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MY grandmother yet again has stop eating and is eating very very little. Last year she was put into the hospital twice and this year she did it back in February but later rebounded. It is getting very tiring since she is taking her medicine yet she refuses to eat for no reason and I have to coax her into it. She hasn't eaten a full meal since Wednesday to be exact. Thursday to now Wednesday she just nit picked at her food or didn't eat at all on some days such as Sunday and Monday. I feel like I'm at wits ends with her she refuses medical treatment since she has been cleared of any mental disturbances as and as her POA its very difficult since I'm only 20. I have yet to been able to go out at all this summer as well as land a job since she seem to go into a tantrum in front of a manager or she will simply stop eating as she is doing now. I don't know what else to do since she refuses to pay off any of the doctors from her last hospital stay and I can't pay them myself since I have to go through her 1st and even when I had done that she was very upset. I just don't know what else to do now. Should I try to get her to eat more or should I try to get a doctor in since she's too weak to drive she has some slight twitching and she already fell twice. I feel like giving up on her because she just won't listen at all and even when i tried to get her last doctor in to help her doctor just simply seem not care at all.

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Lillyrae, please keep us posted. Don't let another doctor sweep this under the rug. Grama needs help. Before she's discharged they have to make sure she has a place to go back to that can take care of her needs. Tell them everything you told us and that you can't keep taking care of her. They will have to arrange for her care in another way. You need to start taking care of yourself. You can visit often wherever she goes. This is workable.
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Thank you for the update. It is really good that Gramma is getting the medical attention she needs. You made a good decision to get her there.

The hospital has social workers who help plan discharges and let the patient know about options etc. Ask to speak to the social worker now -- don't wait for a hurried discussion before discharge. As mrsribit and nj2bfree say, this is the time to make it known that you cannot be her sole caregiver, and that she needs more help than you can provide 24/7 and that discharging her back to her home without assistance in place will be dangerous.

You are doing a great job.
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Lillyrae, You have done the best you can. You have been thrown into a situation which is way too hard. I give you credit for trying. I totally agree with Mrs. Ribit. Something needs to be done prior to hospital discharge. And the way insurance reimburses the hospital, they will have her discharged as soon as possible. The depression could be one of the main reasons she is not eating/drinking... hence the dehydration. Make it very clear to your grandma's caseworker you can not manage her at home. I would also let the case worker know there are relatives who have taken advantage of her which is a form of Elder Abuse...... Keep strong.....
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Lillyrae, sorry for all you are going through. You need to contact the Lawyer your Grandmother and yourself worked with when you signed the POA, and have him/her contact the Social Worker/Nurse at the Hospital and get Status of your Grandmother direct, then lawyer would be in best position to advise you what can or cannot be done. Don't go by what other people are saying or determining. You have the POA, and the hospital, doctor, your Uncle, etc., would have to have grounds to have it nullified, and until then, it is legally binding. If your Uncle has one to present that is dated after yours, etc., that will need to be address, and reasons why your Grandmother assigned POA to you, etc., instead of him in the first place. Keep us posted! Chin up!
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I will and thank you. I got advice from an ex attorney and he told me what grandma's friend told me was wrong. He gave me an attorney that might have some advice for me and might be able to help me if I need it. I'm hoping everything gets better but I might have to talk to him and see if I can get something moving about what and why are they doing things without my consent.
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Awwh, sweetie, you are welcome!

We are all here to support each other. Don't wait to see if things will improve though, otherwise they make take actions like moving her, etc., that will need to be addressed on top of everything else.

Best to take the bull by the horns and get legal help in play now. Great on the ref you got - also talk to lawyer that you and your Grandmother used services when you both signed POA. They would be best placed to site her state of mind, etc., when she undertook action to give you POA. Let us know what happens, all the best!
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lillyrae, as caprica says, your POA status cannot be overridden just on uncle's say-so. It is perfectly valid for a 20-year-old to be POA in Pennsylvania.

I suggest that you contact that lawyer who was recommended to you and not wait to see if things will get better.

Being in the nursing home might just be what is best for Grandma. And having her son take over responsibilities might also be suitable. But those decisons need to involve the person Gramda designated to make them ... namely, you!

Please, contact the lawyer. It is obvious you are being ignored and I don't think it will get better on its own ... in the eyes of the hospital and your uncle, you are just a kid. In the eyes of the law, you have legal responsibilities for acting on your GM's behalf.
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Here is an long awaited update.
Good news she is home and walking better than ever. the doctor tested her and there is no sign of dementia and her cause of losing her appetite was ulcers which she is prescribed some medicine for that. She is no long on anti-depressants either. She's looking better and is back to normal but we're going to get out of the house more this time. Thank you for the prayers and kindness here :) thanks again!
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The neighbor probably means well ... or maybe not. Who knows? But she isn't doing well. She sounds toxic for your needs. No harm in listening to input from a number of sources. But then you need to think it through carefully on your own and make your own decisions.

Grandma says she is willing to move. When it comes right down to it maybe she will and maybe she won't. But don't base your decisions on the neighbor's predictions!

Try to spend a lot less time with the toxic neighbor. You are doing amazingly well on your own!
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Thank you. A good friend of the family told me to just stop talking with her about person things.He said its okay to tell her she's doing good but if she wants to pry into your personal business just tell her you and her have it all sorted out. He said just try to get out there see something new and knowing your grandma she will make sure you get there so no need to worry about that he told me but he said like you said to avoid people who are bringing you down. You don't need anyone putting you down while you're rising up. Thank you again!
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