Greedy and selfish sister. Advice?

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My sister gets paid as a caregiver from a Medicaid company to care for our grandpa but she does the bare minimum (I'm actually doing most of the work). She is actually scamming Medicaid and exploiting me. My mother (grandpa's Power of Attorney) knows about it and will cover and defend her for it. While my sister is on the clock, she is out working some other job and I am the one filling in for her taking care of grandpa. I cook, clean, make sure grandpa bathes, take him to adult daycare, make sure he is fed, make sure he takes his meds, does his laundry, etc. When my sister comes home from work, all she does is relaxes and does what she wants. She lives with grandpa so she is more like a sitter making sure grandpa is alive and breathing. And Medicaid can only pay for 1 caregiver. I told Medicaid about it to 2 employees and one of them told my mom what I said and mom screamed at me and said "Do you want your sister to go to jail? What do you want?!" I believe the person who is actually working and doing the job should be the one who is getting paid. Not only that, my sister doesn't even contribute financially and she is generating more than 1 income and she doesn't help out. She claims she has no money (since she has debt to pay off so she says) and she doesn't even pay for gas when my parents take her to and from work. She eats the food that I buy and cook and doesn't want to help out with the groceries or share her food or anything else she owns. She is greedy and selfish and hasn't appreciated or expressed her gratitude about anything I've done for her. I can't talk to my parents about this because they side with my sister and they are all negative and verbally abusive people. If I communicate with my sister, she may become vindictive, passive aggressive, and manipulative. I can not say anything positive about my sister. I don't know who to talk to about this. I'm taking care of grandpa because he has dementia and he took care of me when I was young.

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Caregiver, do you all live together in the same house? Do you live with grandpa and/or with your parents? What is it that you Need from us? What is it that you WANT out of this situation. It's really hard to give advice without more info.

This is my take on the situation based on what you wrote. You are the black sheep of the family (as in Not the Golden child). You are the one who always ends up doing all the work and yet everyone gets the praise. You also have a heart because you allow your family to treat you like this. I, agree with you. If I was doing all the work, I should be the one to get paid.

Now, you have already tried going thru Medicaid about sis not doing the work. They verified it with your mom. I'm sure that now, they believe your mom and you sound like you don't know what you're talking about. You can continue to try to talk the Medicaid person and continue to get in trouble with your family.

Do you have a job, even a part-time job? If not, can you try to find an outside job (part-time) and still help grandpa? Once you have a job, you will find that you have a backbone which never showed when you were at your family's mercy. I found this to be true for myself. Plus, when my family criticizes me, customers at work praise me for my work. If you can find this positive in your life, I think you will be able to still hep grandpa and not put up with so much abuse from the family. As it is now, your family will continue to use you for Free Labor and treat you accordingly.

I'm not that familiar with Medicaid to give you advice. Maybe call their 1-800 fraud line? Or do they have a 1-800 Medicaid help line where you can bring up the home situation and ask what is needed so that you get paid and not sis? Just know this, when your family finds out, they will get really mad at you and might kick you out.

IF I misunderstood your question, please clarify.
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Your sister is living in your grandfather's? mother's? house and is scamming Medicaid while you do all the worK? She is a freeloader, too. I know it's easier said than done, but you need to walk away from this. People will take advantage of you as long as you let them.
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Set boundaries and hopefully you don't live with grandpa. Only you can allow yourself to be taken advantage of. STOP! Stop enabling sister to have it easy and get paid.

If you don't care about a relationship with mom and sis; then you could alert Medicare of the abuse but I suggest you will need witnesses and documented proof. Buying groceries, helping with grandpas care, etc doesnt make a case.

I would just walk away and let sister and mom take full responsibility for grandpas care, this scheme will work itself out and mom won't like having to fill in.

Visit grandpa only when they are present and limit the time so they can't run out for an errand and leave you caring for hrs on end.

Good luck.
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I agree with Macada. You CAN do it!
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Do you live with your grandfather too? Why did you take on the position of caregiver? If I were you, I would find a job that pays MONEY, not one that expects you to work for free. I would let your sister and mother take care of your grandfather and you can visit him as his granddaughter. Walk away from this situation as soon as possible. Although unintentionally, you are enabling your sister to abuse the system, as long as you are doing the job she is being paid to do, she doesn't have to. Tell your mother to care for her own father. It's about self respect and not being taken advantage of. Move on to a job that will earn you an income and visit grandpa on a regular basis. You can do it!
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Agreed, you are an enabler you can turn her in anonymousely.
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What Twocents said.
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excuse me, medicaid.
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Turn sis into Medicare and tell mom where to go.
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