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Hello All,


My grandmother is 94 years old. She has had diabetes, blood pressure since her 40s but she had a more or less healthy life until last October. However, in October she had a urinary infection, which could not be cured due to her resistance to antibiotics. They found one antibiotic that could help her but that one caused her to throw up whatever she ate. Starting from November, her health got worse day by day and now she closes her eyes all day long. She does not hear what we say (or at least she does not react). When she is awake for a few moments, she recognizes my mum and then she continues to sleep. Doctors say that there is nothing to do. But I am not sure.. Does any of you know anything that can help her? Is it because of dementia or just aging? Many thanks and all the best wishes.

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i have taken of two elderly people in the last few years. The first was a family friend with whom I was charged, by his out of state relatives , that his quality of life was assured. About two months before his passing, he was increasingly "sleeping " more and more. Funny thing was that he would eat his pureed food like normal but was content with a sleep like state. On the day of his death, he did open his eyes to acknowledge my presence and then closed his eyes again. He passed when I got home. So knowing that increased sleeping more might be a sign of the end nearing, His nurse had mentioned that she had wanted to talk to me about putting him on hospice because of his amount of sleeping. I was watchful about the increase of sleeping my mother (who never took naps) progressed. About 2 months or so before her death, the amount of sleep during the day would increase daily..until two days before her passing, her eyes were closed 24 hours a day. I am only informing you about my experience with tranquil passing over and please only take my observations as "good to know" and no a prediction. :(
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Good point about the yeast infection and probiotic, Joann. My mother just had a UTI and was put on antibiotics and developed a yeast infection after the antibiotics but treated early. All cleared up for now. My mother takes a good probiotic. When she is hospitalized she is given one a day while on antibiotics.
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A catheter can cause problems with someone with chronic UTIs. We had a client who suffered from UTIs and catheters were not used. Aides want them because it makes their jobs easier.

Longtime antibiotic use causes resistance. I would ask about a probiotic. Antibiotics cause yeast infections. Cranberry tablets may help.
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Deeplomat Jan 2021
Thanks a lot JoAnn29! She was not able to empty her bladder. That is why she has a catheter since almost 1 month. Probiotics and cranberry tablets are all good suggestions. thanks a lot!
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The bladder washes help with bladder pain and clears up her urine. The bacteria decreases and less and not so severe UTI's. Yes she can have bladder washes through the catheter but my mom gets a straight catheter the doc flushes with solution and then takes it out. The procedure takes less than 10 minutes and then off we go. Why does she have a catheter? Is she retaining urine? How long will it stay in her bladder? Need to be careful with indwelling catheters as they can cause infections / UTI's especially if in bladder long term, Uncommon now in hospitals. My mother is used to having the irrigations and does very well with them. My mother would close her eyes and look drained with UTI's now we get them treated very early and she does so much better. Hope your grandmother does better and recovers well. Thank you very much for your well wishes.
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Deeplomat Jan 2021
Many thanks earlybird! She has a catheter since as she is not able to empty her bladder. It is not clear for how long she needs to keep the catheter. Last time when she had the catheter a few years ago due to UTI, it took 3 months for doctors to decide that she no longer needs it. But her conscious level was good at those times and her eyes were not closed all the times. The progress was much faster. Now, she eats puree type food, not solid food, while her eyes are closed. I hope my grandmother can get better as your mother did.
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Hello GardenArtist. The docs told me that too. I know they said she was resistant but there are other options and my mother in the past has been sensitive following the next urine culture after she was told no antibiotic treatment options other than IV antibiotics because of resistance. Now she is sensitive to at least 4 or five oral antibiotics and able to get treatment orally. I have done it all. She needs to see a good urologist. I found in my experience the doctors give up too quickly. A urologist is the way to go. I have but the best respect for my moms urologist. She is willing to try different things and I am so grateful for that. The procedure she tolerates very well. My mother was put on a antibiotic that helped but she was not sensitive to it but kept her from getting septic. She is on a prophylactic antibiotic daily which another urologist was consulted and both came up with a plan. My mother is a diabetic as well. She has very good quality of life, has traveled extensively these last twenty years and has been pretty much pain free of bladder pain. This is what works for my mother well and giving advice on my many years of experience might just help her grandmother.
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JoAnn29 Jan 2021
Is your Mom sensitive or allergic to penicillin? My Mom was and almost died from an antibiotic that she was given that had penicillin in it. And it was on her hospital records.
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have them check her medication. it maybe to much. or she could have develop some sleep disorder and or some mix up of to many meds. make sure it is her medications and that she's not taking to many of the same meds and forgot she took on early and if she's not taking them whose given them to her. get a CT Scan or brain wave scan or something. take her to a gyn i hope she doesnt have an infection that could be spreading. check for some home remedies and give her cranberry juice. doctors say to drink that helps clear up infections and find and doctor for the elderly gerartic or something like that.
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Deeplomat,
I think it is her UTI. Elders can get very sick with them if not treated properly. Does your grandmother see a urologist? Her UTI needs to be treated otherwise she will become septic. My 98 year old mother has chronic UTI's and has been resistant to most oral medications. She does have home IV antibiotics when needed which I do. Lately she is sensitive to oral antibiotics which she can now use. She has bladder washes every other week and sometime every week for her UTI'S. This procedure cleans out her bladder and helps keep the bacteria low and helps bladder pain. It helped her for about three years and only 3-4 less serious UTI's. during that time with oral meds. We even cut down to once a month. My heart goes out to you for I know very well how difficult it is to treat these but there is hope. My mother does so well when she does not have a UTI. and she is doing well now being treated. I will continue to have my mom treated as long as the meds and washes help her and she wants to continue.. I also frequently ask her if she wants to continue with the treatment and she says yes. I have been dealing with this for at least twenty years and my mom has good quality of life. Wishing your grandmother the best and hope she improves soon.
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GardenArtist Jan 2021
Earlybird, I would support the effort to clear the infection, but the OP has stated this:

"...she had a urinary infection, which could not be cured due to her resistance to antibiotics."   And her mother is diabetic; that complicates the situation.

But your information on the "washes" is helpful; I hadn't been aware of that kind of treatment.   I appreciate your sharing that.
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Did the doctor explain what will happen if the UTI is not cleared up? The person becomes septic. Meaning toxins are given off. The person, if they don't suffer from Dementia already, will have Dementia type symptoms. The person eventually passes because of the sepsis. So the doctor saying that no more can be done is trying to say Grandmom won't be here much longer.

Two weeks before my Mom passed, she closed her eyes. Then she would not get out of bed. A week before she passed, she could not swallow. Her body was shutting down. I then called Hospice in. Your family may want to also call Hospice in. Just to make sure she is comfortable and pain free.

So sorry you are going thru this but it seems to be Grandmoms time.
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Deeplomat Jan 2021
JoAnn29, doctor says that it takes time for UTI to clear up.. Her CRP was 90 when she first had the infection, after three months and antibiotics it is still around 16.

I am sorry for your Mom.. May she rest in peace. Thanks for sharing your experience.
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When your eyes are open, your brain has to take in everything they see. I honestly think that closing their eyes is a way to avoid sensory overload.

My mom keeps her eyes closed most of the time and has for years. As her dementia has progressed, I think it's just a natural reflex to avoid things her brain can no longer process. She also does it to get people to leave her alone.
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JoAnn29 Jan 2021
My Mom occasionally closed her eyes and when she did, she was more lucid.
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Perhaps she's thinking, or reminiscing, or meditating?      Perhaps her eyes are tired; does she wear glasses?  Does she have any eye issues ..cataracts?   Macular degeneration?   Glaucoma?

What kind of light exists in that room?    Soft light bulbs?   I've found that some of the newer light bulbs tire my eyes.

Air can make a difference as well.  If it's dry, her eyes might be dry as well.  

And with a history of diabetes, she might have diabetic retinopathy.  When did she last have an eye exam?  

Given her resistance to antibiotics, and a potentially long term UTI, plus a history of diabetes, this would be something I would definitely want to check out.
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cwillie Jan 2021
Good point about light sensitivity, after my mom had macular degeneration she usually wore lightly tinted sunglasses even indoors. Mom also had dry eyes, which is another possibility.
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I'm sure it's a bit disturbing to witness but I guess it is possible that she is just tired and fading?
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cindybrownlbsw Jan 2021
yes!!
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Daddy had his eyes closed all the time if he weren't actively engaged in a conversation or watching TV. Even then, he mostly just 'listened'.

His passing was so peaceful He gently slid from this world to the next. I personally never tried too hard to engage him in conversation--let his mood set the tone.

I think by 94, we'll all be tired.
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A very unhelpful doctor told me "sometimes they just get tired". I liked to believe that dreamland was a happier place; no age, pain, confusion and frailty.
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Deeplomat Jan 2021
I have the feeling that doctors give up real quick when the patient is over 90.
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