Morphine started and my grandmother is bedridden. Is she nearing the end of her life?

Just buried my 86 year old husband of 55 years who 17 years ago had prostate cancer and this year it came back into the bones. Much pain, but he continued moving and walking until a week before he died. Hospice at Home was wonderful and provided the morphine needed. He never asked for it, but I knew when he needed it. The hospice nurse explained it like this: A baby knows how to be born - it turns its body in the down position for birth and this alerts the mother that the time is near. A body knows how to die and prepares itself for that. The rule of sevens is that the person will not need food or even water because they are not hungry or even thirsty. We must allow the body to do what it knows to do. After 7 days it will have shut down and dies quietly. The morphine and other drug given by mouth will stop the death rattle which can be devastating to the family but will ease the noisy breathing. I don't mean to scare you or sound crude because it was a beautiful transition for my husband as our huge family surrounded him, singing softly, massaging his feet and body with lavender oil and speaking to him loving words which I know he heard. May you find comfort in knowing someone is praying for you and your family.

She is very near to passing on. Hold her hand, sing her favorite songs. Play her favorite music. If she asks for more morphine, let her have it.
For your parents, make a poster with family photos that include grandma in happier times.

Your presence is the greatest gift you can give your parents and your grandmother.The moment of death is actually very beautiful and your loved one
will hopefully just slip away very peacefully.It is very sad;but beautiful. It is a paradox. I have lost all fear of death as I watched my husband of 55 years leave this earth and transition over to the other side. I am praying for you.

Agree with all above, help keep it quiet and peaceful. This is NOT the time for family drama, should there be any...just quiet and let the patient guide you as you watch their progression. Once urine output ends, and the extremities become cold and gray, due to the circulation being "pulled inward" to keep the heart and brain and lungs functioning, the end is very near. Morphine makes it easier for everyone. Daddy passed between one breath and the next, surrounded by his family. It was quite beautiful.

You can listen to their feelings without judgments. When osteoporosis (brittle bones) becomes so severe like you have described, the bones will compress her organs making it difficult to breathe. Morphine is given, but there is little that can be done given her prognosis. Yes, the end is near.

Lot of good advice given above. The main thing is to make sure Grandma is comfortable. Since she is bedridden it is important to re-position her every couple of hours, if someone is there who has experience with this especially if Grandma has brittle bones.

Grandma may want to stop eating, allow her that wish. That means the stomach is unable to process food and if food is given it would be very uncomfortable for her. If Grandma wants water, that is ok with tiny sips unless she aspirates the water [going down the wind pipe].

Holding her hand, stroking her hair, lavender lotion on her arms and legs [my Dad's caregiver did that for my Dad in his final days]. Grandma may eventually go into a coma like state, don't be afraid to talk to her as it's my understand the person is still able to hear as when they lose their other senses, it makes the hearing stronger.

Don't be surprised if Grandma passes when there is no one in the room... some people prefer to pass without an audience. Others want people around. We never know what they prefer. So don't feel guilty if you weren't in the room.... my Dad did that as I felt he didn't want me to witness his transition.

One thing you can do to help your parents, is to make sure they get healthy food, and some sleep. I was with my mom almost continually until her death. After sleeping in chair for a week, eating from vending machines or McDonalds, I was about dead myself! My dad and husband insisted we set up a schedule whereby I got away for 12 hours, and others took over the 12 hours I was gone (sleeping and otherwise refreshing myself). This helped me regain some perspective, and I was then in better shape to handle the funeral. Support the caregivers in basic ways, and gently suggest they take a long break from the dying person.

Never give up which is what life is about.You are already giving the greatest gift you can give ypur grandmother by just being there.I assume you dont have brothers sisters as you did not mention them,if you do have any shame on them for not being there also.iI cry every night over my Mom pasding at 89 from a urinary infection and the Cipro the doctor gave hee for it which blew out hwr kidneys.God Bless You and the kindness you have shown.

Yes LittleAngel all the advice given covers the question asked. Your presence with Your dear Grandmother, to hold Her hand and listen to what She says would be great. To give Your Grandma hugs and to tell Her You Love Her. If She's able to talk as questions of Her youth, growing up and going to school, and about Your Grandmas Parents Your Great Grand Parents. You would be amazed at the older Generation the great history and knowledge they posess. Comfort Your Parents too as this is a very tough time for Them. Bless You all.

My Mom just passed in August and this sounds like what she went through as well. I had no help, except for Hospice coming a couple of times a week. I don't know how old you are but if you are able, get in there and help change her diapers, wash her face, brush her hair, give her hugs and just love her. There isn't much time left for her on Earth.