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My grandmother is 85 years old and has been bedridden for the last 6 years. She has psws come in 3x per day, everyday. They change her and wash her in the morning, and I change her at night. She's always had trouble with vomiting, while eating, or while being changed. Very recently she's lost a lot of weight from not eating and she's very weak now. She sleeps a ton and barely eats anything :(. I just got a homevisit dr in and he said that her Oxygen levels are good, bp is good, breathing is good, no fever. He said she is weak from not eating (obviously!) and to try and get her to drink some ensure and keep trying to give her food.


I'm really scared and not sure what I should do. It's really just me in her life.

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You said grandma had back pain. She may have a tumor or something you might wanna get an x-ray that could be causing issues
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She needs a complete check up and a blood test to see what’s going on
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Update: Today she is awake and alert and acting very normal. I called my uncle who is her POA and he's going to come by tonight. She was drinking ensure earlier and i asked her if she wanted to eat some real food , and she said she wanted yogurt and berries. So this is where i'm at right now, still unsure of what is happening. Thank you all for your help , and i will update as we go on. Thanks again.
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Bestbudz, please do not hesitate to get your grandma to the hospital to get her treated for whatever is going on.

My mom spent 3 days in the ER and 3 in the hospital during the height of the pandemic and she was fine. She would have died had she not been transported to the hospital.

Sometimes we just have to have faith that what is to be will be, but we must act reasonably.
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Please please PLEASE do not be afraid to take your grandmother to the ER. I've been there a month ago with my husband for several hours, then he was admitted overnight; neither one of us contracted the virus. The whole worry about getting this virus in a medical environment is unwarranted and overblown, in my experience and opinion. I had surgery myself yesterday with no worry on my part OR on my DHs part about getting the virus. The doctor has been performing surgeries since January with NO reported cases of COVID from ANY of the patients or staff in the facility.

If you are worried about your grandmother, call 911 and have her taken to the ER. You will both be given a mask and that's it. More people are being allowed to die at home rather than going to the ER for necessary medical care, all over the worry of a virus! My DD is an RN in a downtown hospital and works there every day, even before they had N95 masks available, and she's been just fine. Same with her co-workers.

Also, answer the questions Alva is asking you........does grandma have a dementia diagnosis? Why does she have swallowing issues? From a stroke? How much does she weigh?

Alva is a retired nurse who can guide you if you answer her questions.

Best of luck!
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Bestbudz Sep 15, 2020
1.She's never had a dementia diagnosis , but she also doesnt have a family dr. She gets something called medvisit where its a random dr that will come to go homevisits.

2. She doesn't use dentures , not sure why ,just never did. I make her meals that are soft to eat. She will be eating then all of a sudden start sneezing. A lot of the time she will vomit after eating.

3. i would estimate she weighs about 100=110lbs
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Best, do you know what happened to make your Grandmom bedridden and with such a swallow deficit? Does she have dementia (swallow is often affected in latter stages) or a stroke of some kind? Is there another condition she has? Can you tell me approximately what she weighs? Are there any supporting you and helping you to make decisions now going forward. Would the doctor order a hospice consult for you could have that support for her? People can go on for a very long time with very minimal amounts of food and fluid, but if this is the case you eventually do see the wasting you see, and there are many more side effects, such as bedsores and etc.
It sounds quite clear to me that your grandmother is in her end days, but that cannot be predicted in terms of days or weeks or even months. Is there something you feel you could do that you are not doing? Because as a nurse I honestly don't. Forcing foods or fluids she no longer has the drive to take in or the wish to have could cause aspiration of food into the lungs, with aspiration pneumonia.
Have you asked Grandmom's doctor if there is anything more that you can do or should do? Or are you giving vent really to the great grief you feeling coming at you? I wish there was some way to help you with this, but I cannot imagine what that would be. Hugs. Please take care of yourself.
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Bestbudz Sep 15, 2020
She always had back pain , then she fell and never got back up again. Had PT come in but just didn't want to get out of bed , so I moved in with her. She's been really good the last years , only really bad time has been right now. Even just last month she was good , nothing like this. She was awake writing in her book , able to eat meals,talking. Now she just sleeps and barley speaks. Today i got her to drink a ensure plus calories,raspberries, and a creamsicle. Honestly as i'm typing this i'm crying because i'm just afraid to lose her and afraid to bring her to the er because of covid.
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