My grandmother lives on the edge of a small college campus, she is an extrovert talks to everyone who passes (usually about herself) she came across a 38 year old man at the time who was attending this school who told her he is homeless, he moved in and it has been 4 years. she is now 92 he is 42 and she seems to have a bizarre liking for him. my parents have been there multiple times and told him he must leave as well as my siblings. this is because, he is 42, and through a background check he has been arrested for mulitiple times since 2011, for retail theft, public drunkeness and lewd acts in public most recently. My grandmother will not hand her checkbook over to my mother. her house is now in my mothers name, but we do not have enough money saved to put her in a home, which he refuses to leave her "beloved house" anyway. this man keeps crawling back to my grandmother and its a bizarre elder abuse situation. this guy has not had a job since he "moved" in, and has never paid one bill, never paid my grandmother any amount of rent, he has never even bought toilet paper. things have gotten worse for my grandmother, she is living in filth. (FYI she lives about 3 hours from my parents, and does not want to move to where my parents live)
one of the lucky things is that this man who is freeloading off my grandmother has signed a legal document stating that he must leave when we (my mother/father) ask him to leave. we have told him he must leave 2 weeks ago because she is unable to care for herself (she doesn't cook anymore stopped eating even if we fill her fridge up with simple foods) and the worst part of having to tell him he has one month to leave is now he STOLE my grandmothers car, to go to the drug store about a mile away (he also does not have a drivers license) and somehow completely totaled the car, leaving her without a car now. she is 92 we have told her she is not getting a new car. when my parents went to her house all he said is "sorry" "the brakes locked". i have never in my life come across a person like this. unfortunately my siblings and I are spread out all over the U.S. with lives and jobs.
well, after he crashed her car, he didn't even tell her until she wen to the garage and it was not there. he is EXTREMELY shady, and we have all told my grandmother to get rid of him, but because of her fear of being alone (even though we have told her multiple times we will pay someone to come there, 4-5 hours a day to help her clean, eat, talk to her, bath her etc) she will just not let this guy go. No one thinks their "relations" have gone intimate, but she just has this strange liking to him. she also bailed him out of jail, after he was caught in the park doing "lewd acts". when we ask her, how did you know he was in jail, or did you get a letter in the mail? or did he ask you to come there and pay? she claims she can't remember. she is loosing her short term memory, she never remember what she eats but she talks about how she just ate. things are just not connecting, and i am not sure how to proceed, we are awaiting this homeless man to leave her house, but my family is scared he will just never go, and he will lurk back and talk his way with her into staying.
he also "hears voices" and can't sleep at night, so instead he sleeps all day, (according to my grandmother)
lastly, I recently drove her home with my mother after the holiday this week. we went in her house, and he never appeared, but he has taken over the entire 2 bedrooms upstairs, while she is content sleeping in the basement, as she always has. i stormed upstairs, and he is sleeping at 2pm, and she seemed oddly relieved he didn't leave yet. i was looking for photo albums but also snooping. i don't even care i stormed up right into the room. it smells of cigarettes and there are beers, its disgusting, and please understand that every time we try and talk sense into my grandmother, she gets VERY defensive about her life, and does not want us telling him or her who can be there, and she should be living in the upstairs, and etc etc. she is also in denial about her house smelling of urine. her dog seems to urinate on all the furniture and carpet in the living area. I can not be in the house too long because not only am I disgusted but I can't breathe. When my mother and I have tried cleaning she gets "offended" and thinks her house is clean. We, and other friends have told her we will get in a new carpet, professional cleaning system, and she gets angry and says she loves her carpet and its fine and perfect.
If anyone has any insight on this extremely complicated and unbelievable issue, please any advice if you have ever dealt with an extremely stubborn elder who is loosing their mind, attached to the wrong people because she thinks she is "helping them" but they are just using her!!! I am losing my mind. we can't seem to tell her what to do, and after all this, her physical health is just fine!