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I came home from running errands and found a business card from an investigator Not sure if this is in the right spot...cause it actually fits more than one description of which topics it may fall under... I'm looking for some input ~ hoping someone can help me.. I live with my 95 year old grandmother, two weeks ago she got very sick/wasn't herself. I believed it was a UTI (..in addition to not being herself, her urine had quite the odor - not normal). Took her to the ER (Tuesday) - doctor wouldn't treat her/sent us home (but they did get a urine specimen to rule out any problems). After that visit, we went home ~ couldn't get Gran out of the car (very unsteady on her feet) - when I finally got her out...knees started to buckle. Put my car alarm on see if any of the neighbors were home - and to help us. Luckily a few people came out - but we couldn't get grandmom to walk (she was shaking). Gran was saying she wanted to go into the house but it wasn't possible (wasn't moving legs to walk). Neighbor called 911 -- back to the ER (2nd time). Same ER doc as earlier, he was very condescending and said 'weakness is not a symptom' and sent us home. But before leaving - he said she'd be better off in skilled nursing care for the rest of her life. No, she doesn't need nursing care - however, she has an infection and no one will help her/us. Fast forward to Friday of that week - gran wasn't too bad from Tuesday to Friday (definitely wasn't herself though) - about 2:00am I helped her get up from bed to the bathroom. First thing I noticed - she was very hot. Immediately I took her temperature (103). Called 911 - back to ER (different ER doctor) - this time they kept her. All tests came back clean (yea - negative urine specimen/urine culture) with one exception -- tested positive for c-difficile colitis. Fast forward to 02/28 (hospitalized from 02/24 thru 02/28) - I requested that grandmom go into temporary rehab with the hopes of regaining some strength/agility as well as to recover more from the c-difficile. First care plan meeting was yesterday - even with the infection, she was exceeding all of the staffs expectations of her. Today - I was out doing errands (...getting car inspected; few other runs I needed to get done)..came home and found a business card between my doors -- An investigator from older adult protective services was here while I was away. Nothing else left in the door, just the card. My questions -- is someone attempting to get me in trouble for abuse (that never existed)? Is this a result of being c-difficile positive / this is a routine investigation? There was a similar type of incident in 2012 - grandmother fell, but I asked them to come by and evaluate grandmother to see if we are eligible for any services (meals on wheels, etc)...never received a business card from older adult protective services back then. My uncle's girlfriend has tried many times to start trouble thru the years but hasn't stopped to the current low....Sadly I wouldn't be shocked if it was her....(uncle's girlfriend has attempted to make me homeless; demanded I show her grandmom's financial records; etc - and no..since I'm the financial poa, didn't comply). But anyways...can someone help me make sense of all this? Am I being blamed for c-diff infection (...is this being classified as abuse?)? How can I defend myself against this potential aligation (...assuming I'm being charged with abuse)? I'm fairly certain that this was my uncle's girlfriend doing... but either way, I need to figure out how to protect myself against untrue lies.

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I would call to see what it is. It may be something simple, like talking about arrangements for you gma going forward. Or it may be that someone reported something. What you can do is be honest. I'm sure they will see that you are doing your best in a situation the doctor should have helped with. I feel bad for both your gma and you. Big hugs.
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You can't possibly be blamed for your gma contracting c-diff. And... I don't want to scare you, but I do want to warn you that gma likely won't recover from c-diff since it is so difficult to treat and will sap the strength of anyone, especially elderly. There are things you can do - feed her lots of yogurt and good probiotics. Did the docs put her on IV antibiotics for the time she was hospitalized?

My advice is to talk to the social worker. There may indeed be something they can offer you. If something was reported, you can clear it up easily. People do things to cover their own butts, as you know, and medical personnel are no different. Someone may have sensed you might benefit from some help, who knows.

"Don't borrow tomorrow's troubles..." :-) Call, see what it is. Come back and talk about it and people here will continue to offer support and advice through anything. (((hugs)))
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Gran isn't ready for nursing home care - I promised her years ago that I wouldn't put her in a home unless it was absolutely necessary. Truthfully, even with the c-diff, it's not necessary... she can still care for herself, etc (just needs a little extra help at times - mostly just getting her up out of the bed so she can use the bathroom). I'm just flabbergasted that I have a card from an investigator with older adult services.
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While in the hospital, Gran was given antibiotics (Flagyl) as well as fluids for dehydration. Was only on the IV for 1 1/2 days ~ she bounced back quickly. Prior to the c-diff she was a picky eater (didn't eat much) - but loves her ensure drinks. With each passing day she's getting better -- her color looked good the second day in the hospital...with each passing day she was moving more normal (has arthritis though - but she's almost 96)...moves slow but that's her.. I did catch her daughter trying to force feed her. I'm beyond heart broken.
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C-diff is dangerous and things at home must be sanitary. The APS is probably coming to assess your home for safety and cleanliness, and teach you to avoid spreading the disease, not to accuse you of anything.
When your gma appeared at the E.R. did she appear unkempt with long fingernails, dirty hair, torn clothes? So sorry to ask and you don't need to answer. The E.R. doc who refused to treat a very ill woman is the most likely
mandated reporter-I don't know what his problem was. Maybe they are actually investigating the doctor's actions.
It could be anything, not you, nothing you have done.
It is so nice some protections are in place for folks.
Sorry to bring up gma's appearance, but you wanted to know possibilities, yes?
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If GMA goes to ER again, and you talk with Social Services there, and they offer you IN HOME CARE, For instance, Hospice,, take it. They may ask in a strange way, does GMA need home care? Your first answer is 'NO I GOT IT" You want to be Caretake of the Year... Sometimes, you may just need a bit of help. Make sure you ,make it clear, GMA is staying home....

But they may be able to send in a home care nurse to follow up on her a couple times a week..... They did this with my aunt... Now aunt doesn't need it anymore....
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That ER doctor bumped his head.
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When you state "older" protection services - Do you mean adult protection services? This agency is only contacted when someone suspects neglect and/or abuse. They're investing a complaint made by someone - and you have the right to be informed of who made the complaint. Someone at the hospital who was reviewing your grandmother's health, her overall appearance (if she is not cleaned, matty/dirty hair, smells bad/weird, skin breakdown from slow healing wounds or bruises (elderly bruise easily from just slightly kicking their feet against something, for example, etc), at the time of her intake may have suspected neglect or abuse - or - her overall health is not good, is deteriorating (somone with a strong immune system - will not get C.Diff) , and should be in a facility with round the clock watch and more people available to help care for her; if you're the only one caring for her then someone at the hospital may have decided your grandmother is too much work for you. But I'll also state medical personnel can be wrong and are very quick to judge - and they make mistakes all the time. You need to get a hold of your grandmother's ER medical records - to protect yourself. You also need to see her primary care physician to explain what happened - and bring your grandmother's records with you to this appt. You should also consider filing a complaint against the first ER doctor with the hospital and with the State Medical Board (who'll review the records; it's their job to review medical records when a complaint is filed) because he clearly neglected your grandmother - she never should've been sent home. Urine tests completed in the ER do not take a long time - and if urine was smelling that bad - this alone is a serious concern to be looked into and this ER doctor is a moron for not admitting your grandmother to the hospital at the first visit. I've had a lot experience in dealing multiple doctors over the years - it's very frightening how stupid some of these doctors can be and I wonder how the heck did they get their medical degree. Doctors can be parrots; they spend years memorizing in medical school but lack common sense in the real world.
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Gran was pretty well dressed ~ I do make sure that she's clean as well as hair being washed. All things considering, she looked ok. We're not exactly rich - but not dirt poor either.

In regard to the first ER physician...yes, I will be writing a letter to the hospital, etc. My grandmother's family doctor did call me on Monday morning (while she was still admitted) - he heard the story from his colleague (who had to call the ER before our arrival - so she wouldn't be sent home). Family doc was very angry/upset - she should only have been to the ER once - not three times. Said if I need anything, don't hesitate and give him a call. He did say there may be a time when gran gets sick again ~ then it may be time to seriously start talking about assisted living. The way she bounced back proved to him that she's not read for assisted living/skilled nursing.

Prior to the c-diff, grandmom could care for herself with minor assistance from me (...mostly opening the cap on the mouthwash - little things like that). Never had an issue with cleanliness with her... only issue with her is dry skin - which I think runs in the family anyways.

After the second ER visit - I had called home health and already had the ball rolling. Was told they would start officially that Monday - which didn't happen due to being admitted to the hospital the Friday before... but the agency is well aware of what's going on - they've been to the rehab facility to review grandmom's file - and are ready to go once she's discharged. I'm definitely not qualified to be caregiver of the year ~ I'm not superwoman... I know my limits and know when to ask for help.

And yes - it was 'APS' that left their card in the door. How would I go about investigating who made the complaint? Do I have a right to know? Definitely will be calling her family doctor tomorrow too -- so I can get copies of grand mom's medical records from his office.
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You just call the person on the card - and you tell him/her that you will not talk until you are told who is the person that filed the complaint with APS. It is your right to know who filed the complaint. Don't let this APS person push you around. Their job is to only investigate complaints of safety, neglect, abuse. It's not a social call. It's not a routine follow-up from the hospital. This APS visit is not the norm. It's a serious issue not to be taken lightly. Someone (from the hospital, a neighbor, angry family member, whomever...) is very concerned about your grandmother's well being in her home; if her health is declining, albeit slowly, and you can't be there 24x7, then APS will push for her to be put in a facility - for her safety. They're not educating you on C.Diff - they want to see if her environment is either responsible or contributed to its development; most importantly, they want to evaluate the home environment, overall, to determine if it's appropriate for her level of care because whoever contacted APS thinks there's a problem with the home environment. You need to keep her doctor aware of what's going with the APS.
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Do I have the right to say that - can I safely ask who made the report? I don't want to make things worse by being difficult (refusing to talk). And I'll be going to her doctors office in person tomorrow -- what I'm potentially being accused of, it's not something I want to discuss with any of the office staff (other than the physician).
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Midnight,
You seem to be panicking without enough information.
Have you ever heard that the word ASSUME makes an azz out of you and me? Slow down, try not to jump to conclusions. This can be sorted out, imo.

There will be some wonderful people on here in the morning, and they may be able to help you sort things out.
Will you be able to get some sleep? Caregivers often suffer lack of sleep
and may have a temporary sleep deprivation psychosis, which can cause one not to be thinking clearly. If that is the circumstances you find yourself in, call for help.
Will look forward to seeing you here again with your beautiful avatar, an eye, a heart, and a tear. It actually is midnight here....where are you from?
This forum is seen around the world! Thank you for reaching out to me on my wall. You hang in there tonight, okay?
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There is not one perfect caregiver on this forum Midnight!
So you are in good company!
There are only 1-2 that think they are perfect, but we love and support them too!
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My mother was in facility care for Alzheimer's she fell breaking ribs and punctured her lung. Because she was admitted to the hospital a social worker was assigned to her case. At least I assume the reason was that. I believe with the elderly it is standard procedure to make sure the environment the elderly is living in is going to be able to supply the necessary care required for the elders condition once released from the hospital. Do not panic as I am sure APS left the card because you were not available at the hospital when the came the social worker came in to see your grandmother.
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In agreement with SharynMarie!
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I don't think the OP was panicking until reading some of the responses.

APS works under different rules in different states. In my state, I know that you can call Child protective services and be guaranteed anonymity. Don't know about APS.

Call the person on the card and tell them Gma is in rehab. Would they prefer to visit her there or wait til she is home? I'd tell them about the three attempts it took to get Gma admitted to the hospital.

Personally, I wouldn't care who called. APS has a job to do, and let them get on with it.
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You are right Barb about not caring who may have reported if that is what happened. My thoughts are if midnights uncle's gf reported it, it is only a call check. Nothing will come of it.

Midnight, yes call the number on the card, you are fine nothing is going to happen. (((Hugs)))!!!
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Midnight...

APS are your friends. They have followed up concerns reported to them about a vulnerable elder. It could be meddling on someone's part, it could be someone who saw your grandmother's struggles to get into the house and misconstrued the situation, it could be some kind of automatic alert on the ER's IT systems.

But who cares? You *want* APS to do this anyway. The outcome will be that your care for your grandmother and your obvious understanding of her needs go on record, any baseless accusations are shown to be false, and any gaps in support that she and you are entitled to are acted on. It's official: this lady is taking excellent care of her grandmother.

Call them back and invite them over. You've nothing to worry about.
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Midnight I would put my money on it being the first ER Dr who filed the report. He realized that he had not provided treatment when you turned up the second time so now he is protecting his butt and accusing you before you can report him.
There is no doubt that his treatment or rather lack of it of your grandmother was negligent.
You have two choices, one is to make a complaint to the head of that hospital, however they may go into denial mode to protect themselves against legal action. The second is to go to the State Medical Board and they will have to review the case. If you do that and they find you are correct they will take disciplinary action against that Dr. I would wait until you have the meeting with the primary Dr and let him advise you. He clearly realizes there has been wrongdoing.
It does not matter if someone is 93 or 3 they all have a right to proper diagnosis and treatment .
As far as grandmothers prognosis is concerned as someone mentioned C dif is difficult if not impossible to clear up and may shorten life but she is making such good progress I would be very hopeful.
This may turn into a bit of a hassle for you right now when you would just prefer to concentrate on Gma but think of it as a public service . You may be able to prevent this Dr from abusing other vulnerable people. Hugs
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Update ---

I spoke to the case worker... among the highlights ~ I'm being accused of not getting grandmom any medical care (totally false); dental care (totally false); I opposed rehab (...what the heck ~ I was the one who first bought it up -- I didn't oppose it; I wanted it); etc - and the lies list continues on...

So yea, I'm dealing with an angry unstable 'family' member who is trying (again) to have grandmom put into a nursing home. She's not ready for nursing home care at this time... but if and when that day comes ~ she will be going..

Luckily I've lost my voice (combination of crying/talking to case workers/sinus issues/allergy season) --- but I am working on a plan of action ~ left a message with family doctor saying what went down earlier... the receptionist was quite disgusted and knew it was all lies. We (gran and I) are fairly regulars ~ regular check ups, etc. I always ask her doctor questions at each visit anyways.

Unrelated -- can anyone recommend a good lawyer in the South Jersey/PA area that specializes in elder care? After talking with the case worker - I don't feel safe anymore (...case worker did her job ~ and was amazed at the details I gave; right down to the tiniest detail. She made it clear she was doing her job * which I understand * and was appreciative that I was being open with her). I'm also open to any/all ideas and suggestions from y'all too.
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Sadly this isn't a case closed detail... but judging by the questions asked, it's all due to uncle's mentally unstable girlfriend. Still writing a letter regarding the ER doctor - once APS is done. Case worker wanted prof of me being poa - I do have copies... but I'm tending to the accusations of medical neglect (...and was accused of keeping her from her family - another whopper of a lie). As much as I want to confront the liar; I'm going to bite my tongue. I know I've done the right thing (..and my friends have made it clear that they are in our corner) and have nothing to fear. I even invited the worker back to my home ~ im not the best housekeeper but my home is clean... and not to mind the fact I've got really bad allergies (...puffy eyes, etc) - if she doesn't mind that...come on by. Thank you all for your support - it means a lot to me. And it's one of the few things that is getting me thru each day.
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That's the important point, Midnight: you have done the right thing, and you have nothing to fear. Dig out that POA documentation as soon as you can, but even that doesn't alter the case.

I happen to know that in terms of mandated reporting, there are signals that can trigger a report. With children, for example, repeated trips to ER would do it; and because of circumstances that were absolutely not your fault (on the contrary, and you're already dealing with it) your grandmother will have registered as showing up three times in a row. If that was then added to by a complaint about isolation, or even an enquiry along the lines of "niece is doing such and such, is that legal," then APS would have to act on it.

This will all come out in the wash, as they say. Well done for working with them, and please keep in touch to let us know how it's going.

This is exactly what caregivers *don't* need. I'm so sorry for the added stress you're going through.
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Good job Midnight!!! As you said, you have done the right things for your gran. Research online for elder law attorney in your area. I do believe this will blow over once all investigation is done. You have the paperwork from the discharges from the ER where they said nothing was wrong. Keep those papers. If your uncle wants to come visit, he knows where you live but leave the girlfriend at home.
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Midnight, you are handling this so well!  Please keep posting here and let us know how it works out.   We care!

We also learn from each other. I hope you find an empathetic lawyer who can help you sort out this dreadful family situation, and that you can share what works.

I'm curious about why evil girlfriend wants gram in a NH? Does she think that is cheaper somehow than having gram at home?
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Yes Barb, I am too. Is she speaking for her self needs and signing it as the uncle??
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I wish I was handling this well.. my voice finally gave out (..but to be fair I also have sinus issues/allergies/asthma). Still fuming about everything from today. It's truly sickening as to how truly evil people can be... lawyer wise, I'm going to wait for now. For starters, need to get my voice back ~ secondly, going to wait until my name gets cleared before I start talking to lawyers. Shouldn't be that long since I've got nothing to hide.

In regards to uncle's girlfriend ~ I have a few theories... she's having money problems (again), looking to sell the house so she can pay off her debts; she thinks grandmom is made of money (...joke is on her ~ gran isn't made of money but her pension/ss is a good amount of chunk change (...since I pay the bills, do the food shopping, etc. my budgeting skills have improved grately - even at the end of the month I have at least $300 left) or she's just truly that rotten and wants me to suffer in any way possible.

When my name gets cleared - it's on... even in order to press charges, I need to be certain that she is the instigator (...confirm my suspicion) - can an elder lawyer be able to find out who made a false claim to APS?

Spoke to my aunt and uncle earlier (via group text) - told them what happened and what I'm being falsely accused of.. and that I will be speaking with a lawyer to go after the instigator...my aunt finally answered my text about ten minutes ago -- she's stunned...but said she's willing to help me (but I'll believe it when I see it). My uncle on the other hand -- he's been silent since last night ~ I even sent him a text to his work phone -- "I know who did this..." nope, no response. Even when I called him last night ~ asked if his girlfriend is behind this ~ he got very quiet and quickly hung up the phone.

But yes, I'll keep posting as this nightmare develops - and hopefully my experiences will benefit those in similar situations.
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Let it be known, OLD PEOPLE DON'T BOUNCE BACK on their own.... My friend's aunt 95 just died due to the respritory infection going around.. Coughing for maybe a week, finally the daughter took her to dr... hospitalized, ICU, and done.... I took my mom in to get teeth cleaned. from the time I took her to the time I picked her up, she had a seizure. The ER DOCTOR Asked my WHY I was getting MOM's teeth cleaned at that age? I was being questioned for getting MOM's teeth cleaned..... darned if you do; darned if you don't......
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Anybody else questioning about the caring of a 95 year old... IT LITERALLY IS DAY BY DAY AT THIS AGE......Anything can happen at any time....

THESE BODIES ARE NOT MADE TO LAST FOREVER.....

AT THE END... SOMETHING IS GOING TO GET US....

DEATH IS NOT PREJUDICE..... SHE WILL INCLUDE US WHEN IT IS OUR TIME...

I am ready.......
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I just pray it is quick, painless, and in my sleep.....
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My friend is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She told God to let her live until she is at least 70 (before cancer)... She made it to 74 and she said God kept his promise, and she is content.....

People react differently when they get the BIG C....
Some are graceful, some are sour (dad , sorry dad... love you too ), and some take this time to tie up loose ends and make a joyous reunion and party with loved ones..... I like that....

In my defense, I think or hope I will go quietly if I get the BIG C.... Nobody will know.... :) Life goes on..... Keep it quiet and comfortable for my loved ones.....
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