TW: sexual abuse-
My grandmother lives alone in another a couple hours away from me. She wants to move back to where I live but has put filling out the assisted living applications as her mind has been elsewhere. She has had minor memory issues for a bit now. Last summer she was able to find her half brother whom she hasn’t seen in over 30 years. She flew out to meet him and has not been the same since. I feel like I’m breaking her trust by talking to a forum but I have no idea what to do. She came back from that trip having intense feelings for him. To the point where she was comfortable telling me she cannot stop thinking of him sexually. She cannot go a day without thinking about him and has completely lost all of her inhibitions. When she came back from that trip she didn’t go to church for 3 weeks and stopped wearing her religious under garments. I’m glad she feels comfortable enough to confine in me but I have tried to get her to go to a therapist to have her make sense of her thoughts. The fact that she has no trouble going into graphic detail to me is worrying as she is known to be a very reserved lady.
Side note: Her brothers father whom was her step father sexually abused her for many years. I told her because of this unresolved trauma- you are having confused thoughts. He gave her attention that she hasn’t had in awhile (my grandpa has been gone for over a decade) so I’m sure it has confused her. Upon coming back from that trip she started to be extremely resentful towards my grandfather which I knew was a handful but she has always expressed her love for him and how he was the only one for her. Now it’s she had to escape a one bad situation to another. Meaning escaping her abusive step father to my grandfather. She also has a changed attitude about her biological dad and now refers to him as sperm donor and that he probably would have been the same way towards her that her step dad was. Obviously this wonderful lady has been through hell. I know that can be troublesome on the noggin especially since she’s held it in for all these years. I think seeing her brother has resurfaced all of this.
She is now relentless in seeing him again. To the point where she’s already planned another trip to go the other side of the country. I wish I could talk to my father about it but he isn’t in the mental capacity to empathize with something like that. My aunt is somebody I would talk to about this however I don’t know how to go about it as we are not close. I just want her to get the help she needs.
She also has expressed about finding a married man attractive in her building. They are quite close and he has allegedly alluded that if he weren’t married he would be with her. She told me that there’s one thing that they could do that wouldn’t be cheating: oral. I about fell out of my chair. I expressed to her how that is absolutely cheating and that if she were to do such thing she would have to deal with the wrath of his wife and God. Another odd thing that I’ve noticed is that she has been actively trying to lose weight before she goes to see her brother. She now plans to dress younger and has purchased items that she can’t afford to maintain this new look of hers.
I know this is a lot to read and a shot in the dark posting on the internet for advice but I have no idea how to move forward with this situation. Please and thank you for your help.