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Grandparents are 93, live at home, gma is depressed and sleeps until 3-5pm, cancels dr appts, will not entertain the thought of moving, is in constant pain, won't take depression meds, struggling to cook and clean, gpa struggles to take care of house and still mows and drives when he shouldn't be, they either accept help and then complain too expensive and don't have them return or they won't accept it at all, they are on 2 different pages on what is needed for the home so fight.....we are all burnt out and at the end of what to do. Any suggestions?

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WW has the right idea. Maybe if you can get in contact with a local AL facility and speak with their social worker, explain your situation. They would probably know best how to help with getting your grandparents more amenable to the idea of it.
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Thank you for your suggestions. We have taken pamphlets, we have talked gently with them, I think that now we need to be a little more forceful with them. Yes, gpa mowing is bad, he has rolled the mower over on himself last year and it could have been really bad. It doesn't change his being stubborn. I talked with my dad about purposely breaking the mower, which I feel bad about, but we don't know what else to do. It is difficult and again, I appreciate your kind words. I think we may be at the point where it will unfortunately take something bad happening if we are unable, yet again, to reason with them.
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I would strongly suggest Assisted Living if they can afford it. Grandpa, at 93, probably should not be mowing. And Grandma would be more inclined to get out of bed if she had something to look forward to - even if it was getting up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plus, usually with Assisted Living, there are activities they could participate in with people their own age and their room would be cleaned and vaccumed regularly by somone - so it wouldn't be their responsibility anymore - unless they just want to do it. Get some pamphlets and information about some in your area and approach them about it. And if they're not keen on that, their children need to inform them that if they want to stay home, they have to accept the help - no exceptions. It's great that at 93 they are doing so well, imo, but it's unfair that their children and grandchildren are so worried about them - as expected - because of their ages. Maybe a heart to heart talk will help them understand. Good luck!!
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