Follow
Share

My grandmother has Alzheimer's and was just placed in a skilled nursing facility this past weekend. She is mentally incompetent. Her husband (also her PoA) called 911 last week and had her taken away saying he could no longer care for her. He is 82. He tried assisted living with her before and it caused a huge family fight when he decided to move home again with my grandmother. He shut my mother out and refused to let her visit. Yes it's complicated. Now he's sold their home and is moving away and saying he is taking grandma with him and his daughter will care for her. She is not a nurse. Is there anything we can do here? My family is completely devastated and we are tired of seeing my grandmother suffer as she's yanked from one place to another. My mother is going to file for emergency guardianship but I worry we won't get anywhere. Are there any laws that can protect her and keep her in the nursing home where she is safe?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
If he just sold his home, that may make her ineligible for Medicaid in the community...too much income and savings. The facility is the best most stable location.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Your grandfather must know something is wrong to go to such extrems. I am desperatly trying to get my mother home and out of the SNF where she is residing. There is a Federal and State (Medicade) program that will pay for health careproviders to come into your grandparents home and safely care for her there. She will NOT get safe treatment in a SNF. They will lie straight to your face !!! Please, for your grandmothers health and safety go to your local welfare office and ask for the In-Home Operation Waiver information. You want your loved one OUT of a facility and In her home with 24/7 care, where she will get more 1 on 1 care at the SNF. It is out there, but there is a huge waiting list.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If grandmother's welfare is at stake, I'd seek legal advice from an an experienced attorney in such matters. I'd make sure that they know how to litigate contested Guardianship matters. They should be able to know what evidence is needed. Prevailing without proper process, evidence and presentation, is difficult. I'd make sure you are well informed and represented. In many states, if you prevail, you can recover your attorney fees.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

24 hour 7 day a week care is impossible without outside help and only possible if the primary family caregiver is dedicated to the effort. In your case it definitely sounds like your step-family has their eyes on her income not her well being. As others have said get documentation. And a good lawyer.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Lindsay, usually in situations like this, the NH social worker can be a good source of guidance with regards to pursuing emergency guardianship.

The nh can also provide the documentation you need to support claims of grandma's care needs.

Good luck!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Thank you so much for your sympathy to our current situation and for your reply. My grandfather is my step-grandfather. There are absolutely major financial aspects involved here. My grandmother brings in more monthly than he does and he wants to buy a new condo. (He sold his house just this month) His daughter, from my understanding, has been offered a room in the condo if she cares for my grandmother. I didn't mention she has tried this before in their home and quit within a week. I truly hope the courts can help us here because there is no convincing him or his daughter that this is an unacceptable care plan. We have tried before and it only resulted in deeper divisions in our family.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am so sorry for the family drama and crisis. It is certainly terrible enough for a loved one to have dementia. No one needs the extra pain of family conflict.

I certainly hope your mother is awarded emergency guardianship! That would put her in charge of where GMa lives.

Is grandfather your mother's dad, or is this a later marriage?

I think what grandfather doesn't understand is that a mentally incompetent dementia patient not only needs 24 hour care, she needs care by three shifts of rested, trained people, who only have to push a button to get immediate backup if needed. She needs to be in a safe environment, with quick access to medical help. Even if his daughter is Florence Nightingale, she can't single-handedly provide 24-hour care in a private home 7 days a week.

Is GPa truly devoted to his wife, or are there also some financial considerations here?

Do you know his daughter well? Do you consider her your aunt? Is she a pretty reasonable person? I wonder if talking to her might be useful. If she informs GPa that she can't do 24/7 care, and he already knows he can't do it, would that stop him?

Let us know as this is working out. It certainly is a sad situation.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.