Grandma getting confused and saying things that aren't true - some about me. What do I do?

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My uncle (Grandma's son) came over to my house to visit Grandma yesterday. I was in Grandma's bedroom across the hall doing chores, but could hear parts of their conversation. Approximately 45 min. after he got there, Grandma told him she was hungry and that I did not feed her supper! This was about 70 min. after she had just eaten her normal supper. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want anyone to think I was eavesdropping. I can't help it that the walls are thin though.

Additionally, I heard her say a few other things that were not right about people or events. She said her sister had recently visited, but she hasn't been there in over a month. The other things she said about people or events were insignificant, but they were still untrue.

So about 20 min. after she said she hadn't eaten, she asked her son to get a jello cup out of the fridge on his way back from the bathroom. I took this opportunity to go check with Grandma and caught her son in the kitchen. He said she hadn't had supper and I told him she had finished eating about 30 min. or so before he had arrived. I said she gets confused and forgets things (which he should already know) and he said maybe she was just hungry then. We laughed about it so I guess it's ok.

I've known Grandma's memory hasn't been good for 15 years, even back when she was still getting around perfectly fine on her own. Considering that her memory has been noticeably bad for the last 5 years, I find it highly disturbing that anyone might even consider believing her when she says I didn't feed her a meal. Even before she lived with me, I knew her well enough to not believe everything she says. I take everything with a grain of salt.

I find this matter to be really upsetting but I'm not sure exactly why. I don't know if it's because this is basically the first bad thing she's said about me (that I know of) or if it's because someone might actually believe it.

I'm considering contacting the two or three people who visit her on a regular basis to let them know about this incident. I would like them to know that if she says something like this again and they are concerned about it, to talk to me because it's most likely not true. Grandma has access to her own food that she can get at anytime and often does. She really goes through the snack cups in the fridge (jello, fruit, pudding, yogurt). She gets one out in the early morning before I wake up and she eats them in the middle of the day and before lunch. If I have chores that keep me super busy, I'll leave her a sandwich in the fridge, or some PB crackers or a cereal bar on the table. The point is, she won't starve because she knows where the food is and can get it on her own.

I'm wondering what others think about this? What should I do?

As a side note, it kills me when Grandma tells old stories to people (particularly the younger grandchildren) and everything she says is different then when she told the stories repeatedly years ago. She gets years, events, and people wrong. It just seems ashame that those who don't know better (the other grandchildren) are hearing inaccurate recollections of her life.

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In psychiatry, confabulation (verb: confabulate) is a memory disturbance, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive.
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I'm so sorry - your grandmother, I mean.
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What your uncle needs to understand, with his "maybe she's just hungry then" good-humoured remark, is that he is really not getting the picture.

A jello will have done your mother no harm; that's not the problem. But your uncle has to get that your mother quite literally has no idea whether she's hungry or not. Appetite, body clocks, cease to have any meaning; and distraction is just as useful a diversion as feeding her if she says she's hungry less than two hours after a good dinner. More so, in fact; otherwise she might well *really* not have any appetite for her next proper meal.

I'm sorry he has to learn this because it's a sad thing, but he needs to stop taking some of the things your mother says at face value. Welcome him to Planet Dementia.
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We have all experienced this. You don't need to call anybody. Just keep a log of what you fed her and when, and add entries where she snacks on her own. Leave that log on the fridge so others can see it too. Good records are good defense.
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The comments you made about her memory being bad for 15 years and really bad for 5 in addition to the comments she's making that are untrue and the confusion about the timing of visits points to dementia of some sort. It's possible she's had a TIA. It is human nature to not see signs of dementia or aging in our loved ones. Her son has been trained from birth to believe what his mother says. Please forgive him for thinking that she was hungry. I'm pretty certain he wasn't thinking bad thoughts against you, personally. Sometimes food is placed in front of my mom. She's not hungry or for some reason doesn't eat. Sometimes she thinks she's already eaten and I can't convince her otherwise. Later she will forget that food was offered and will say that she hasn't eaten. She gets the times of day mixed up too. Well, anyway, most everyone on this forum can relate to your dilemma. No one likes to think that we aren't doing 100%. We are so hard on ourselves. I'm sure you've done a great job of caregiving your grandmother and you know that it can't stay static. There will be challenges ahead and this is just one. Hugs.
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Thanks. I don't think she has dementia or Alzheimers though, I think it's age or medical related (perhaps she developed another UTI). She kind of goes through cycles.

But what really bothers me is that she told her son I hadn't fed her and he believed her until I told him otherwise. What happens when she does this again but I don't know about it? I'm not sure why anyone would just automatically believe her.
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It is tiresome for people who live with it every day, but like you said, the others don't know. Don't worry so much about the tales and the "truth". If it is important, write a booklet and print off copies. The versions you heard growing up may not be entirely the truth either. I know the tales I heard growing up changed with every telling. Like fish stories, I guess. Mom has been sitting at the table before and asked if we were going to eat, when we just finished. The brain is a weird and wondrous thing. Hallucinations and delusions is our dilemma right now. We learn as we go along. Mom is in the 2nd day of talking nonstop. To me and to people in the room that I can't see. These episodes are getting more frequent and are very disturbing to one and all.
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I found this section on Aging Care that has a lot of excellent articles about Alzheimer's/Dementia with a lot of good suggestions. https://www.agingcare.com/alzheimers-dementia

It is quite normal for an elder who has memory issues to forget when they had last eaten. We have to remember that their brain isn't processing things correctly.

My Dad has dementia and recently he still believes that he is going to work every day [he had retired from work 30 years ago], that he has meetings to go to, that he takes the bus to work, and will call me saying he had missed the bus so he is staying over at a motel. But I know he is in his Memory Care room because of the Caller ID. It still rattles me when he does this, but I am slowly trying to play along with his calls.
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