My mother visited and cared for her mom this past weekend. Grandma is mentally sharp but legally blind. My Aunt cares for her and gets paid for doing so. She does not let us get the mail for grandma or read it and had a real tantrum the one time we did. Grandma had my mom look for her deed to her house and property and then told mom where the copy of her trust is but it wsa not there. She told my mom she wants a lawyer she can trust to look at it with her and advise. She does not trust my Aunt completely and feels she is taking money and things from her home. My Aunt is a controlling 'bully' that will make like miserable for my grandma if she knows that a lawyer has been called in to look at what is going on. Is it possible to get a discreet lawyer to review things with my grandma one on one, or will they tell my aunt what is going? Grandma says she can't sleep at night worrying about what is going on. I don't want to cause family issues but am worried about her anxiety levels.

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Since your grandma is cognitively well, you or your mom should accompany her to an elder law attorney or estate attorney and have a Power Of Attorney drawn up for financial purposes, as well as one for health. She also needs a will. If the deed to her house is truly missing, she may want to talk to the attorney about what to do about that. This sounds like a legal matter. You'll likely have a lot of family issues over this, but if your grandma is being exploited, she needs your help. Good luck,
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