Forgetting driving past her old house; and - sorry, I didn't really understand this bit - asking whether you were in a car or her/your can? What did this mean?
It's not a lot for her doctor to go on, is it?
One thing you need not worry about at all is the doctor or the home health people imagining that *you* are telling lies about your grandmother's behaviour. They will know better than that. But, take the bathing as an example. She says yesterday, you say two weeks ago. Okay; so let's say they're perfectly well aware that your version is the real story. What are they going to do about it? Seize hold of your grandma and put her in the tub anyway, saying 'we know you haven't had a bath for over a week and you lied to us'? Argue with her? Just because they don't want to get into a confrontation with your grandmother it doesn't mean they don't believe you. But she's the client, and they'll be choosing their battles carefully.
The thing to do is keep on keeping on. You are doing the right things. Keep the home health visits going; because even if they can't persuade your grandma to bathe, at least they're more pairs of eyes on her living situation to back you up if and when you need to ask for more help. Keep a record of problems, and report any changes to her doctor. Don't *worry* that your grandmother contradicts you: no one is going to accuse you of anything if you make a report and she happens to give a different opinion. Just "tell the truth and shame the Devil" as the old saying goes.
One thing you perhaps do need to be careful about is the money. Keep careful track of who is paying for what; keep bills, statements etc. in a safe place; and keep your money separate from hers. Accusations of theft are very common in seniors with dementia, and they can cause a heck of a lot of trouble if you don't have clear accounts. So look out for that one.
It might be quickest and easiest, once you get over the eeeuuuw feeling, to clean your grandmother's dentures yourself. Scrub them thoroughly under running water with an ordinary toothbrush, 10-15 minutes in a glass of Steradent solution, rinse well, and you're done. My mother's partial denture used to turn up in all sorts of unexpected places. You start finding it funny eventually... :/
Also she has false teeth and she will not clean them . I have done everything for her to do that and all she has to do is put her teeth by the bed.... omg .... it's terrible. ..
My grandfather passed away in 08 and I have been living with her off and on since then. We live together... Yes I am her caregiver. ..I don't look at it that way, but no one else cares and it's sad.... I'm her grandaughter... I am 38... We help ea. Other financial, but I work full time as a hairdresser and I stay on my feet alt... but my point is this.... I have had home health come and help me when I talked to her doc about her lie in to her and just telling her what she wants to hear.... She tells lies so much and what really hurts me is, I have always been there for her when her own children were stealing her money, ... Which she don't have any but a mo check. Which thank the Lord for that.... I do my best not to argue with her as much as I used to because I really think she is getting the early signs of demtca. ... I spoke to the doc out side of the room cuz she will not tell the truth and when I told her doc about one occasion. ... I'll tell you... As a child me and my siblings lived in this home in my home town that we moved backed here a year and half ago.... I took her by that house 5 times ... She sayes I never took her by there and she sayes these things in front of ppl and she looks at me like I'm a crazy person. Also one time on our way to the doc. She asked me if we were in the car or my can. That scared the hell out of me. And the doc acted like it was nothing... now am I over reacting or what? Also she smells and I talk to her about it and she sayes she don't want to or just whatever excuse .... She also told the home health ppl which were great that she took a bath yesterday and I said no it has been 2 weeks , I said this in front of the nurse and the LPN that was there to help her, but she also started taking a bath on her on before they got there and made me look like the liar. Now I love my grandmother very much and I do everything in my power to give her respect but I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.... Please help me Thanks, Kristy Wright
Hi Kristy Are you your GM caretaker? Does she live with you or you with her? Does she live alone? An adult who lives alone and takes care of themselves can choose to hoard and not bath. It's not against the law. It's very distressing but not illegal. You can do a search on this site and you will find many discussions on both hoarding and bathing. It's a frequent topic. Well hoarding can be against the law if it attracts rodents, is offensive to neighborhood etc. There are of course degrees of hoarding. The not bathing usually has something to do with fear of falling or of being too cold. Most enjoy the bath once it's begun and it gets easier after you get a routine going. Also look up confabulation. You may find that your GM has other situations where she remembers things incorrectly.
It's not a lot for her doctor to go on, is it?
One thing you need not worry about at all is the doctor or the home health people imagining that *you* are telling lies about your grandmother's behaviour. They will know better than that. But, take the bathing as an example. She says yesterday, you say two weeks ago. Okay; so let's say they're perfectly well aware that your version is the real story. What are they going to do about it? Seize hold of your grandma and put her in the tub anyway, saying 'we know you haven't had a bath for over a week and you lied to us'? Argue with her? Just because they don't want to get into a confrontation with your grandmother it doesn't mean they don't believe you. But she's the client, and they'll be choosing their battles carefully.
The thing to do is keep on keeping on. You are doing the right things. Keep the home health visits going; because even if they can't persuade your grandma to bathe, at least they're more pairs of eyes on her living situation to back you up if and when you need to ask for more help. Keep a record of problems, and report any changes to her doctor. Don't *worry* that your grandmother contradicts you: no one is going to accuse you of anything if you make a report and she happens to give a different opinion. Just "tell the truth and shame the Devil" as the old saying goes.
One thing you perhaps do need to be careful about is the money. Keep careful track of who is paying for what; keep bills, statements etc. in a safe place; and keep your money separate from hers. Accusations of theft are very common in seniors with dementia, and they can cause a heck of a lot of trouble if you don't have clear accounts. So look out for that one.
It might be quickest and easiest, once you get over the eeeuuuw feeling, to clean your grandmother's dentures yourself. Scrub them thoroughly under running water with an ordinary toothbrush, 10-15 minutes in a glass of Steradent solution, rinse well, and you're done. My mother's partial denture used to turn up in all sorts of unexpected places. You start finding it funny eventually... :/
What's the hoarding all about?
Thanks, Kristy Wright
Are you your GM caretaker? Does she live with you or you with her? Does she live alone? An adult who lives alone and takes care of themselves can choose to hoard and not bath. It's not against the law. It's very distressing but not illegal. You can do a search on this site and you will find many discussions on both hoarding and bathing. It's a frequent topic. Well hoarding can be against the law if it attracts rodents, is offensive to neighborhood etc. There are of course degrees of hoarding. The not bathing usually has something to do with fear of falling or of being too cold. Most enjoy the bath once it's begun and it gets easier after you get a routine going. Also look up confabulation. You may find that your GM has other situations where she remembers things incorrectly.