Grief: Is it normal to feel like this?

Sorry for your loss. Your torrent of emotions is just a way of your body and mind releasing all the stress, tension, anxiety, and work you've been doing for a long time. Plus now that you have time to yourself, you are likely wondering: No what? You've forgotten how to be you without first thinking of someone who needed your attention at all times. I agree with those suggesting perhaps a grief group might be helpful. Take care of yourself now.

So sorry for your loss and anguish. The loss isn’t so long ago, the pain is still fresh, be gentle with yourself. Many have been helped through GriefShare, they meet all over, often in churches though you don’t have to be a church person to attend. I hope you’ll find peace

It's been less than two months. This doesn't go away quickly. Give yourself time, and join a grief support group if necessary.

My mother died on July 26 -- 2021 -- and there isn't a day that goes by that I'm still not grieving the loss. I'm also just as raw over my dad's death in 2018, but I never really had the time to grieve, because Mom's care took all my energy.

Grieving truly is a process and it takes time to get past, because it isn't just the loss of someone you loved that you have to adapt to but also the new reality of living a completely different life without them in it. It's a lot to take in and process.

I suggest reading the book "Healing After Loss," by Martha Hickham. You read just one page a day, so it isn't too much to take in. It's a year's worth of readings, and you start on whatever date you want. It's a very helpful book, and you should look into a grief support group if you continue to feel overwhelmed by it.

So sorry for the loss of your Mom. It is still quite recent so you are still in the initial stages of grief. That being said, your problems with lack of sleep are troubling. Call your therapist's office to see if she has someone covering for her while she is on maternity leave. Check in with your personal physician to see if there is something you can take as a sleep aid (you might want to get a full checkup with blood work at this time just to establish a baseline).

Above remember the good times you had with your Mom. She knows that you did the best you could in caring for her. Remember that she loves you and wants you to live a full and beautiful life and enjoy your child and husband. Be at peace. The sun is still shining and once you get some sleep and it's rays will brighten your days again.

My condolences on the loss of your dear mom. The grief is still raw, and I'm sure you are feeling it intensely, as expressed in your post.

I think you should speak to your doctor about the insomnia you are experiencing. Grief is a natural part of loss, but when it extends into insomnia which includes memory loss (from lack of sleep in my opinion), it needs to be medically addressed and corrected with medication. At least for a while until the rawness heals a bit and you're back to some sense of stability. I had a traumatic experience when I found my birth family in 2000 and was unable to stop crying, could not sleep, eat, or function in the most basic of ways. I was also very hyper sensitive to noise; if I heard a kitchen cabinet door shut, I was jumping out of my skin. That's known as a heightened 'startle reflex'..........I was easily startled, which is a sign of anxiety. The doctor put me on Paxil and it was as if a switch was turned off in my body and mind; I was finally able to sleep again and to FUNCTION as a human being. I was able to think clearly again and to remember things, and to put everything in my life back into its proper perspective, which I had lost the ability to do. I was hyper focused on death and fearful of everything, feeling convinced I was dying or that something horrible was about to happen to me. All part of PTSD or bad anxiety, that the Paxil cured for me, thank God.

Reach out to your doctor b/c this has been going on for nearly 2 months now. You need relief. Sometimes our bodies and minds are working overtime and need help to calm down. I know mine did.

Wishing you the best of luck finding relief from this anxiety.

Hello Anche71,
i am so sorry to read of the passing your mom. It can be so devastating. As others have said this is just part of grieving.

i have sadly lost my father (in 2009) and my mother (in 2020) and both times (this may sound odd and selfish) but there was a feeling I had that I could almost physically feel which was that with each passing there was one less person in the world who truly loved me. I know a selfish thought but it was part of how I felt. I still have nightmares about my parents. Most are guilt related etc and they are awful. I also find that I have trouble speaking the right words at times, I will get overly anxious over things that would never have made me anxious prior to my mother’s passing. And even doing things like organizing my mother “estate” seems an impossible task. The moment I sit down to start it if something is missing or a step is not as straightforward as I assumed it would be my mind just stops and I can no longer work on it. This is so not like me but I assume it is grief related. All of this to say that we all react to grief differently at different stages of grief. It is all normal. Try not to worry too much about how you are feeling this loss is very recent for you it all sadly takes time. Be gentle with yourself and let yourself feel what your body, mind and heart need to feel and try to move forward a bit a little at a time. There is no schedule to correct time that grieving should last we are all different.

i am so sorry for your loss. I pray that things get better for you soon.

God bless.

Thank you dear freqflyer to have been so kind and answer me.

Anche71, first so sorry to read about the passing of your mother.

What you are going through is grief and stress as it was just this past July. If you were older I would say it was just normal age decline. Both my partner and I sometimes can't find the right words to use and we just poke fun at each other for doing it. It can make for interesting sentences.

Like you said, maybe you just need time.