My 80+ grandparent keeps tripping over her flea bag dog. What can I do?

Follow
Share

Grandparent refusing to get rid of dog. It's a huge danger to her. She believes it's her protector but she has already broken her pelvis and has fallen again... twice and who knows how many more times... she's in pain and refuses to go to the doctors and hospital. I'm afraid she will not get up if she falls again. What can I do? She refuses every advice!!!

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
8

Answers

Show:
I am noting all the advice. I am also very thankful for you taking your precious time out of your day to speak with me. I appreciate all of the help and I will definitely give my sister this forum info. Thats a wonderful idea.

My gma wants nothing to do with her daughter. This boils down to I need advice to go about how to remove this dog. Which You provided. Thank you!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This person who is trying to help your grandmother is... who? Your sister?


So essentially what this boils down to is that your mother thinks your grandmother should be in the nearest nursing home, and your sister is hoping to offer her the better option of Assisted Living, and your grandmother won't hear of either idea?

If the dog is flea-ridden, not house-trained and in the charge of someone (that's grandma) who can't be relied on to provide it with food, water, exercise and veterinary attention as needed, you can call an animal welfare organisation and have it removed.

If your grandmother were that bothered about her wishes being respected, she would fill out the forms specifying her wishes and she would give somebody she trusts power of attorney. You can infer from her refusal to do these things that she chooses instead to be passive - to complain at length, while refusing to take up any of the options that would make a difference to what happens. That's the opposite of having a firm, fixed intention. Actions speak louder than words. Listen to them.

Her decline is sad for anyone who cares about her to witness. But that doesn't mean you have the power to prevent it, especially not if she won't work with you. I recommend you put your sister onto this site and let her vent. She is not alone in her frustrations, and she might genuinely find it comforting to hear from others who share her experience.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Obviously, I didn't paint the full picture and only gave bits and pieces. Everyone is trying to walk on eggshells with her and it's not working. I tried calling her explaining how important it is to sign her POA so if she ends up in the hospital again our drunk mother can't come and try to take charge over the situation and I heard if there is a disbute over who gets to say what happens to gma the state will intervene. Which is where asstented living came into the convo. We DO NOT want her in a home because she doesn't want that. She refuses to write out her wishes (I don't know why) ...

Actually, it isn't me. It's someone who truely puts in time to help her for all selfless reason. She is trying to help her as much as possible but with gma stubbornness it's like trying to ride a wild bull with your hands tied behind your back. She wants to live out gma wishes (while she's unresponsive in the hospital and doesn't want the state to take over.. talking about the POA) but also wants her to live a healthy clean life. It's not "her" dog. The dog is her adoptive sons dog who is moving out. Instead of taking the dog with him. He doesn't want the dog around the new baby... because it's not potty trained.. He convinced gma to keep the dog to protect her. See it's not that she loves the dog. She hates the dog.


I just want my gma to be happy and to live in a safe environment... and to stop seeing my sister cry because she fears she'll find gma dead because of that damn dog.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The one person who truly has her best interest in mind... that's you, is it?

But you're telling her that you want to take her dog away, drag her out of her home, force medical attention on her and lock her away in care. Strangely, she's not taking you up on the offer.

Call APS, or whichever social services apply in your area, report that there is an elderly lady living alone who has a fractured pelvis, is immobile, and is not accepting help with meals or medical attention. They will call at her house and carry out an assessment. If they then agree that there is a need for it, they can make things happen that you, a private citizen, can't.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

She doesn't even care for the dog. She was convicted by someone else she needs it for her protection. The dog is a health hazard. Between the fleas (which can be treated) and the fact it's not potty trained. Gma, can't bend down to clean the messes. The dog has zero awareness of where gma is at and runs through her legs. Honestly, after the phone call we had I think she's highly depressed and what's to die. She told me "I rather die than have someone tell me what to do" and the other day she told me she would eat a bottle of pills before she goes into a nursing home... (this was about giving the one person who truely has her best interest in mind POA WHILE she's unresponsive...( she has COPD, serve chronic heart, and now a fractured pelvis.) she hasn't ate since her fall two weeks ago, no bathroom visits, in pain and still refuses to see doc or go to ER... so in my eyes. She's ready to go... it's a lot more than just getting the dog out.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Hi. Agree with freq flyer. She loves her dog. Is there any way to 1: get a flea treatment for her pet and the carpeting? 2: get her glasses adjusted so she can see the dog ? 3 : explain to her she has to use her wheeling walker because she may end up really hurting her dog if she falls on him/ her again? That may make her feel she has a responsibility to her dog and also reinforces her desire to use her walker for her safety
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

She has one but refuses to use her it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Has anyone bought your Grandmother a rolling walker that she can use? Less possibility of her tripping over her dog. Pet owners who love their animals will not get rid of them, that's like telling someone to get rid of their child. Can someone in the family take the dog to a groomers for a bath once in awhile?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions