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My husband died of cancer and I moved in with my mother who has Alzheimers to help. I had no intention to stay forever but now both sisters have assumed I am and now I find that I am loosing my mind and not getting anytime to myself at all. One sister is out of state and only comes down a couple of times a year, the other comes over twice a week and on weekends. I work so I have caregivers taking care of her monday tuesday and thursday and my sister watches her wednesday and friday. However, the money we get from va doesn't cover the cost just for the three days for the caregivers and I have to pay the difference. I really don't mind as I don't pay rent but I do pay all the bills and the taxes. What I really need is some time for myself. I don't feel like I have ever grieved for my husband and went straight to taking care of my mom. I feel like I am loosing it and no one seems to understand. How can I get some help and relief? Any suggestions?

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Sorry, I lost my husband two years ago in November. I am POA for my mother.
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First suggestion is a selfish one, I'm afraid - please take the Caps Lock off your keyboard. Block capitals are rough on the eyes for the reader.

How long ago did you lose your husband? I'm very sorry for your loss, and that you don't feel you've had time or space to adjust.

Does anyone have formal power of attorney for your mother?
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Try your local Visiting Nurse Service or Senior Center. They may have options that are less expensive than traditional care givers. I so get your feelings of isolation and being frazzled. I stayed with my parents when my mom had a stroke and my dad had dementia. I thought I was going to lose my mind. We did use caregivers at one time. I was riddled with guilt at first due to the cost, but the sanity was worth it.
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