became my baby. I anticipated her needs, kept contact with doctors, took care of her financials, and all the rest of it, etc.

I am lost. I feel like a little girl in a great big department store who loses sight of her mother and wanders around saying, "Where is my mother? How do I find her? What happens if I cannot find her?" I am devastated by the loss of her. I want to feel her hand again, feel her skin against my cheek, polish her nails for her... I am completely grief stricken. I can't sleep at night. My thoughts of her torture me.

I just feel so lost! I am a grown woman, for Pete's sake, and I feel like I still need her. She was with me during every event in my life and my children's lives. She taught me much, and both of us have the same "way" about us, even the same body shape and bone structure.

Perhaps the loss feels like I died along with her?

I would like to hear how others cope when they lose someone they loved for their entire lifetime. This doesn't mean she and I were not without conflict between us. As a matter of fact, she drove me quite batty at times! But now, I will never hear her voice again. The sadness is overwhelming me.

Please help.

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I went to grief counseling. My mother was also my best friend. She has been gone 5 years and I can just now get thru saying something about her to others without breaking down. I think of her every day just like she is still with me and still cry a lot. Just be gentle with yourself and get through minutes and hours and the days take care of themselves. I find that when I do something like she did or hear my own laugh which sounds like her I do feel she is still with and it makes me feel happy for a bit. I also have the greatest dog that snuggles me and lets me hug him til Im not sad.
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Jeanne's right. It's only been a little over a week. You are right where you should be in the grieving process. Don't rush it. My dad's been gone over a year and I still feel a pain in my heart when I think of him (and I think of him everyday).
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Let the waves wash over you and cry as much as you need to. Then redirect your thoughts to happier times. Pull out of the hole.
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Your mother has been gone one week. It is not realistic to expect to remember her without pain at her loss. What you are feeling is normal. You will miss her forever, but the intense pain and consuming grief will lessen and you will be able to resume a meaningful life. Give yourself time.

My husband died on November 29 -- two years ago. Sadness over the loss comes in waves. I know this is normal.

If six months from now you are still feeling this intense pain constantly, perhaps it would help to discuss it with a grief support group or a therapist. But for now, know that it is normal and that you will gradually heal and get on with your life.
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