My elderly grandmother is an 89 year old widow and lives independently. I come by 3-4 times a week to do shopping and housework and other small tasks. I see her more than anyone else and we have a very good relationship. I’ve been taking care of my granny for 10 years now. My aunt lives 2 hours away and only sees her during Holidays or when she is in town for business. My mother also visits once a week, but I am the primary caregiver. My granny has bad knees and a bad back and her mobility is limited to using 2 canes (she'd rather die than be seen in a wheelchair) She does not get out of the house, only to see the doctor 2-3 times a year. The only way most people can visit with her is to come into her home, but she won't make the trip out to see them. My question is, why is it that my grandmother turns down our invitations to dinner and other outings but will only accept outings with my aunt? We are the relatives she sees most often but is constantly turning us down saying we give her a short notice when we want to go out. My aunt sometimes tells her a day or two before she actually comes into town. This has troubled me for a long time because I love my granny and want to enjoy her as long as she has left with us.
I have Mother 24/7 and the silbings that show up when convenient to them and entertain are wonderful; I am the help in her opinion and theirs. I guess because they have never changed a diaper, held a throw up bucket or bathed her maybe they give her a sense of dignity while I take care of the everyday stuff.
Also, your aunt is your grandmas daughter. My mom always took myside if anyone hurt my feelings. Just MHO.