I was my grandmother caretaker for 16 years. The last 6 years full time. Her last year of life, the doctors told me I couldnt do it anymore, I began coming down with my own health issues from stress.
She had a daughter, who came by once a week. She lived about a mile away, but came and stayed maybe 20 minutes. Sometimes she went 8 months without coming by.
She had POA. My Gram gave it to her before she got the dementia, because she knew her daughter was uncaring, but thought she would be caring when the time was needed. She was mistaken.
My aunt told me she would not help me and that if I didnt want gram to go to a nursing home. Than I would do it on my own. So I did. While homeschooling 2 children.
We live in California. In the last year of Grams life, she had to go to a residential home cartakers home. A home where caretakers took care of her. I didnt want to send her, it broke my heart, but I was suffering emotionally and physically after so many years of being her cartaker.
Gram had a good pension from the school district, she had Social security and she had an insurance that helped pay for home care. She also owned a home
The minute I could no longer care for my Gram. My aunt moved my gram into a nice home that she and I chose out. She immediatly sold my grams home and everything in it. within a few months she began moving GRam to other homes....finding he cheapest home possible.
In the last home, I noticed that the caretaker had a horrible personality. Something shady was going on. I noticed a weird man (friend of the caretakers) hanging around. I didnt think that was appropriate at her workplace. He looked shady
I thought the caretaker had a very bad attitude, not CARING at all. She seemed BOTHERED and she didnt do a good job of hiding it.
My aunt told me that while she was there, my gram said "I have to go to the bathroom." The cartaker said in front of my aunt "I dont have time for this!" and she took my Gram to the toilet and YANKED on my Grams diaper and my Gram almost fell, Gram had to reach to hold on to the wall and bar.
When my Aunt told me this, I said "Linda, if this is how they act with her IN FRONT OF YOU, how do you think they are treating he when your not there?
meanwhile, my aunt was using the money from Grams pension, insurance, Social Security, sale of home.... to pay off her own home, and buy herself a new car and her drug addict daughter and her drug addict grandson new cars.
We get the call that Gram is in the hospital. She broke her hip. the caretakers called 911 around 4 in the morning, stating that Gram fell out of her bed. I saw grams wounds, she had wounds that did not make sense to a fall out of her bed. She had bad wounds 6 inches wide an 4 inches tall on the top front of her legs, right above her ankles. Both woulds dark black bruising...both looked exactly the same. My first thought was she fell in the shower, because there is a concrete step over thingy that she would have to step over to get in and out of the shower. But at 4 am? And they never mentioned the shower.
I talked to her surgeons and they both said that the injuries DID NOT conincide with what the caretakers said happened, unless there was a drawer or something by her bed that she could have hit when she "fell out of her bed" I said NO that there was not a drawer or anything near her bed at that level and carpet under her bed.
I saw tiny wounds that looked healed.... perfect tiny circles.....all the exact same size..... I thought possibly cigarette burns. I dont see how bedsores could all be the perfect size like that.
Gram started telling me that they are mean to here there, that they hit her and she said she tries to hit them back. She said that they laugh at her. She told me NOT to tell anyone, not her daughter, not no one, because she was scared they would hurt her more.
I told the nurses all my concerns. Hospital social workers came to speak to me. I told them what the surgeon said, what Gram said and I told them all about what my Aunt said happened while she was there, that the caretaker yelled and pulled at her diaper and almost knocked Gram down.
My Aunt was upset that I told. And in front of me,, to the social worker she said that I was lying that it never happened.
Gram died of pneumonia she caught from the broken hip. She never had a hard time breathing before that.
She spent a week in the hospital, than 2 in a nursing home, then was getting sent back to the home. I asked my Aunt and my aunt said they were sending her to another home, another home owned by the same person, but with a diferent cartaker. She said to me "The owner said she is getting older, and can no longer oversee so many homes."
I never knew what happend? Was anyone persecuted? Were files charged? What happened with the investigation? Do I have any rights to find out?
Its been three years and I am now emotionally strong enough to ask.
Do I have a right to answers? How?