My mother passed November 29. She has been suffering for years. I was everything to her except a 24/7 caregiver. I hired a daytime person. For the past two years since my father's death, I've become completely consumed by her and for her. She became my baby. I anticipated her needs, kept contact with doctors, took care of her financials, and all the rest of it, etc.
I am lost. I feel like a little girl in a great big department store who loses sight of her mother and wanders around saying, "Where is my mother? How do I find her? What happens if I cannot find her?" I am devastated by the loss of her. I want to feel her hand again, feel her skin against my cheek, polish her nails for her... I am completely grief stricken. I can't sleep at night. My thoughts of her torture me.
I just feel so lost! I am a grown woman, for Pete's sake, and I feel like I still need her. She was with me during every event in my life and my children's lives. She taught me much, and both of us have the same "way" about us, even the same body shape and bone structure.
Perhaps the loss feels like I died along with her?
I would like to hear how others cope when they lose someone they loved for their entire lifetime. This doesn't mean she and I were not without conflict between us. As a matter of fact, she drove me quite batty at times! But now, I will never hear her voice again. The sadness is overwhelming me.