I don't even know where to begin with this story. My Grandmother is only 66 years old but she is neglecting her health and I'm very afraid for her. She has diabetes and I know she doesn't go to the doctors. When I go see her or take her out to lunch I can tell she is experiencing some mental status changes. She won't admit it but I know that she is having real trouble seeing. She shuffles around and feels things before she looks at them and she never looks like she's actually looking at anything. She has lost a lot of weight in the past year and its very alarming to me. My grandmother has always been a strong solid overweight woman and now she looks weak, frail and like she's wasting away.
I am not happy with her living conditions she is a bit of a hoarder, she always has been. Not to the extent of people on TV shows yesterday when I went to visit her she was bracing her stomach and when I asked her what was wrong she reported flu like symptoms. I suspect that she is making herself sick by eating expired food. I am also afraid of the way she's been walking lately she's shuffles around and my biggest fear is that she's going to fall and not be able to reach a phone.
She still has a car and is driving. I know that sounds awful, I know she's a danger to herself and other drivers. But I don't know what to do. I am just a child to her. I don't know how to tell the woman who took care of me that she isn't doing a good job of taking care of herself.
She has been independent my entire life. She manages her own money, maintains her own household. Lately she hasn't been doing a good job at that, she's fallen behind on some bills and has asked me to buy her things that she should be able to buy herself like food and toilet paper. I really suspect that she might be giving money to her children, possibly my 40ish year old uncle who for lack of a better word is a complete loser and feels like she owes him something. I know he guilts her into giving him money and it makes me sick.
My grandma is sad too, she cries a lot. I know she's sad because her kids aren't around. My father who is her son lives about 20 min away and won't see her. Both of her daughters live more than 1000 miles away and her youngest son was already mentioned above. My own mother who is really her ex daughter-in-law takes better care of her than any of her kids. She calls her and picks her up on the weekends and tries to get my father and aunts involved in her care but it really seems like she's the only one who cares. The problem is my mother still has young children and the stress is really too much for her. She has a demanding job, takes care of young children and she shouldn't have to take care of my grandmother too. I don't want my own mother to spread herself too thin.
I don't know where to start. I'm still in school. I work part time and I'm kind of embarrassed to say I'm in nursing school. I'm embarrassed because I feel like I should be better equipped to dealing with this situation based off what I have learned but this is my own family member and it makes things a lot harder. My grandma is stubborn and she is trying desperately to maintain her independence and I don't want to take anything away from her. But I really love her and I want her to be around.
I keep asking her what would make her happy, but she just cries or says she doesn't know. I know she wishes her kids were closer to her and she wants to be a part of her grandkids life. I want her to feel fulfillment in her life. I would like her to enjoy her life to the fullest. I don't know what to do.
I know this is what I want the outcome to be. I want her to be compliant with her health most importantly, I want lab work done, I want an eye exam, I want her to take her medicine. I want her to live in a cleaner safer home. I want her to have a better diet and stay hydrated. I want her kids to stop taking advantage of her. But I would like her to have money at her disposal to go visit them. I know that sounds silly like sending her into a wolf den but those are her children and she loves them. One lives in Chicago, one in Texas and one in Mexico. If she was better at managing her money she could go and visit in the very least at least 2 of her children a year. Like I said I'm still young. I'm almost done with school and I only have myself to take care of right now. I love my grandma so much I want her to be happy. I want to help her and I don't want to force her hand at anything. I don't want her to experience anymore loss/grief in her life. Any suggestions or advice would be much appreciated. Ty and sorry if this story was scattered and unorganized it is so multi-faceted I had trouble writing it.